Halle Berry Engaged

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For that matter, neither did I. I said that a lot of people consider it oppressive language, as they do those other terms. I'd say something about this whole refusal to even consider the merit of such words, but what's the point? It's a waste and an exercise in frustration.
Layali and Amneris like this.
But here's what I need you to understand...whether you agree with it or not: Saying someone is "crazy" doesn't mean you're making fun of them, making light of their serious situation, or implying that they're worthless, less-than or horrible people. That's the bottom line.
We agree to disagree on this point. "Crazy," "Whackadoodle," and "nut job" are value judgements.

I understand that people with mental illnesses have issues with being called crazy. That's another hurdle to overcome....and it must be overcome. Life is like that, and people aren't obligated to pave your road with "easy" or "easier", for that matter. When you're sick, you have to get well, regardless of how others see you while you're ill. That's painful, but it's the truth..straight with no chaser. Along the way, there will be people who will be sensitive to your condition, but there will be people who won't.
I would hope we aspire to a higher standard than this. You never know when you or someone you love will face a serious illness. Mental, emotional, and physical health are not guaranteed for anyone. Personally, I don’t believe compassion is difficult in concept or practice.



Not intended as a jab. Apologies if you took it that way. Like you said:
People make all kinds of comments, that can be taken to heart, and cause discomfort for others. It's happened here too many times to say. Everybody has their own sensitivities, but quite frankly, one is no more important than another. This is a message board.
But, IN MY OPINION, comparing being called "crazy" to "using the N word" was a big stretch. Nuff on that.
NEVER. SAID. THAT. OR. EVEN. IMPLIED. IT. Don’t put words in mouth.

You’re right this is a message board—NO ONE should be surprised if their views are challenged. (Pssst, that goes for you, too)

I’m not going to apologize for “getting deep with it” or not “lightening up.” Obviously, mental health is an issue I take interest in and I’ll speak up whenever I feel it is appropriate.

For what’s it’s worth, I thought this was an interesting discussion.

Have a great night.


***Apologies to the original poster for derailing her thread.
Originally Posted by Layali
Well, don't put words in my mouth...nobody asked you to apologize. I told you several times I respected your opinion...you kept going on and on...like you couldn't accept that a FEW folks disagreed with you, or like we somehow were too "dull" or lacked common sense to understand your viewpoint. If your purpose was not to direct the speech of others, when it was made clear that you were heard, what was the point of reiterating that which was already explained?

As far as the "N word" comparison...nope it wasn't you, my bad. It was Saria, who did a lot of explaining for you...and I got confused regarding who said what. Sorry about that. You "liked" the post, which indicates agreement with what was said.

The whole "it's oppressive, just like the N word" was the quote, am I right? Okay I don't compare the two. Here's the quote

Yes, ableism is taken as a legitimate social problem and "crazy" is seen as on par as words like "whore", "slut", "***" or the n-word in that it's seen as oppressive language towards people with mental illnesses.
First off, I don't find "whore" or "slut" "oppressive language", but then I'm not a hardcore feminist. I judge men the same as women, and "slut" is an equal opportunity word, that has nothing to do with gender. I'm assuming that you mean it's oppressive language regarding women. Cuz men sure ain't oppressed by it.

I don't even include any of those words with the "N word". Sorry, I don't.

Now, you can be as sensitive as you want. The rest of what I said, there's no need to explain it. I just wanted to address the misquote on my end.

