Would you ever call the police on your teenage kid if he/she acted up?

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Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 4,210
Like, would you call 911 and say come get my kid...he/she is acting up. I think he/she is depressed or something.
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 15,533
I don't have kids and so have never done it, but I do know someone who did, and it didn't work out well. Once the family was in "the system" it was impossible to get out.
Never. Maybe the police in other places are different than in a small town, but I doubt it. Knowing what I know now, I would never call the police unless my life or my children's lives were in imminent danger. What ninja dog said about the system is true, and I'll add that the system is misogynistic, anti family, and seeks to tear families apart without thought about the consequences.
Not for the example given.

However, my family has. Situations such as they called on a stepsister who at the time was going through a violent phase and started screaming and threatening injury. In my experience the system does everything possible to keep families together. While I have heard many people claim otherwise, every situation I know details on where they make such claims, they are untrue. 15-25 years later my stepsiblings who were in the system are actually better for it, including the family counseling and different kinds of therapies they got out of it.
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I'm not a huge fan of authority, so, no, unless it was an extreme situation of imminent death, I wouldn't be calling police on anyone in my family.
Unless there was major violence involved, no, for the reasons already mentioned.
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I've worked in the psych emergency department and so often see families who have. Often it's because the parents fear for their physical safety. I think that would be the trigger for me - fear for my safety or that of my family
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Not for the example given.

However, my family has. Situations such as they called on a stepsister who at the time was going through a violent phase and started screaming and threatening injury. In my experience the system does everything possible to keep families together. While I have heard many people claim otherwise, every situation I know details on where they make such claims, they are untrue. 15-25 years later my stepsiblings who were in the system are actually better for it, including the family counseling and different kinds of therapies they got out of it.
Originally Posted by NetG
My experience (both personal and professional) is very different. Behaving disrespectfully towards mothers in particular, asking young children leading and damaging questions, and accusing parents of violence, drug use, or what have you where none exists in an attempt to perpetuate a false case is damaging to families and can and does have the effect of tearing them apart even if the so called authorities did not succeed in separating the family. Forcing people to participate in ineffective and trite "programs" often has grave economic and personal consequences. Enduring the stress that social services places upon families as they insist that parents conform to mainstream practices is damaging to families. So yeah, maybe on paper they "make every effort to keep families together" but the actual consequences of their ineffective meddling are often that a family is torn apart. I do know of a couple of cases where intervention was needed and welcome and somewhat effective... but for the most part, it seems like they are just in it to drum up business for themselves and whichever programs they contract with.
Need a little more information. But generally, no. Not that I have kids.
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I don't have kids, but DH's family has called the police several times on his sister. She is an adult, but still lives at home, and would have violent outbursts at DH's mom, who is disabled because of MS.

They're getting help. The situation has gotten better, and I don't think it would have without police involvement.
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if the situation became dangerous and/or violent, absolutely.
if the situation became dangerous and/or violent, absolutely.
Originally Posted by subbrock
Ditto. Other than that, of course not.
I have no idea what "acting up" means, but my parents did it because my sister tied up my baby brother (who was 4 at the time), locked him in her closet, left her room, locked her bedroom door, and refused to let him out. He had been in there since she got home from school and was still there when my parents got home from work. She insisted that she would leave him there until he starved to death or died from thirst.

She also would go into violent rages and attack all of us. She attacked my father and tried to stab him more than once. I ran away at 16 because of it (when she was 14). My parents should have called them sooner.

ETA: I think unless it is an extreme case, like my sister, or one that looks like it is leading up to one that you can't handle, you shouldn't call the police. Therapy, school counselors, other avenues should be explored first. Calling the police should be a last resort, reserved for the need for real actual protection of your child or others. Except in very extreme circumstances, it shouldn't be necessary.
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Last edited by Nallia; 05-31-2011 at 11:35 AM.
if the situation became dangerous and/or violent, absolutely.
Originally Posted by subbrock
Ditto. Other than that, of course not.
Originally Posted by Josephine
This, or maybe if a major crime is happening, like a big robbery or drug dealing.
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my mom called the cops on my sister once. she was maybe 11 or 12. She had been haven't horrible tantrums. Mom says go to bed she goes in her room and rip it apart. It was going on for a few years. But one particular day, my sister refused to go to school and refused to wear her glasses. My dad was tired of all the bs so he left, my mom was at her wits end i guess. She didnt have to deal with any of this with me. so she called the cops as a scared straight measure. They came and was really nice (one was a total hottie and was getting a masters in criminal justice) They pretty much sat down with my sis and told her how important education was. And a city like Baltimore (where we're from), alot of kids dont understand that and falls through the cracks.

It did the trick. My sister still had behavior issuses, but after that she wore her glasses and went to school unless she was ill.

I admit calling the cops is risky, but sometimes you need a scare tactic (anyone watch beyond scare straight?). You don't want it to get to the point your kids is threatening you with violence. You should nip it before it gets to that.
First, I think you need to define "acted up" as that can mean so many things.

But I definitely agree with this:

if the situation became dangerous and/or violent, absolutely.
Originally Posted by subbrock
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 15,533
my mom called the cops on my sister once. she was maybe 11 or 12. She had been haven't horrible tantrums. Mom says go to bed she goes in her room and rip it apart. It was going on for a few years. But one particular day, my sister refused to go to school and refused to wear her glasses. My dad was tired of all the bs so he left, my mom was at her wits end i guess. She didnt have to deal with any of this with me. so she called the cops as a scared straight measure. They came and was really nice (one was a total hottie and was getting a masters in criminal justice) They pretty much sat down with my sis and told her how important education was. And a city like Baltimore (where we're from), alot of kids dont understand that and falls through the cracks.

It did the trick. My sister still had behavior issuses, but after that she wore her glasses and went to school unless she was ill.

I admit calling the cops is risky, but sometimes you need a scare tactic (anyone watch beyond scare straight?). You don't want it to get to the point your kids is threatening you with violence. You should nip it before it gets to that.
Originally Posted by thelio
Those were some great cops. I'm glad it worked out so well.
I'm a teenager myself but...

If my theoretical child started to be abusive, endanger myself or others, then as if they were a stranger, I would call the cops.
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If your safety is threatened, definetly. I believe some say never ever, but really no one knows if they would until they actually live with a seemingly uncontrollable and totally unpredictably violent person. I'm a teenager though.

My sister abused of alcohol and drugs as a teenager. When she became a teen, she was troubled and often threatened my parents and my brothers and I (me and my little brother were about 7-8-9). Our family lived basically in fear and stress. My parents never called the cops on her, but a girl at her school who'd seen her with a gun did.
Honestly, that girl calling the cops probably was the best thing anyone ever did for her. It was the turning point for her, or the beginning of one. I think it was kind of a wake up call/epiphany.
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I don't have kids and so have never done it, but I do know someone who did, and it didn't work out well. Once the family was in "the system" it was impossible to get out.
Originally Posted by ninja dog
We have friends who did that and the same thing - it did not have a good result. The daughter told the cops her mother had grabbed her (maybe she did-I do not know) and it went downhill from there.


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