So When A Woman Has Big Breasts She's Given Off Vibes???

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[QUOTE=turtles;1597113
.....I was just saying if you have big boobs and you wear any shirt that allows cleavage to be seen you're a slut (NOT REALLY) but if you're an A cup and you wear a low cut top and you don't really have cleavage you're okay, that was not MY ACTUAL OPINION,.[/QUOTE]

I know that wasn't your opinion
Oops. I messed up the quote and the forum wouldn't let me go back and edit my post.

Edit: As long as I've started a new post, I might as well add that the men I know are not like this. Maybe it is because I am older, and the men that I associate with have more experience with women, and more life experience in general, but the men I am friends with - including my husband - do not think that every woman wants to have sex with them or that women are just sex objects.

The men I know treat women like human beings.

Many men have sisters. Many men have close female friends.

Please don't put all men into the same category just because of a few losers.

Last edited by Malory; 02-28-2011 at 05:31 AM. Reason: Stuff about men
he meant like see the imprint of it, like camel toe.
it's really idiotic. don't even try to make sense of it.
Originally Posted by frau
I think it's sad that an adult doesn't know the difference between camel toe and vaginas.

Even most gay men who realized they were gay before dating any females would know THAT difference...

And I agree that not all men are pigs. There's a difference between having less than pristine thoughts on a regular basis (which I believe would apply to most men) and not understanding that not every woman out there is throwing herself at them, not respecting women, etc. Many women do think if a man has a sexual thought about her he's not showing respect, but I would disagree with that as much as I would disagree with the idea most men as as huge pigs as this guy.
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I never realized this about men until just recently...at the ripe old age of 30. I guess that I always wanted to assume the best.

It totally shocks me about what seemingly innocent thing men find sexual, and how they think that women realize they're conjuring these feelings. I'm talking about something as small as wearing a loose, conservative shell top (ohh...showing bare arms...) in 95 degree weather or sqatting to take a file out of a cabinet.

Then, if you err on the Hillary Clinton side of things, you're accused of being too masculine. Comments are made, even by women, that you should try to look more feminine. There is just no winning.
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I think it's a couple things. #1 when you have big boobs it is simply harder to hide or downplay them. So if a man is looking at two women and one doesn't have very noticeable breasts and the other has ones that you can't miss, the guy thinks the latter lady is "showing off" on purpose. Even though she can't help it. It's like their brains don't (or can't) make the extra leap to think "oh, it's because they are actually harder to hide."

#2 They see a woman with large breasts, and they get all hot and bothered, so they decide the woman "did it to them" and therefore, she must be giving off some kind of vibes to "make" them think this way.

I have started to wear looser things to work the past couple months. It took years for my boyfriend to beat these facts into my head. I used to argue with him, "I can't make them smaller, guys know that, they know I'm not trying to be slutty and that this is just my body" and he would say "no, they think about that. All they think about is that your boobs are quite noticeable."

(BTW my BF never asks me to stop wearing fitted clothing and generally doesn't comment on my clothes, but when I ask him if an outfit is "too much" he answers honestly.)
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Why should you have to "hide" your boobs because they're over a certain size anyway?

So if you don't fall into the under C cup category, you're a circus freak with giant knockers and you have to do whatever it takes to downplay them?

I'm sure MEN think more sexual of a woman who has big boobs, but it doesn't necessarily mean anything about the actual woman.

It took me a while to get used to my big boobs, but now, I wouldn't trade them for anything. I wish they were a little firmer....a little higher maybe, but I appreciate the attention they get. And I like when they're played with, so I think they're noticeable for a reason.

I never realized this about men until just recently...at the ripe old age of 30. I guess that I always wanted to assume the best.

It totally shocks me about what seemingly innocent thing men find sexual, and how they think that women realize they're conjuring these feelings. I'm talking about something as small as wearing a loose, conservative shell top (ohh...showing bare arms...) in 95 degree weather or sqatting to take a file out of a cabinet.

Then, if you err on the Hillary Clinton side of things, you're accused of being too masculine. Comments are made, even by women, that you should try to look more feminine. There is just no winning.
Originally Posted by slinky1

Nope.
I never realized this about men until just recently...at the ripe old age of 30. I guess that I always wanted to assume the best.

It totally shocks me about what seemingly innocent thing men find sexual, and how they think that women realize they're conjuring these feelings. I'm talking about something as small as wearing a loose, conservative shell top (ohh...showing bare arms...) in 95 degree weather or sqatting to take a file out of a cabinet.

Then, if you err on the Hillary Clinton side of things, you're accused of being too masculine. Comments are made, even by women, that you should try to look more feminine. There is just no winning.
Originally Posted by slinky1

Nope.
Originally Posted by turtles
This is exactly the kind of thing I'm talking about. As women, by definition, we can't win. Such is the nature of our patriarchal and increasing objectified society.

Opening a file cabinet is a not a sexual gesture.
Neither is having "too large" breasts. (It's actually not a gesture at all. )

However, in our society, women have been sexualized to the point where they ARE considered sexual gestures. (We can blame porn for this, to some degree, but that's another thread. It's certainly not the only contributor though.) Now, of course, not all men consider women as sex toys and some women may win in their individual circumstances. I'm speaking in very broad terms. Even people who are rational, self-reflective who can honestly say "women are not sex objects" still view them through the lens of our culture - a culture that tends to measure a woman's worth based on her "sexual appeal."