You have good night, as well.
AmberBrown likes this.
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Just to chime in, I do see how the word crazy is offensive as the word ni***, slut, whore, bi***, girl etc. But I'm not opposed to using those words(moreso other people using them) in certain contexts (when it's obvious the person is not a racist, sexist, etc). Some are offended no matter who uses it or if it was a joke and I understand why but then the same people don't understand that some of us are just not that sensitive to it. I won't be so ignorant as to use certain words in front of people who will get offended and I care about. On a message board though..good luck. I do hold back a lot here since it is quite a sensitive group. But please don't tell me I don't understand.. I truly do. But some of you don't understand that it doesn't mean the same thing to me and it's not always my concern that someone is going to be sensitive about it.
Ninjarette likes this.
It's not a burden to pack something besides pb&j. Trust me. My child ate PB&J on whole wheat for lunch almost every day of her life from the time she was old enough to eat food till she started K. She is in the only peanut free classroom (the cafeteria has a system for keeping kids separated and the lunches are peanut free. Also, there is plenty of warning if the meal will contain pork and an alternative is offered on those days) so we didn't find out till right before school started that PB&J was off the menu for her.

This is tricky because she can't really do school lunch. She uses a walker and can't navigate a tray AND a walker. The school will accommodate but their idea is to assign a "lunch buddy" - another kid who brings lunch to carry her tray for her. They will all fight over whose turn it is for about three days and then they will be resentful so I pack her lunch.

THE SCHOOL has worked out a policy on peanuts. I'm friends with three of the four peanut-allergic kids in her class. They don't ask for accommodations, the school tells them how to handle it, and that includes having epi pens at school and making sure the kids know what to do with them (and adults).

No, they can't eliminate peanuts from the planet but that doesn't mean they shouldn't do anything.

And you have no idea what you'll do when you have kids. I know you hate hearing it, I hated hearing it but you just don't know till you have them.
Originally Posted by CGNYC
Not only are we not on the same page, we're not even in the same book. And that's your choice. I do believe that it's unfair for a child not to be able to eat what she wants at lunch because of another child. What if she's in a PB&J only mode for a few weeks? I don't have kids, but I've certainly worked with a few little ones who are extremely finicky eaters. Should they just starve? Or should we force bologna down their throats as they scream?

But much more to my point is the fact that parents of allergic kids should DEFINITELY not be allowed to regulate what non-allergic kids eat at home, after school, etc. And the fact is, some allergic kids are endangered by what their classmates do outside the classroom. So what to do? Ban the food from everybody? Or allot funding for the allergic kids to be schooled somewhere else?

Your bit about a person having "no idea" what they'll do with kids before they have them is ludicrous. But I didn't hate hearing you say it *shrug*. It's a common comeback that parents say often.
If you really think one picky kids wants come before another child's right to an education then there is no point in discussing this with you.
If you really think one picky kids wants come before another child's right to an education then there is no point in discussing this with you.
Originally Posted by CGNYC
Yep. I get both sides of the argument, and I'm not a parent, but when you actually try to argue that somebody think of the poor, picky children, I have nothing but side-eye. Allergies aren't a choice. The poor, precious, picky child chooses not to eat anything else.
Amneris likes this.
If you really think one picky kids wants come before another child's right to an education then there is no point in discussing this with you.
Originally Posted by CGNYC
And if you insist on selectively reading there's no point in discussing anything with you.
I totally agree that if you have a child with an allergy, you obviously have to prepare to look out for themselves. Schools require kids with allergies have epi pens and parents DO teach them what they and can not eat. I have yet to meet a parent of a child with a REAL allergy who hasn't prepared their child.

Schools should be moving towards MORE inclusiveness, not less. If you think schools have the funds for a totally separate facility for allergy kids, you have not taking a hard look at public (or private) schools lately. It's not THAT hard to include most children in mainstream education. Being slightly inconvenienced because one food is off the menu is nothing. It's NOTHING.

So congratulations and best wishes Halle Berry. Third time's the charm and all that.
If you really think one picky kids wants come before another child's right to an education then there is no point in discussing this with you.
Originally Posted by CGNYC
And if you insist on selectively reading there's no point in discussing anything with you.
Originally Posted by AmberBrown
I do believe that it's unfair for a child not to be able to eat what she wants at lunch because of another child. What if she's in a PB&J only mode for a few weeks? I don't have kids, but I've certainly worked with a few little ones who are extremely finicky eaters. Should they just starve? Or should we force bologna down their throats as they scream?
Well there are your exact words.

