I HATE other people's kids!

Yesterday, hubby and I wanted to go out with two other couples. Both have two kids ages 4 and 2. Since it was later in the evening and no one could decide on where to go, we stupidly invited everyone over 'and bring the kids!'

Those kids were absolute MONSTERS. One pair had two little toys they kept putting in their mouths, then wiping it on my furniture, leaving fingerprints on the glass doors and TV, eating brownies and walking around getting crumbs all over the floor. All the kids kept screaming and running around my coffee tables, climbing up my couches to pull down hung tapestries, going into the kitchen to play with the dishwasher and stove.

We even had to move the computer keyboard because one 2 year old started pulling at the keys!!

And where were the parents?? Well my husband moved the men into another room to have 'peaceful conversation' , and the 2 mothers couldn't control their kids. They're SAHM for crying out loud!!! Don't they have time for discipline??!! :x One mom said 'Well, I'm sorry, but I'm sure you expected this type of behaviour'.

I'm so frickin PO. And I'm a clean freak, so every little fallen crumb and smudged glass was like a knife in my heart. I couldn't wait for them to leave!!!

:x
Banned
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 41,043

Code:
welcome to the world of toddlers...
Kate - do you have children?

I'm not excusing their behavior in the least, but for one who does not have or has not had small children in a while, it can be a real shock. Under about the age of 3 discipline usually gives way to human nature. Of course I am sure the parents could have done a bit more, but it really depends on the children in a lot of cases.

Some people (not saying you) think that children should be trained like animals. I grew up in one of those families. Children behave out of sheer fear. That isn't much better.

I think some parents need to be more aware of their children. My daughter could only do so much in a day and then she needed to go home. Too much was definately too much. We tried not to take her to the homes of childless people at the age of 2. She was pretty good, but you never know when the mood will hit.

Sorry you had such a bad night.
Better everyone think your a fool, than to open your mouth and prove them right.

Perception is not reality.

http://public.fotki.com/hmiklos
One mom said 'Well, I'm sorry, but I'm sure you expected this type of behaviour'.
Originally Posted by KateRoberts
You've got to be kidding. Wtf? Put the glass of wine down and go watch your kids.

I think it's really hard to control a toddler and a preschooler in an non-babyproofed home. It can be done, but at the expense of having a good time. You're so busy keeping the kids in line that you can't enjoy the adult company. I always think it's best to hire a sitter for the night, or have your childless friends come to your house.

I'm really sorry those kids wrecked your house. Chalk it up to a learning experience, Kate. And don't invite them over for another 4 years!
Kate - I definitely know how you feel about "why aren't they watching their kids" - hubby and I sometimes feel the same way about my sister with my nephew (20 months old) which is why we don't invite them over as much anymore (we'll go over there or invite her over when my parents are watching the baby). Plus, why did the husbands get out of watching their kids when the wives clearly couldn't handle all the kids themselves?

That said, what were you thinking inviting 4 kids under 5 into your house? (I say that with a joking, not nasty tone)
As much as parents need to watch their kids and make sure they behave, kids will still be kids and even if they were well-behaved, they still would have made a mess of your house. Maybe next time you can go to one of their houses, or they can get sitters.
Faith, 3Aish redhead
Mama to two wild superheroes and a curly-headed baby boy
sinistral55
Guest
Posts: n/a
A 4-year-old climbing up on a couch to pull down hung drapes is a bit much. A 2-year-old playing with computer keyboards--eeeeh, that's a little different, because they can get quite crazy in those terrible twos.


Kids are kids, I know, but at some point they have to start learning how to act like civilized people in public and that they just can't do whatever they want to do whenever they feel like it to other people and other people's stuff. It has to start somewhere, at some time.

Playing with a stove is dangerous. A child can be taught not to play with dangerous appliances without treating them like a trained dog.

My sister has a friend whose 7-year-old and 3-year-old would go to people's houses and break all of their stuff. It was strange; most kids have a natural restraint initially when they go to a home that they've never ever been to before. These kids would go to a completely strange house for the first time, and cut a beeline for bathrooms, bedrooms and kitchens like they'd just arrived at Chuck E. Cheese. The 7-year-old was throwing the householder's 1-1/2 year old in the air and punching her in the stomach.

Their mom just sat and watched them, and occasionally laughed at their antics. We're lucky we left when we did, because the householder said later that her husband was seething in the back bedroom and was 1 hair away from throwing all of us out of the house.

At my daughter's birthday at Chuck E. Cheese last weekend, a boy about 6 was in the toddler area, hauling his big ass on the toddler slide and throwing out all children who were in his way. His mom and dad merely said mildly, "Brandon, give the other kids their turn," to which he glanced disdainfully at them and kept on slinging kids around. The parents gave everybody apologetic, "oh, he's just a mess, isn't he" smiley looks and just stood there.

