Greentastic!

It's reassuring but also so, so sad to me to know how many other people deal with these issues. How on earth can emotional pains not be viewed and treated the same as physical pains? Sigh.

I dealt with severe depression a few years ago after my stepdad died. It had me basically out for the count for about a year, but I've been well for about two and a half years now. My bad days now are in the range of normal bad days, although I try to be active in doing what I need to do. I tried to be the strong one after he died. I didn't cry or talk about it, but shut it out. I had a lot of guilt. Slowly, it was like a cold, black hand squeezed me and completely took me over.

I thought that no one knew how bad I was. My now-fiance and I were long distance at the time, and at one point he sat me down and cried and told me how horrible it was to see me like this, how hard it was, how much he loved me and wanted to help me, and that I needed to fight. It took that talk for me to realize how bad I was and see how much it hurt him, and get some help. It was a long and bumpy road, but I made it.

I HATED the idea of medicine, but it was absolutely necessary and life saving for me. Talk therapy cured me, but the medicine allowed me to receive that help. My mind wasn't working right - I was stuck in my destructive patterns of thought, and the medicine was necessary for me to start reversing that. I had a pretty incompetent therapist for a while. Again it was my fiance who convinced me that a therapist isn't an expert and to not stagnate with a bad one. For months after that I saw numerous therapists, hardly ever the same one. I found a women's center that I liked and I set up a few appointments a week with whoever was free. After doing nothing but listening to my old therapist (seriously, I hardly got a word in edgewise), I decided that I was going to be the one talking and not depend on them for advice. So I talked and cried and went as often as I could. I read a ton of self-help books. And for really the first time, I tried to let in the people in my life too, to let myself be vulnerable and accept compassion. It was like a dam broke. It hurt to let it all out, but slowly I got better. Not long after that I was also diagnosed as hypothyroid, and depression is a classic symtom. Treating my hypo helped a ton with my depression.

Anyway, to the extent that it's helpful, there's my story. (Apologies for the length.) I guess I would just say that my heart aches for those in difficult places. Please know that help is out there and you can and will get to a better place. My mind was the enemy when I was bad, I genuinely couldn't imagine ever not feeling that soul-crushing misery. Be gentle with yourself, and fight for yourself. Seek out and accept help, consider medicine even if you hate the idea. I've read that St. John's Wort can be helpful if you're adamant about not taking medicine or don't have access. Get general bloodwork done to rule out other issues.

Good luck, all. ((Hugs))

ninja dog

am:

i hope so.

thanks.

CanItBeChristine

My abandonment issues are out-of-control

curlypearl

I echo Greentastic "It's reassuring but also so, so sad to me to know how many other people deal with these issues."

There are so many people who have looked at this thread - many lurking and hesitant to come forward, which I understand.

__________________
2/c and some 3A. Modified CG.
Highly porous. Color over grey.
Best 1st day method: Super Soaker
Protein treatment HG: Curl Junkie Repair Me
Conditioners: Curl Junkie Beauticurls Strengthening Conditioner,
Deep condish: Curl Junkie Curl Rehab
Stylers:Curl Junkie CCCC or CCCL
in combo with a gel, usually KCCC
Trying Curl Keeper - still experimenting

Every day is a gift

amandamarie

Is it weird that I hope a lot of them have never had mental illnesses or similar and so they feel like they have nothing to contribute?

__________________
2a/b (really thick but sort of fine with pretty weak waves), medium-to-fine texture, normal porosity (I think). Doesn't seem to like protein.

Favorite products: Kinky-Curly Knot Today, Kinky-Curly Curling Custard, Curl Junkie Curls in a Bottle, Curl Junkie Curl Rehab, Curl Junkie Curl Assurance Smoothing Lotion, Shea Moisture Curl and Style Milk, homemade flaxseed gel.

Still looking for a cleanser I like.

curlypearl

I think the stigma of mental illness still lingers and that's why many of them don't come forward. It's still hard for some people to admit to emotional problems.

ETA I didn't understand your post at first, Amandamarie. I don't think how you feel is weird - it's actually very kind.

__________________
2/c and some 3A. Modified CG.
Highly porous. Color over grey.
Best 1st day method: Super Soaker
Protein treatment HG: Curl Junkie Repair Me
Conditioners: Curl Junkie Beauticurls Strengthening Conditioner,
Deep condish: Curl Junkie Curl Rehab
Stylers:Curl Junkie CCCC or CCCL
in combo with a gel, usually KCCC
Trying Curl Keeper - still experimenting

Every day is a gift

amandamarie

For sure. I have now three times today typed a message here about a big event for me that's affecting me mental health-wise, and then deleted it. Maybe tomorrow I'll be less scared.