Sometimes my daughter gets in picky mode and only wants one thing for lunch. Sometimes I am out of that thing. She can eat lunch or be hungry. It's one day. I don't cater to picky and no one ever died from skipping lunch.
If you really think one picky kids wants come before another child's right to an education then there is no point in discussing this with you.
Originally Posted by CGNYC
Yep. I get both sides of the argument, and I'm not a parent, but when you actually try to argue that somebody think of the poor, picky children, I have nothing but side-eye. Allergies aren't a choice. The poor, precious, picky child chooses not to eat anything else.
Originally Posted by Saria
Exactly. And as someone who was the pickiest of picky when I was a kid, and who ate peanut butter sandwiches most days, there were probably plenty of other things I could have eaten if peanuts were banned. This argument sort of reminds me of the people who insist on cooking fish or popcorn in the microwave at work. Despite the signs that tell people not to do this, there will always be the ones that do it anyway because it's their "right." Why not just try to be nice every now and then? I'm not saying you can't complain loudly at home (or on a message board) about how they won't let you eat microwave popcorn (or peanut butter sandwiches), but just go along for once.
Your opinion on the above has been quite clear for awhile, thanks. I think you're wrong, but in the grand scheme of things, I'm much more interested in how you think schools should handle students who may have reactions in school sparked by peanut butter that students eat outside of school. I've made that pretty clear.

Because you're ignoring what I've alluded to, and outright named, as my main point...it's kind of hard to take you seriously or have a "real" discussion with you.
I totally agree that if you have a child with an allergy, you obviously have to prepare to look out for themselves. Schools require kids with allergies have epi pens and parents DO teach them what they and can not eat. I have yet to meet a parent of a child with a REAL allergy who hasn't prepared their child.

Schools should be moving towards MORE inclusiveness, not less. If you think schools have the funds for a totally separate facility for allergy kids, you have not taking a hard look at public (or private) schools lately. It's not THAT hard to include most children in mainstream education. Being slightly inconvenienced because one food is off the menu is nothing. It's NOTHING.

So congratulations and best wishes Halle Berry. Third time's the charm and all that.
Originally Posted by CGNYC
To go along with your comment about preparing your child... My brother in law asked my 3-yr old today if he wanted a bite of his cupcake to test him. My lil guy said "no, it has soy and I'm allergic to soy." Now most likely it would be the egg or dairy in the cupcake unless maybe the icing had soy or soybean oil, but my man can recite all of his allergies at 3 and knows which foods most likely would be dangerous for him. He will be epi pen proficient by 5! I'm so proud! Lol

On my EVO
It's not a burden to pack something besides pb&j. Trust me. My child ate PB&J on whole wheat for lunch almost every day of her life from the time she was old enough to eat food till she started K. She is in the only peanut free classroom (the cafeteria has a system for keeping kids separated and the lunches are peanut free. Also, there is plenty of warning if the meal will contain pork and an alternative is offered on those days) so we didn't find out till right before school started that PB&J was off the menu for her.

This is tricky because she can't really do school lunch. She uses a walker and can't navigate a tray AND a walker. The school will accommodate but their idea is to assign a "lunch buddy" - another kid who brings lunch to carry her tray for her. They will all fight over whose turn it is for about three days and then they will be resentful so I pack her lunch.

THE SCHOOL has worked out a policy on peanuts. I'm friends with three of the four peanut-allergic kids in her class. They don't ask for accommodations, the school tells them how to handle it, and that includes having epi pens at school and making sure the kids know what to do with them (and adults).

No, they can't eliminate peanuts from the planet but that doesn't mean they shouldn't do anything.

