CIBC!

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Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 15,533
How are you?
Going by recent posts, I'd say a few months shy of 30.


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Kiva! Microfinance works.

Med/Coarse, porous curly.
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 15,533
No, no.....

I'd have had to have asked, "How old CIBC?"

Then she could ghave answered, "Old CIBC fine."
Oh, snap!!

I didn't mean to take the wind out of your sails and mess up the pun.




It's a bit sad and a bit funny.


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Kiva! Microfinance works.

Med/Coarse, porous curly.
Yes, pls post!
No MAS.

I am the new Black.

"Hope the Mail are saving space tomorrow for Samantha Brick's reaction piece on the reactions to her piece about the reactions to her piece." ~ Tweet reposted by Rou.

http://www.youtube.com/user/Kimshi4242

http://www.tumblr.com/blog/kimshi4242
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 15,533
No problem, RCC.

I'm just worried about CIBC.
Banned
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 41,043
Regis was on The View and said that he thought Harry Connick Jr would be a great replacement for him....well, he agreed when Joy or someone brought it up when he asked the ladies.......
Please check in with us!
When I grow up, I wanna be a Jiujitsu Turtle!

My british name, courtesy of Ninja Dog Shade Haven-Staffordshire: TRBL Hough Jewelstone Turtleneck

Its chaos a few hairs at a time. ~Minxy
Thank you, thank you for your concern, everybody.

I'm keeping a low profile now, online and in real life, because I'm kinda at an all-time low. I'm doing my best and exploring options but I just feel flat-out hopeless and beaten-up at this point, in every area of my life (not just the job.) It just feels like nothing is going to get better, no matter how hard I try or how positively I try to think...I just end-up more disappointed.

I signed-up for a self-help class that meets Saturday mornings and there's another one day workshop about letting go of the past that I'll probably go to. I'm trying to find more places to volunteer at and a part-time job.

Just really struggling...I feel like everyone else is moving-on but me and it makes me wonder what exactly is so wrong with me.

Thanks again, and I'll check in with any major updates.
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 15,533
We'll be here for you when you're ready.
CIBC - you sound like you are doing very good things for yourself despite it being a really low time for you. I give you a lot of credit for looking into volunteering and considering part-time work. Some people (me included at other times in my life) would just curl up and nurse the pain in one way or another.

Things will get better for you. I really believe that. I'm glad Ninja called out to you and hope you check in often.

{{{CIBC}}}
2/c and some 3A. Modified CG.
Protein sensitive
Highly porous. Color over grey.
Best 1st day method: Super Soaker
Conditioners: Curl Junkie Beauticurls Strengthening Conditioner,
Deep condish: Curl Junkie Curl Rehab
Stylers: Mix Curls in a Bottle into everything for shine. Terrible pj
Sometimes try roller sets - classic glamor but I prefer my curls.
Every day is a gift
CIBC - you sound like you are doing very good things for yourself despite it being a really low time for you. I give you a lot of credit for looking into volunteering and considering part-time work. Some people (me included at other times in my life) would just curl up and nurse the pain in one way or another.

Things will get better for you. I really believe that. I'm glad Ninja called out to you and hope you check in often.

{{{CIBC}}}
Originally Posted by curlypearl
Ditto! Hugs to you.
CanItBeChristine likes this.
3B corkscrews with scatterings of 3A & 3C.
So, I went to that self-help/positive thinking class yesterday and I REALLY enjoyed it and felt like it helped a lot! Some of it was a little loopy/wanted to make fun of it, but for the most part, it was a great experience and I am going to go as often as I can. (They meet every Saturday.)

And two people complimented my hair there...good sign!!

This morning, I went to a meeting of a local women's social group I found on MeetUp.org and had a lovely brunch. I was probably the youngest one there by 10 years or so, but it was a very nice bunch of women and the conversations were flowing. I felt very welcome and accepted.