__________________
2a/b (really thick but sort of fine with pretty weak waves), medium-to-fine texture, normal porosity (I think). Doesn't seem to like protein.

Favorite products: Kinky-Curly Knot Today, Kinky-Curly Curling Custard, Curl Junkie Curls in a Bottle, Curl Junkie Curl Rehab, Curl Junkie Curl Assurance Smoothing Lotion, Shea Moisture Curl and Style Milk, homemade flaxseed gel.

Still looking for a cleanser I like.

murrrcat

Even though narnia's post is old, I am the same exact way!!!




Sent from my triffling iPhone using CurlTalk

__________________

CanItBeChristine

So, I definitely have very typical "my father died when I was a kid" abandonment issues and it turns-out I haven't had too many dependable men in my life. Even my former boss...he WAS a man I saw every day for a few years and I DID do a lot of daughter-ly things for him which is probably another reason why losing my job hurt so much.

I have a guy friend who I know would do anything for me, but every so often, I really freak-out (internally, I don't express it to him) that he's going to get sick of me or suddenly think I'm a psycho and not want to deal with me or something and just leave me, too.

He's a huge free spirit and independently wealthy and takes off on a whim to do projects in faraway lands (literally). He won't respond to me and then I'll hear from him because he was on the other side of the world...I KNOW it's not me, I know the worst thing I can do is be too clingy, but the thought of losing this guy's friendship upsets me so much.

He even came-out and said to me last year when I went through a heartbreak from a guy who had been in and out of my life for years, "...here's the thing...you have really bad abandonment issues." But he's also always told me he'd always be there for me no matter what.

I just get really upset thinking about him disappearing from my life. It's stressing me out right now because we haven't talked in a couple of weeks. I KNOW he's not in the country...but, still...

Corrina777

I just don't even know where to begin most of the time.

__________________

3a/f/iii Before the chop- Donated to Locks of Love, January 2013
Modified CG since 11/5/11
CO-WASH: VO5 Vanilla Mint Tea Clarifying, DevaCare No-Poo
CLARIFY: CHS Treatment Shampoo (used prior to PT/DT)
RO: DevaCare One Condition, Regis Olive Oil
LI: Cure Care, As I Am Leave-In
STYLE: Re:Coil, Curl Keeper, Biotera Gel, Deva Ultra Defining Gel, GVP Liquid Sculpting Gel, Curls Rock Amplifier and Strong Hold Mousse
PT/DT: IAGirl's PT, One n' Only Argan Hydrating Mask

amandamarie

It's almost exactly a year since I was in the hospital for these things.

No wonder I'm having a month.

__________________
2a/b (really thick but sort of fine with pretty weak waves), medium-to-fine texture, normal porosity (I think). Doesn't seem to like protein.

Favorite products: Kinky-Curly Knot Today, Kinky-Curly Curling Custard, Curl Junkie Curls in a Bottle, Curl Junkie Curl Rehab, Curl Junkie Curl Assurance Smoothing Lotion, Shea Moisture Curl and Style Milk, homemade flaxseed gel.

Still looking for a cleanser I like.

Narnia

Noo, it's from today murrrcat! We are both in the same boat then I guess, sorry you are feeling that way (((hugs))).

It's such an awful feeling.. I get really needy at this time and that frustrates me even more.

CIBC, I get that concern too. You know in your head that it's not you and that it's just busy life getting in the way, but your heart and stomach tell you something totally different..
Hang in there girl!!


Sent from my "smart" phone, 'scuse crazy typos.

__________________
"Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.”

murrrcat

oh I assume it was old because on my phone your post was on the "first" page for some reason...


I'm the same way. I went off of my medicine because it didn't help. I mean I do eventually get over my spazzing sometimes I'll be down for a week, but I just tell myself to keep going. I think everyone (that I talk to when I'm in this anxious "over dramatic" state) is so annoyed with me because something will just trigger it that they ignore me now.

__________________

Surlycurly

I flew into such a rage this weekend that I think I almost lost my SO. Well, not really, but that was the first time he'd ever seen me in one of my 'moods' as my mother so nicely calls it. I tried to explain to him that I get really depressed sometimes (and anxious too!) and that it usually gets expressed as anger or irritation rather than sadness, but I'm not sure he really understood.

ninja dog

I'm thinking that the time may have come to go hide in bed: sleeping through the aftermath of yesterday's horribleness seems like the way to go.

I would like a grilled cheese sandwich first.