And you have no idea what you'll do when you have kids. I know you hate hearing it, I hated hearing it but you just don't know till you have them.
Originally Posted by CGNYC
Not only are we not on the same page, we're not even in the same book. And that's your choice. I do believe that it's unfair for a child not to be able to eat what she wants at lunch because of another child. What if she's in a PB&J only mode for a few weeks? I don't have kids, but I've certainly worked with a few little ones who are extremely finicky eaters. Should they just starve? Or should we force bologna down their throats as they scream?

But much more to my point is the fact that parents of allergic kids should DEFINITELY not be allowed to regulate what non-allergic kids eat at home, after school, etc. And the fact is, some allergic kids are endangered by what their classmates do outside the classroom. So what to do? Ban the food from everybody? Or allot funding for the allergic kids to be schooled somewhere else?

Your bit about a person having "no idea" what they'll do with kids before they have them is ludicrous. But I didn't hate hearing you say it *shrug*. It's a common comeback that parents say often.
Originally Posted by AmberBrown
Your opinion on the above has been quite clear for awhile, thanks. I think you're wrong, but in the grand scheme of things, I'm much more interested in how you think schools should handle students who may have reactions in school sparked by peanut butter that students eat outside of school. I've made that pretty clear.

Because you're ignoring what I've alluded to, and outright named, as my main point...it's kind of hard to take you seriously or have a "real" discussion with you.
Originally Posted by AmberBrown
She actually IS addressing your main point. Your point is that allergic kids should not dictate what the non-allergic kids can't eat. Your supporting argument is that there are picky kids and that pickiness takes precedence over an allergy.

CGNYC disagrees with you and she has explained why.
CGNYC likes this.
This thread is so far gone. It's so badly derailed I don't think it'll ever get back to topic.

But I'd like to thank everyone who's participated in the peanut allergy discussion. I didn't realize there were people who felt so strongly about PB. jk...sort of. And that just strengthens my resolve to home school my child if there's even a hint of danger at his school.

On my EVO
Your opinion on the above has been quite clear for awhile, thanks. I think you're wrong, but in the grand scheme of things, I'm much more interested in how you think schools should handle students who may have reactions in school sparked by peanut butter that students eat outside of school. I've made that pretty clear.

Because you're ignoring what I've alluded to, and outright named, as my main point...it's kind of hard to take you seriously or have a "real" discussion with you.
Originally Posted by AmberBrown
Is that even a real question? Obviously schools can't can't do anything about students eating peanuts outside of school. That would be stupid. They also can't eliminate hand guns outside of schools, that doesn't mean we let kids carry them in their backpacks.
curlyarca and scrills like this.
Your opinion on the above has been quite clear for awhile, thanks. I think you're wrong, but in the grand scheme of things, I'm much more interested in how you think schools should handle students who may have reactions in school sparked by peanut butter that students eat outside of school. I've made that pretty clear.

Because you're ignoring what I've alluded to, and outright named, as my main point...it's kind of hard to take you seriously or have a "real" discussion with you.
Originally Posted by AmberBrown
Is that even a real question? Obviously schools can't can't do anything about students eating peanuts outside of school. That would be stupid. They also can't eliminate hand guns outside of schools, that doesn't mean we let kids carry them in their backpacks.
Originally Posted by CGNYC
There you go infringing on my (hypothetical) kids' rights to bear arms.
CGNYC, curlyarca, scrills and 2 others like this.
Your opinion on the above has been quite clear for awhile, thanks. I think you're wrong, but in the grand scheme of things, I'm much more interested in how you think schools should handle students who may have reactions in school sparked by peanut butter that students eat outside of school. I've made that pretty clear.