Last edited by Saila; 02-28-2011 at 01:38 PM.
I think most of the stigma leans toward women who have a smaller waist/boob ratio. Most studies are usually done on the waist/hip ratio - but I think this idea is missing someting entirely.

When a woman has a DD cup and a tiny waist size - men stare, (some) women are threatened and and people of both sexes walk into walls trying to get a glimpse.

When a woman has a larger waist and a DD cup - it just seems naturally less "obscene". Still noteworthy, but less "jaw dropping".

Am I wrong?
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When a woman has a DD cup and a tiny waist size - men stare, (some) women are threatened and and people of both sexes walk into walls trying to get a glimpse.

When a woman has a larger waist and a DD cup - it just seems naturally less "obscene". Still noteworthy, but less "jaw dropping".

Am I wrong?
Originally Posted by LISA LISA
Well a DD cup on a large woman is gonna be bigger than a DD cup on a thin woman.
When a woman has a DD cup and a tiny waist size - men stare, (some) women are threatened and and people of both sexes walk into walls trying to get a glimpse.

When a woman has a larger waist and a DD cup - it just seems naturally less "obscene". Still noteworthy, but less "jaw dropping".

Am I wrong?
Originally Posted by LISA LISA
Well a DD cup on a large woman is gonna be bigger than a DD cup on a thin woman.
Originally Posted by Eilonwy
I'm sure you understand my point.
Big Chop from hip - 5/2014
Enjoying the journey to APL or BSL!

Many women do think if a man has a sexual thought about her he's not showing respect, but I would disagree with that as much as I would disagree with the idea most men as as huge pigs as this guy.
This. I don't see anything wrong with having sexual thoughts. You can see someone in a sexual way and still treat them with dignity and respect.
curlypearl likes this.
Men just have a fascination with boobs. Whether we "flaunt" them or not, somehow the mere fact of having visible boobage makes some men think we're somehow signalling them our sexual desires. They don't seem to understand that our boobs come with the package, that we don't want to minimize them, duct tape them, hide them because they may have a reaction to them. They're just projecting their own feelings unto us and have no understanding that to most women most of the time boobs are not sexual.
Originally Posted by nikske
This.

Also [in reference to the OP, and breast size aside] if a woman is sexual that does not make her a whore, a ho, or a hoe or any other gardening implement. Frankly, to even casually imply otherwise is misogynistic.

Also, no casual observer can ever see anyone's vagina, no matter how short or tight their clothing is.
I never realized this about men until just recently...at the ripe old age of 30. I guess that I always wanted to assume the best.

It totally shocks me about what seemingly innocent thing men find sexual, and how they think that women realize they're conjuring these feelings. I'm talking about something as small as wearing a loose, conservative shell top (ohh...showing bare arms...) in 95 degree weather or sqatting to take a file out of a cabinet.

Then, if you err on the Hillary Clinton side of things, you're accused of being too masculine. Comments are made, even by women, that you should try to look more feminine. There is just no winning.
Originally Posted by slinky1

Nope.
Originally Posted by turtles
This is exactly the kind of thing I'm talking about. As women, by definition, we can't win. Such is the nature of our patriarchal and increasing objectified society.

Opening a file cabinet is a not a sexual gesture.
Neither is having "too large" breasts. (It's actually not a gesture at all. )

However, in our society, women have been sexualized to the point where they ARE considered sexual gestures. (We can blame porn for this, to some degree, but that's another thread. It's certainly not the only contributor though.) Now, of course, not all men consider women as sex toys and some women may win in their individual circumstances. I'm speaking in very broad terms. Even people who are rational, self-reflective who can honestly say "women are not sex objects" still view them through the lens of our culture - a culture that tends to measure a woman's worth based on her "sexual appeal."
Originally Posted by Saila
word.

and that's why when other women insult other women they immediately insult something about their looks or weight or they call them a slut. ....I remember when I was called a slut in elementary school by this other girl because I wouldn't let her wear my jacket that I got for christmas
I'm sure you understand my point.
Originally Posted by LISA LISA
Well yes, I do. I was making another point about how bra sizing works

As for your point, I think the difference is that thinness is conventionally attractive and fatness is not conventionally attractive. Also since most women's boobs are mostly fat, it's less common for women with low body fat to have large breasts.
My mom has long been under the impression that European men don't make as big a deal out of breasts than American men do. She traveled Europe in the 70s, but I'm not sure where and when she got that impression. She says the American man's obsession with boobs makes Europeans think they're coddled and love boobs because they want mother like mates. It's not like there isn't native sex appeal in them, but the above and beyond response stems from that.

I personally have no clue but wouldn't mind hearing from any Europeans on the matter

If I had to guess, boobs are probably as big a deal in at least England as they are here...and maybe, if my mom is right, it's just carried over.
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^ Breasts are just a big a deal over here - but I don't think they are in some other countries.
^ Breasts are just a big a deal over here - but I don't think they are in some other countries.
Originally Posted by kat180
I concur
Fat does not make you fat. It's actually pretty important.

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