My mom's situation is pretty bad. She's really, really draining me. I feel like it's mostly falling on my shoulders and nobody else gets it because I'm the one dealing with it(I've been big time venting to one of my cousins all week because it helps having somebody who knows her/knows my family to talk to.) Her relationship drama and depression have just gotten worse and worse since the spring. There's only so much I can do for her.

I'm still so attached to this stupid house and hate the thought of her selling it, but she's going to, so I just have to accept it and realize that change can sometimes be really healthy. I'm sure once it's over, I'll feel fine.
WileESteelNervs likes this.
My mom's situation is pretty bad. She's really, really draining me. I feel like it's mostly falling on my shoulders and nobody else gets it because I'm the one dealing with it(I've been big time venting to one of my cousins all week because it helps having somebody who knows her/knows my family to talk to.) Her relationship drama and depression have just gotten worse and worse since the spring. There's only so much I can do for her.

I'm still so attached to this stupid house and hate the thought of her selling it, but she's going to, so I just have to accept it and realize that change can sometimes be really healthy. I'm sure once it's over, I'll feel fine.
Originally Posted by CanItBeChristine
good deal on your session!

regarding what you posted above, is your mom talking to a counselor? i apologize if you've mentioned this and i missed it. i know everything that happened with her ltr that ended is hard on her but you just can't take it on. she needs to talk to someone and you need to set boundaries and lovingly let your mom know that you're hurt that she's hurting but you really think she needs to talk to a professional.

my mother can get really blue and it's worse for me if i have my own stuff going on. it's hard enough carrying your own drama / disappointments. it's unfair to have to take on a parents, especially when it lasts for a prolonged period of time. protect your mental health at all costs. i like that you're taking ACTION to feel better. many people don't take action and stay stuck, forever. there's a saying "trouble don't last always"...hang in there!!
a dreamy pisces
please recycle, it matters...
i change lives...through fitness
i'm more relaxed being natural
So glad you're connecting with new people. It's so important to keep the good energy coming. Best to you, CIBC.
My mom's situation is pretty bad. She's really, really draining me. I feel like it's mostly falling on my shoulders and nobody else gets it because I'm the one dealing with it(I've been big time venting to one of my cousins all week because it helps having somebody who knows her/knows my family to talk to.) Her relationship drama and depression have just gotten worse and worse since the spring. There's only so much I can do for her.

I'm still so attached to this stupid house and hate the thought of her selling it, but she's going to, so I just have to accept it and realize that change can sometimes be really healthy. I'm sure once it's over, I'll feel fine.
Originally Posted by CanItBeChristine
good deal on your session!

regarding what you posted above, is your mom talking to a counselor? i apologize if you've mentioned this and i missed it. i know everything that happened with her ltr that ended is hard on her but you just can't take it on. she needs to talk to someone and you need to set boundaries and lovingly let your mom know that you're hurt that she's hurting but you really think she needs to talk to a professional.

my mother can get really blue and it's worse for me if i have my own stuff going on. it's hard enough carrying your own drama / disappointments. it's unfair to have to take on a parents, especially when it lasts for a prolonged period of time. protect your mental health at all costs. i like that you're taking ACTION to feel better. many people don't take action and stay stuck, forever. there's a saying "trouble don't last always"...hang in there!!
Originally Posted by luvmylocs
She has a therapist (that she says she doesn't need to go to) and refuses all kinds of medication (she doesn't believe in them.)

My mom's attitude towards me is, "My problems are WAY bigger than yours and instead of being down about your own issues, you should be supporting me." She'll bring-up, "Remember when you went away to college and were unhappy and used to call me crying and I'd listen to you?" (Twelve years ago...............................)

My family thinks I don't have a care in the world because I'm not supporting a household. That's not fair.

She's in AWFUL shape this week because she officially told the boyfriend, "It's completely over" after going back-and-forth since April. I have such a headache from all of this. Right now, she's been in bed all day after SOBBING uncontrollably and being completely drunk last night. All she does is cry poverty, but she makes no intention on getting a job, and she still manages to find the energy to criticize my every move (like, the shade of eye liner I'm wearing).

