Help me craft an appology request. (UPDATE) - Page 3

scrills · 07-13-2011, 12:20 PM

Your best friend is also your ex's sister?

sew and sew · 07-13-2011, 03:09 PM

With all that explanation, and especially the fact you have so much fun with them, I totally understand not wanting to walk away. But if you read Josephine's post up thread, I think that illustrates why it's best to. Sometimes everyone else who hasn't been directly affected will reason you're overreacting, but the truth is, if it happened to them, they would wrestle with gnawing doubts about the real loyalty of their friends too.

If she apologizes after the context is made so open to her by you, and not naturally, right now...or yesterday as she should have, you're probably not going to feel great about it in the long run. And understandably so.

Your best friend doesn't think she should apologize. That's messed up. She's not acting like a best friend.

These friends are a lot of fun, but do you genuinely feel like they're actual friends? From an outside perspective, it sounds like you deserve other, better friends you can have a great time with.

If you see them all (including your best friend) as casual friends, and you just want to clear the air...not for purposes of de-complicating genuine deep friendship...but simply so you can have (ultimately detached from each other down deep) but great fun times together...then where you're coming from makes sense. But you do seem to have a little more emotion attached than that.

luvmylocs · 07-13-2011, 03:19 PM

nej don't fall into the trap of thinking these are the only girls you'll ever have fun with. remember that saying "people are in your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime". perhaps their reason or season has passed. they don't sound like lifetime friends but even if you chose to continue to hang around them you have to be very detached and remember they are just fun and nothing more. it's like trying to make a guy that's just friends with benefits into your main main, it rarely works no matter how much you discuss it!

Nej · 07-13-2011, 03:33 PM

[QUOTE=sew and sew;1716707]With all that explanation, and especially the fact you have so much fun with them, I totally understand not wanting to walk away. But if you read Josephine's post up thread, I think that illustrates why it's best to. Sometimes everyone else who hasn't been directly affected will reason you're overreacting, but the truth is, if it happened to them, they would wrestle with gnawing doubts about the real loyalty of their friends too.

If she apologizes after the context is made so open to her by you, and not naturally, right now...or yesterday as she should have, you're probably not going to feel great about it in the long run. And understandably so.

Your best friend doesn't think she should apologize. That's messed up. She's not acting like a best friend.

These friends are a lot of fun, but do you genuinely feel like they're actual friends? From an outside perspective, it sounds like you deserve other, better friends you can have a great time with.

If you see them all (including your best friend) as casual friends, and you just want to clear the air...not for purposes of de-complicating genuine deep friendship...but simply so you can have (ultimately detached from each other down deep) but great fun times together...then where you're coming from makes sense. But you do seem to have a little more emotion attached than that.[/QUOTE]

This kind of sums it up. And yes one of my best girl friends is also my exes sisters. And yes she thinks that she should definitly appologize, but her loyalties are conflicted since they have a much deeper history with eachother and doesn't want to get too involved.

I said best friend because we are really close. She isn't the person I would go to to help me with deep emotional turmoil but I spend a lot of time with her, enjoy her compant a lot, and we talk about a lot of stuff together.

Nej · 07-13-2011, 03:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by luvmylocs

nej don't fall into the trap of thinking these are the only girls you'll ever have fun with. remember that saying "people are in your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime". perhaps their reason or season has passed. they don't sound like lifetime friends but even if you chose to continue to hang around them you have to be very detached and remember they are just fun and nothing more. it's like trying to make a guy that's just friends with benefits into your main main, it rarely works no matter how much you discuss it!

I think you may be right. I appreciate your answers and thank you for it.

Nej · 07-13-2011, 09:01 PM

So I sent her a message telling her how I felt.

She wrote me back and ended up calling me. She was sincerely apologetic and we had a long conversation and I feel ALOT better.

I'm glad I stood up for myself and let me voice be heard and I'm no longer afraid of awkwardness. I didn't even have to ask for an apology, once I opened up that I was open to talking it came freely.

Thank you for all the advice!

WileE-Dead · 07-14-2011, 05:32 AM

Awesome!

scrills · 07-14-2011, 08:22 AM

I'm happy it all worked out

geeky · 07-14-2011, 08:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by scrills

I'm happy it all worked out

+1

SpaghettiHead · 07-14-2011, 08:50 AM

Sounds like it worked out just the way you wanted it to.

Nej · 07-14-2011, 08:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SpaghettiHead

Sounds like it worked out just the way you wanted it to.

It did!

Although this whole thing has exposed to truth as to what actually happened during their tryst. But what can you do, you live and learn, and move on.

SpaghettiHead · 07-14-2011, 09:04 AM

Such is life......

curlypearl · 07-15-2011, 09:30 AM

Nej, good for you for taking action and not sitting and stewing.