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Old 01-14-2012, 12:17 PM   #1
 
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Default How to combat inarticulateness?

The vocabulary is beyond adequate; it just seems to be intermittently inaccessible during oral communication, and it's not always the $100 words. Sometimes I simply cannot express myself, regardless of how simple the words, sentiment, concept, etc. Some of it is nerves and is situational and to be expected, but not the degree to which I suffer. Often, I find myself "rehearsing" things I'm going to say, words I'm going to use, and points I'm going to make; however, clearly, that won't suffice for spontaneous conversations or conversations of any significant length. This has a profound effect on my self-confidence, which is crucial when I'm interviewing for an important position...as was the case yesterday.

Suggestions? Speech therapy is likely not an option at this time.
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Last edited by Honeycurls; 01-14-2012 at 12:31 PM. Reason: 'Cuz sometimes I type inarticulately as well!
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Old 01-14-2012, 12:24 PM   #2
 
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You're an INTJ/P, I take it?

I have the same problem.

I don't have the answer though...Maybe others will be able to help us!
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Old 01-14-2012, 12:32 PM   #3
 
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Since I'm not familiar with that, I guess not?
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Old 01-14-2012, 12:39 PM   #4
 
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So, wow, after some quick research, I guess I am INTJ. Haven't found what the "P" is yet, though.

Strange to see so many of your characteristics listed in written form like a recipe for your psyche. Thanks for the unintentional tip! I'll have to do more in-depth reading when I have time.
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Old 01-14-2012, 12:44 PM   #5
 
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I tend to be too wordy and the meaning of what I am trying to say gets lost because I go round and round in circles. Hmmm...rephrase: I say too much and my main point is lost in too many words.
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Old 01-14-2012, 12:56 PM   #6
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BeckStar View Post
I tend to be too wordy and the meaning of what I am trying to say gets lost because I go round and round in circles. Hmmm...rephrase: I say too much and my main point is lost in too many words.
Yes, that's the other side of my verbal communication coin--talking a lot to compensate and ultimately saying nothing.
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Old 01-14-2012, 12:57 PM   #7
 
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I'm afraid I have nothing constructive to contribute, but I suffer from the same problem.

Oddly enough, I do have to say that, when I wear my eyeglasses, I tend to suffer less from this problem!
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Old 01-14-2012, 01:03 PM   #8
 
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The support that comes from sharing is very constructive! Just knowing that others also struggle with this--others who seem to be very articulate in written communication--is somewhat comforting. Not that I'm glad you suffer with this affliction as well, but I know you know what I mean!

I'll have to try the glasses trick...why not? Can't hurt! I usually only wear my glasses when driving or traveling in a car.
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Old 01-14-2012, 01:07 PM   #9
 
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It becomes easier if you have a good friend that you can talk to who will honestly tell you when you're not making any sense or rambling too much. But be forewarned though if you have sensitive feelings, it can feel like harsh critizism at first but it really does make it easier and easier to achieve clarity in communicating your thoughts and feelings.
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Old 01-14-2012, 01:16 PM   #10
 
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Half a valium or a stiff drink is my cure for my version of the affliction. I'm usually OK in small settings, but with groups, or with someone who intimidates me, I have much trouble finding the right words. Verbally, that is. (I have no trouble when writing.)
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Old 01-14-2012, 01:23 PM   #11
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BeckStar View Post
It becomes easier if you have a good friend that you can talk to who will honestly tell you when you're not making any sense or rambling too much. But be forewarned though if you have sensitive feelings, it can feel like harsh critizism at first but it really does make it easier and easier to achieve clarity in communicating your thoughts and feelings.
LOL, oh, believe me...I know when I'm rambling disconnectedly, because I'm unable to connect my own thoughts and points, so if *I* no longer understand what I'm saying, surely no one else does either! I go into a situation knowing it's going to happen--which I'm sure further exacerbates the problem.