Last night we were at Books-A-Million, and a little girl got mad because her mother told her it was time to leave. She took her Thomas the Tank engine and hurled it at my daughter, who'd lined up her trains carefully on her side of the tabletop tracks, destroying her arrangement. No one was injured and my daughter wasn't perturbed in the least, but the mother left, then came back and made her daughter apologize. She didn't apologize for her daughter. The lady wasn't violently angry with her daughter or anything like that, at all.

I know my opinion is not a popular one, but I feel children have to learn somewhere, at some time.
sinistral55
Guest
Posts: n/a
Forgot to add: do you have a den? A lot of times, kids who wouldn't normally act a certain way, will get [img]waaay[/img] overexcited with a bunch of other children. A separate room, fine-toothed beforehand to remove all important/fragile items, would be a good idea for them to hang out in.

If you don't have a den, maybe you could use a bedroom for them to hang out in, but completely child-proofing it with a fine-toothed comb? Hindsight, I know, but these are some suggestions that might have worked out.
the mother left, then came back and made her daughter apologize. She didn't apologize for her daughter. The lady wasn't violently angry with her daughter or anything like that, at all.
Originally Posted by sinistral55
I think that was the right thing to do. The child needs to learn to take responsibility for her actions.

You think the mom should have apologized for her daughter?
sinistral55
Guest
Posts: n/a
You think the mom should have apologized for her daughter?
Hmmm, I'm not sure, to tell you the truth. The kid was about 3, I guess. I know how itty-bitty and not-exactly-itty-bitty kids just can't handle things sometimes.

I guess it's because I see so many folks just apologize for everything their kid does and go on about their business, even when the kid is way, way old enough to know better. And it's like they don't even expect the kid to even take notice that his/her actions have hurt someone else. I just don't agree with that. I think gentle, sometimes firm repetition has to start at some point.

If I were the lady with the train-throwing daughter, I'd make her apologize, then apologized myself. That's what I would have done. But I think she handled it very well. As they were leaving, the lady even expressed understanding to her child about how she knew she was tired and it was time to call it a day.
kids can be taught to behave appropriately, and it doesn't have to be done in a controlling manner. granted, there is something to be said for having some things out of the way of a toddler, but this sounds like something much beyond that. for example, there is no reason that a child should not be expected to sit at a table with food, rather than roam around someone else's house dropping crumbs all over the floor. a conscientious parent and gracious guest would ensure that the child does so. a child should know that climing on the back of a couch to pull things off the wall is not an appropriate thing to do.

a believe there is a happy medium to be found in allowing children to be children, and helping them learn how to grow into well adapted citizens of the planet. freedom within limits seems to be a foreign concept to many people these days.

the problem is that obviously the work on discipline and expectations of appropriate behavior had not been done up to the point of the get together. if the children were that out of control, obviously they are allowed to behave that way in their day-to-day lives.

it really is too bad. sorry you had such an un-fun evening with your friends.

m

eta: the parents should have arranged for some sort of entertainment for the children if they wanted to spend the evening in relaxed conversation with their friends - but even so, they couldn't expect to just be able to ignore them and hope for the best behavior-wise. bored little ones lacking adult attention is a sure-fire recipe for disaster.
coarse, thick 3a
modified cg







Kate - do you have children?

I'm not excusing their behavior in the least, but for one who does not have or has not had small children in a while, it can be a real shock. Under about the age of 3 discipline usually gives way to human nature. Of course I am sure the parents could have done a bit more, but it really depends on the children in a lot of cases.

Some people (not saying you) think that children should be trained like animals. I grew up in one of those families. Children behave out of sheer fear. That isn't much better.

I think some parents need to be more aware of their children. My daughter could only do so much in a day and then she needed to go home. Too much was definately too much. We tried not to take her to the homes of childless people at the age of 2. She was pretty good, but you never know when the mood will hit.

Sorry you had such a bad night.
Originally Posted by three rivers curly
I agree. And with children that young and that late in the evening I am not shocked at all.
Well, Childless here and I understand.

So, here it goes....

Sorry, the parents needed to get up and take responsibility for their children.
They showed the host absolutely NO RESPECT regarding her house and the fact she welcomed them and their kids into her home.
No excuses. It is fine for kids to be curious but no manners? Yes, fine for the children not to have learned manners yet but the adults had no manners and no respect for her and her property. Wow?? What a great time to teach your children how to respect someone else's belongings????
Also, did the parents pack things to keep the kids occupied? Next time...if there is a next time...ha ha...remind the parents to bring things to keep their kids busy....blah...blah...blah...since your brats destroyed my home the last time you were here!! :P :P

Oh, And I think you should go out a get a brand new puppy and pay your friends a visit. Make sure your puppy is fed and given plenty of water twenty minutes before your arrival. Just enough time for your new baby to use their carpet as a toilet. :P
WTH were those parents doing?! Man, it doesn't matter how little they were, no 2-year old or anything-year-old should EVER be given carte-blanche to go around somebody's house. My brother and I would never have done that and our parents would never have put up with it, not for a second. I can't say I wouldn't have given the kids a timeout myself if it were my house, and I can't say I would have cared one bit if that upset their lame parents. Fact of the matter is, if you have a problem child, you are the one who keeps the problems from happening. You stop your child and be a freaking parent.
Even when I babysit I don't let that crap slide. My most frequent clients were about the ages of the children in the OP, and I didn't have parent status with them, but I still kept them acting civilized.
OMG, LOOK!!

