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Old 12-08-2006, 05:34 AM   #1
CurlyCanadian's Avatar
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Default Letter to Walmart

I've seen this before, but it always cracks me up! Reminds me of shopping with my Dad when I was little

Mr. And Mrs. Fenton are retired. Mrs. Fenton insists that he go with her to Wal-Mart. He gets bored with all the shopping. He prefers to get in and get out, but Mrs. Fenton loves to browse. Here's a letter sent to her from the store.

Dear Mrs. Fenton,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may ban both of you from our stores. We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment. All complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed

Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done while his spouse was shopping in Wal-Mart:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares... And watched what happened.

5. Aug 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. Sept 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Sept 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other Shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding Department.

8. Sept 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him him, he begins to cry and asks, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. Oct 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, And picked his nose.

10. Nov 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knows where to find the antidepressants.

11. Dec 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. Dec 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Dec 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, Yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. Dec 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

And last, but not least ....

15. Dec 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
I believe in manicures. I believe in overdressing. I believe in primping at leisure and wearing lipstick. I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.
Audrey Hepburn
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Old 12-08-2006, 09:01 AM   #2
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LOL that is too funny
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Old 12-08-2006, 09:07 AM   #3
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Too funny..thanks for the laugh I needed that..
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Old 12-08-2006, 09:32 AM   #4
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Old 12-08-2006, 09:40 AM   #5
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"It's a matter of taking the side of the weak against the strong, something the best people have always done."- Harriet Beecher Stowe
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Old 12-08-2006, 09:47 AM   #6
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OHG. Am I pathetic? I laughed so hard, I spit my coffee on the keyboard!
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Old 12-08-2006, 09:54 AM   #7
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OMG that was hilarious, especially the last one!!

Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
My kids and I have actually done that one.
pw - jack

Going natural for the summer...just a dab of ArcAngell!
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Old 12-08-2006, 12:06 PM   #8
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My friends and I in High School use to play tag in Walmart. It was a lot of fun!!! Walmart was really nice about it. They could have thrown us out....
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