3c4d7zwhatevs

I am late on an answer, but speaking as a lurker, for me it is a two-headed snake. I feel that I don't have anything to contribute because I sort of feel bad that I am riddled with anxiety over what may be considered trivial things, compared to what some of the posters here have gone through (not a dis, it's like I don't want to waste y'alls time with relative minutiae), plus some people here have articulated the anxiety I feel so well, that there is no need for me to repeat it. Reading those posts and respnses to them are helpful enough. Does that make sense?

__________________
4a/3c curls
Fine strands, not as densely-placed as I would like
Ayurvedic herbs are the TRUTH
Team Wash and Go!
iHerb code:UYA010 - get 5% off your first purchase

Corrina777

That does make sense to me. But I'm sure I speak for many when I say that no one's problems are greater or lesser. One of my best friends lost her youngest daughter 5 years ago on Mother's Day when they were hit by a drunk driver. My friend was in the hospital for 6 months with two broken legs. During that time, her husband had an affair and eventually left her. And one of the things she tells me is that it bothers her that people feel bad talking to her about their own problems. She hates that people feel like they can't be upset over the things in their lives because they feel like it doesn't compare. But with many of these issues (depression, anxiety, etc.), it really is the little stuff that can set us off. It's easy to explain being depressed for a little while if one of your parents or grandparents die. But for a lot of people with long term issues, it's not about a single traumatic event. It's a feeling that just lingers through ups and downs and can't necessarily be explained by a single event. So I hope that if you feel the need to reach out or to vent that you are able to do so without worrying if your problems are "big enough."

__________________

3a/f/iii Before the chop- Donated to Locks of Love, January 2013
Modified CG since 11/5/11
CO-WASH: VO5 Vanilla Mint Tea Clarifying, DevaCare No-Poo
CLARIFY: CHS Treatment Shampoo (used prior to PT/DT)
RO: DevaCare One Condition, Regis Olive Oil
LI: Cure Care, As I Am Leave-In
STYLE: Re:Coil, Curl Keeper, Biotera Gel, Deva Ultra Defining Gel, GVP Liquid Sculpting Gel, Curls Rock Amplifier and Strong Hold Mousse
PT/DT: IAGirl's PT, One n' Only Argan Hydrating Mask

curlysue21

Wow Corrina that is awful and I would most likely act that way with her too if I knew her. I always try to put things into perspective when I get down. Sometimes it works other times it doesn't.

I have been in the dumps lately. My husband's health has been poor and on top of his other issues and him not working alongside regular day to day life stressors, I seem to feel like my brain has shut down to try and deal with it. I often avoid him in order to maintain my own sanity even when he is acting normal. This emotional roller coaster sucks. I am even wondering if I should start taking antidepressants again because I'm having trouble making decisions and focusing on anything else.

Sent from my DROID2 using CurlTalk App

__________________
2b/c, medium/high porosity, medium/coarse texture
Current HG: Kinky Curly errythang, GVPCB, LALSG

"I will never be the woman with perfect hair, who can wear white and not spill on it."

Corrina777

She is, without question, one of the strongest people I know. It took a while before I was able to accept what she was saying because I tend to try to put things into perspective also.

I still can't even get the jumble in my head down into words. I'm starting to worry that I might need meds again. I've been off of them for almost two years, but I've reached a point where I'm functional and non-functional at the same time. I get up and go to work, I go to choir and karate. But my apartment probably qualifies for federal disaster aid at this point. I seem to be able to function in front of other people and in public, but when I'm home alone I practically slip into a vegetative state.

__________________

3a/f/iii Before the chop- Donated to Locks of Love, January 2013
Modified CG since 11/5/11
CO-WASH: VO5 Vanilla Mint Tea Clarifying, DevaCare No-Poo
CLARIFY: CHS Treatment Shampoo (used prior to PT/DT)
RO: DevaCare One Condition, Regis Olive Oil
LI: Cure Care, As I Am Leave-In
STYLE: Re:Coil, Curl Keeper, Biotera Gel, Deva Ultra Defining Gel, GVP Liquid Sculpting Gel, Curls Rock Amplifier and Strong Hold Mousse
PT/DT: IAGirl's PT, One n' Only Argan Hydrating Mask

curlysue21

If I didn't have my kids to care for, I most likely would have a house filled with junk and live under the covers!

Sent from my DROID2 using CurlTalk App

__________________
2b/c, medium/high porosity, medium/coarse texture
Current HG: Kinky Curly errythang, GVPCB, LALSG

"I will never be the woman with perfect hair, who can wear white and not spill on it."