I feel like even if I have good news, I can't share it with her because she just starts moaning and groaning about how horrible her life is.

I was in a GREAT mood this weekend after doing those two things! I really felt like I was taking initiative and being positive.

But, oh no. We have to be really depressed and cry and not get out of bed around here.

My sister isn't helping much. She'll be on the phone with my mom, my mom will be acting all sad, and I'll hear my sister grill my mother if I was around 24/7 and if my mom says something like, "She's going to lunch or the movies or whatever with a friend" my sister starts grilling her further, "Did she invite YOU along too?" I'm sorry, this SHOULD NOT all fall onto my shoulders because I'm the single one without a family. I have my own issues and it's really hard going through this without the slightest support from my mother.
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 15,533
I like you, Christine, but I'm going to say something harsh (again). I don't want to upset you --- I want you to save yourself.

Your family are like vampires. Please move away for a while.
I completely agree with Ninja. If there is somewhere, anywhere you can go, that is away from them, you really really need to.

(and I know how hard advice like that is.. for me I've been told I should quit my job because I have to deal with this bully everyday, but there are so many other things that affect that decision, that it is not something I can do, but I know I really need to. I'm sorry, I'm rambling, but I want to help you, really I do)
When I grow up, I wanna be a Jiujitsu Turtle!

My british name, courtesy of Ninja Dog Shade Haven-Staffordshire: TRBL Hough Jewelstone Turtleneck

Its chaos a few hairs at a time. ~Minxy

Last edited by TRBL; 11-21-2011 at 01:40 PM.
There really isn't anywhere I can go...all my friends are either in tiny studios or have several roommates or even if they have space, have an animal I couldn't live with. (I honestly wouldn't be able to function around a dog or cat I'm allergic to.) If I went to a relative's house, it would make the situation worse (believe me.)

HOWEVER...I had a major epiphany yesterday.

Now, it was no secret to anybody that I took the loss of my job last year extremely extremely extremely badly. Probably much worse than ANYBODY should ever take the loss of a job, especially one that paid below the NY poverty line that included euthanizing dogs, and I am sure people thought I was being kinda psycho and dramatic but I really can't explain what a number it all did on me. I had already lost two jobs before that one and I LOVED so many aspects of that job (behind behind the scenes as a new show came to life, all the exciting events and celebrities, feeling appreciated by all the random people I helped.) When that was taken away from me, it HURT.

However, my relationship with my boss? Not healthy. Not healthy at ALL. Not something anybody should ever have to endure in an office setting. I also do have some very classic "my father died when I was a kid" male abandonment issues, so I also took the loss as yet another man in my life abandoning me because even if he was a bad man, he was still a man who was in my life for a while.

Today in Positive Thinking Class, we talked about forgiveness and not holding grudges and how you're only hurting yourself (yes, we all know that.)

The instructor said that no healthy person will ever attract unhealthy people into her life.

And I got to thinking...

I lost my job right after my own first big NYC show premiered, when I had never felt better about myself. I seriously felt like I was on top of the world and that I was going to be hugely successful. I had so many people come-out and support me and I felt so loved, and for the first time in my life, I felt SO confidant. (Confidence has always been my #1 struggle.)

And then I lost my job and I took it that I had to feel horrible about myself and feel like a loser.

BUT!

I realized, listening to the instructor, that I was basically telling the universe that I finally felt so great about myself and had no room in my life for unhealthy, abusive people because I deserved infinitely better, and that's why the universe took my job/boss away from me.

I seriously wish I had realized that a year ago because it would have saved me a ton of depression and stress............................................ ..........................

I feel a lot better and I feel like this all actually makes a lot of sense now. I know some of you are probably going, "No kidding, that's exactly what I told you a year ago" but maybe it took signing-up for Positive Thinking Class to make it all sink in.

For 2012, I am asking the Universe for several productions of new plays and for Jake Gyllenhaal.
WileESteelNervs and Amneris like this.

Last edited by CanItBeChristine; 11-27-2011 at 06:23 PM.

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