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Half a valium or a stiff drink is my cure for my version of the affliction. I'm usually OK in small settings, but with groups, or with someone who intimidates me, I have much trouble finding the right words. Verbally, that is. (I have no trouble when writing.)
If I thought they couldn't smell the booze on my breath I might try that! And, unfortunately, valium has never had much effect on me--which I had to discover the hard way. But, yes, your description mirrors my own situation almost exactly.
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Old 01-14-2012, 01:35 PM   #12
 
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Like Rubber Biscuit, I don't have any suggestions for you, but I also suffer from the same problem. And, like RedCatWaves, I find that a glass of wine or other alcoholic drink usually helps (but, unfortunately, is not appropriate in most professional situations).

I had an interview a couple of weeks ago that I thought I had bombed for precisely this reason, but they actually have called me back for a second interview. So sometimes you're not sounding as inarticulate as you think you are! However, if you think this is an issue that could be preventing you from landing a good job, what about looking into jobs/careers that emphasize written communication over verbal? Journalism, or something like that?

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You're an INTJ/P, I take it?

I have the same problem.

I don't have the answer though...Maybe others will be able to help us!
This is too funny! I actually am an INTJ/P! (I seem to be between J and P). I never thought about this problem being related to my personality type. Makes sense, though.
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Old 01-14-2012, 01:47 PM   #13
 
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Yeah, it's a common "I" problem. We're more comfortable alone or, at least, we find being among people draining. I think it's something you can retrain yourself out of, like a stutter.
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Old 01-14-2012, 01:49 PM   #14
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ursula View Post
Like Rubber Biscuit, I don't have any suggestions for you, but I also suffer from the same problem. And, like RedCatWaves, I find that a glass of wine or other alcoholic drink usually helps (but, unfortunately, is not appropriate in most professional situations).

I had an interview a couple of weeks ago that I thought I had bombed for precisely this reason, but they actually have called me back for a second interview. So sometimes you're not sounding as inarticulate as you think you are! However, if you think this is an issue that could be preventing you from landing a good job, what about looking into jobs/careers that emphasize written communication over verbal? Journalism, or something like that?

Quote:
Originally Posted by PhoenixThNuBlak View Post
You're an INTJ/P, I take it?

I have the same problem.

I don't have the answer though...Maybe others will be able to help us!
This is too funny! I actually am an INTJ/P! (I seem to be between J and P). I never thought about this problem being related to my personality type. Makes sense, though.
Thanks, ursula. In this particular instance, I believe I'll still get the job, as long as whatever unseen enemy I've been battling all along in my job search doesn't rear its ugly head again. There was only one obvious awkward moment where I couldn't find the word "confidence." Otherwise, I believe I bluffed my way through fairly well.

I'm actually far more suited for a career in writing, I think, but at this time, I have to work with what I've got, which is a degree and experience in the medical field. If I don't get this job, however, I am going to have to quickly rethink my strategy and look at going back to school, so maybe....
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Old 01-14-2012, 01:50 PM   #15
 
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Do you read a lot? Is there a character with whom you identify? Maybe putting yourself in that (articulate) character's shoes when you're in a challenging situation would help.
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Old 01-14-2012, 01:51 PM   #16
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PhoenixThNuBlak View Post
Yeah, it's a common "I" problem. We're more comfortable alone or, at least, we find being among people draining. I think it's something you can retrain yourself out of, like a stutter.
THIS!!!! YES!!! I used to come home from work completely emotionally and physically drained, and it had nothing to do with physical exertion during the day.

So, what's the "P" stand for?
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Old 01-14-2012, 02:09 PM   #17
 
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^^^Perceptive/perception

This one was hard for me to understand. Basically it translates to decisive (J) vs. indecisive (P) for me.
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Old 01-14-2012, 03:38 PM   #18
 
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I have the same problem. Medication for social anxiety has helped, as has taking the Dale Carnegie course. Dale Carnegie helped because if gave me a controlled, safe environment to practice my communication skills.

For interviews specifically, I write down answers to all the common interview questions and practice saying them out loud. I hired an interview coach, which was well worth the $200.
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Old 01-14-2012, 04:02 PM   #19
 
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Maybe try Toastmasters? It's a great way to work on the problem and build an incredible network of friends.

Toastmasters International - Home
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Old 01-14-2012, 04:14 PM   #20
 
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You could join a social club that specializes in networking, or in speaking, like toastmasters.
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