...It's a siggie.
Kate - we had the EXACT same experience this weekend!

We had a small dinner on Friday night with some of MIL's friends and they each brought their grandkids (age 4, 6, 8 and 10). Each one of these kids had been over separately and they were all good kids so I didn't have any issue with it. Well, all together, it was like a pack of monkeys were let loose in my house! They were jumping off the coffee table, throwing a ball in the living room (at the tv), throwing each other to the ground etc.... even my 1 year old had enough and actually wanted to go to bed an hour earlier than usual.

I was so stressed out by the time the night was over. I don't understand why these people couldn't control their kids! As the mother of a toddler, I do understand that age now, but these were older kids - they SHOULD know how to behave in someone's house.

Also (and I think this applies in your case too, Kate): these people know that I only have a 1 year old and don't have age appropriate toys for their older kids. They should have brought activities/toys to occupy their kids, rather than have them break my little guy's toys (they ripped open one of this teddy-bears!).

I know there's definitely an element of not being used to kids, but I expect my kid to behave better in other people's houses than in my own. Which means that I watch him like a hawk. So sometimes its less fun to go out with him than it is to stay home but I'm certainly not going to let him tear up someone's house.
Being a sahm of 3 children myself, I definitily feel they should have been more strict w/ their kids while visiting someone's home. On the other hand, I probably wouldn't have my kids out late like that anyway, unless it was to someone else's home who had children also. That's just a nightmare waiting to happen! Ya gotta be smart about those things. But to hear you say "I hate other people's kids" is a little offensive, being a lot of us DO have kids and we love 'em - good behavior or bad.

Kim
Type: 2c, medium/high porosity, high density, course.
Cleanse: Curls unleashed shampoo
Leave-in: KCKT, Curlsunleashed leave in.
Style: Argan oil
DT: Aussie 3 min. miracle or olive/coconut oil.
Fact of the matter is, if you have a problem child, you are the one who keeps the problems from happening. You stop your child and be a freaking parent.
Originally Posted by wild_sasparilla
You do realize that "problem children" are usually the result of "problem parents (ie; ineffective parents)?" You know, the whole you reap what you sow thing.
But to hear you say "I hate other people's kids" is a little offensive, being a lot of us DO have kids and we love 'em - good behavior or bad.

Kim
Originally Posted by juvjoy
well I hate other peopel's bad azz kids.

I've already decided if my child starts actig up in public, especially at someone elses home, then we LEAVE.


Blog
I've already decided if my child starts actig up in public, especially at someone elses home, then we LEAVE.
Originally Posted by Trenellm
Right on, Trenellm!

Guess what? It WORKS. Why more people don't use this strategy is a mystery. Maybe because it forces the parent to actually PARENT their child? It's disturbing to see parents who are scared to step up when their children are misbehaving.
2C top/3A&B underneath. Activate Hydrating Conditioner, Jessicurl products.
Kate - do you have children?

I'm not excusing their behavior in the least, but for one who does not have or has not had small children in a while, it can be a real shock. Under about the age of 3 discipline usually gives way to human nature. Of course I am sure the parents could have done a bit more, but it really depends on the children in a lot of cases.

Some people (not saying you) think that children should be trained like animals. I grew up in one of those families. Children behave out of sheer fear. That isn't much better.

I think some parents need to be more aware of their children. My daughter could only do so much in a day and then she needed to go home. Too much was definately too much. We tried not to take her to the homes of childless people at the age of 2. She was pretty good, but you never know when the mood will hit.

Sorry you had such a bad night.
Originally Posted by three rivers curly
I agree. And with children that young and that late in the evening I am not shocked at all.
Originally Posted by internetchick
Seriously. I understand that they were having a good time and probably didn't want the day to end, but at what point do you put your children first? When they have had enough, they have had enough. Choosing to have children bascially means you put your own needs/wants last.
Better everyone think your a fool, than to open your mouth and prove them right.

Perception is not reality.

http://public.fotki.com/hmiklos
But to hear you say "I hate other people's kids" is a little offensive, being a lot of us DO have kids and we love 'em - good behavior or bad.

Kim
Originally Posted by juvjoy
well I hate other peopel's bad azz kids.

I've already decided if my child starts actig up in public, especially at someone elses home, then we LEAVE.
Originally Posted by Trenellm

So do I. I definately would have said something if they are in my home tearing up my stuff. Were these good friends of yours? Maybe you didn't want to offend them by telling them about their brats, but maybe that's what they needed. I definately would not be inviting them over again.
You don't have to blow out my flame to make yours burn brighter.

When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.

How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.

Trending Topics


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -6. The time now is 05:44 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright 2011 NaturallyCurly.com