Because you're ignoring what I've alluded to, and outright named, as my main point...it's kind of hard to take you seriously or have a "real" discussion with you.
Originally Posted by AmberBrown
Is that even a real question? Obviously schools can't can't do anything about students eating peanuts outside of school. That would be stupid. They also can't eliminate hand guns outside of schools, that doesn't mean we let kids carry them in their backpacks.
Originally Posted by CGNYC
I actually thought of the same analogy but didn't say it bc I figured all the 2nd amendment folks would come out about how these school policies violate their kids rights to bear arms and so forth. Lol

On my EVO
not to mention that there are alternatives to "Peanut" butter.
It's not a burden to pack something besides pb&j. Trust me. My child ate PB&J on whole wheat for lunch almost every day of her life from the time she was old enough to eat food till she started K. She is in the only peanut free classroom (the cafeteria has a system for keeping kids separated and the lunches are peanut free. Also, there is plenty of warning if the meal will contain pork and an alternative is offered on those days) so we didn't find out till right before school started that PB&J was off the menu for her.

This is tricky because she can't really do school lunch. She uses a walker and can't navigate a tray AND a walker. The school will accommodate but their idea is to assign a "lunch buddy" - another kid who brings lunch to carry her tray for her. They will all fight over whose turn it is for about three days and then they will be resentful so I pack her lunch.

THE SCHOOL has worked out a policy on peanuts. I'm friends with three of the four peanut-allergic kids in her class. They don't ask for accommodations, the school tells them how to handle it, and that includes having epi pens at school and making sure the kids know what to do with them (and adults).

No, they can't eliminate peanuts from the planet but that doesn't mean they shouldn't do anything.

And you have no idea what you'll do when you have kids. I know you hate hearing it, I hated hearing it but you just don't know till you have them.
Originally Posted by CGNYC
Not only are we not on the same page, we're not even in the same book. And that's your choice. I do believe that it's unfair for a child not to be able to eat what she wants at lunch because of another child. What if she's in a PB&J only mode for a few weeks? I don't have kids, but I've certainly worked with a few little ones who are extremely finicky eaters. Should they just starve? Or should we force bologna down their throats as they scream?

But much more to my point is the fact that parents of allergic kids should DEFINITELY not be allowed to regulate what non-allergic kids eat at home, after school, etc. And the fact is, some allergic kids are endangered by what their classmates do outside the classroom. So what to do? Ban the food from everybody? Or allot funding for the allergic kids to be schooled somewhere else?

Your bit about a person having "no idea" what they'll do with kids before they have them is ludicrous. But I didn't hate hearing you say it *shrug*. It's a common comeback that parents say often.
Originally Posted by AmberBrown
Your opinion on the above has been quite clear for awhile, thanks. I think you're wrong, but in the grand scheme of things, I'm much more interested in how you think schools should handle students who may have reactions in school sparked by peanut butter that students eat outside of school. I've made that pretty clear.

Because you're ignoring what I've alluded to, and outright named, as my main point...it's kind of hard to take you seriously or have a "real" discussion with you.
Originally Posted by AmberBrown
She actually IS addressing your main point. Your point is that allergic kids should not dictate what the non-allergic kids can't eat. Your supporting argument is that there are picky kids and that pickiness takes precedence over an allergy.

CGNYC disagrees with you and she has explained why.
Originally Posted by mrspoppers

Nope. My main point is that, realistically, it's impossible (and if it was possible, it would still be silly to do) to eliminate nuts from public environments on a scale that would totally prevent allergic reactions in kids with severe allergies. Again, what if a kid has peanut butter for breakfast, doesn't wash her hands thoroughly and goes off to play with her severely allergic classmate. I've been told that some people are so sensitive that such contact could lead to death or near death. I think it's totally unfair for that type of burden or to be placed upon anyone that isn't the allergic kids parent, but it's especially unfair to little kids.

CGNYC doesn't have to explain why (or even if) she disagrees with that. Which is great, because she hasn't.
But wait.. I thought peanuts were in the legume family!? Not nuts. I've gotta go look that up.

eta Ok, not crazy, they are legumes. Oh crap, I just used the "c" word. My bad. Sorry. Oops. I REALLY don't wanna get in THAT fight!

On my EVO
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Last edited by Kilajo; 01-13-2012 at 11:07 AM.

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