Dad uses Facebook to teach daughter a lesson

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why am i attracted to jerks?

i'm sure he has backed her computer up, to replace it will probably cost $400.
Go ahead dad! If the kid can't respect his rules, she can get a job and really learn about responsibility. At 15 you're old enough to work in most states, and if she isn't then she can babysit, wash cars, or mow lawns til she earns her laptop back.
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I hate this guy...the kids letter was just a vent on FB!
Isn't her whole rant about the fact that she does all the housework and doesn't have time for a job? I admit, I have some sympathy for her (the purpose of the rant, NOT how she handled it) because in my family I am the oldest and a girl and I did ALL the housework. I do think that everyone in a family should contribute to keeping the family running (even my six year old has chores and is expected to clean up behind HERSELF) but I don't think it's right to heap all the work on one kid...and if you do, then don't be an ass and make her job harder.

I doubt the girl is all that embarrassed. I would imagine her reaction is more like, "You see? He's nuts."
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And that's why you don't teach lessons . . .
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This link is his answer to some of the questions that he has been asked since he posted his youtube video. He answered all the things I was wondering about and some of the things other curlies have mentioned too!

UPDATE: Dad uses Facebook to teach daughter a lesson - Chicago's Best Variety of the 80s, 90s and Now

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Wait - I haven't even seen this, but from reading the thread, are you telling me:

-some teenage girl vented on fb that her parents make her do too many chores
-her dad found out, took a gun, and shot her laptop to bits
-he videoed himself doing this and ranting, and posted it on youtube
-this is how the daughter found out
-the guy is now a hero/celebrity for doing this?

I have MANY things to say about that, but the biggest one is, SHOOTING something with a GUN is considered a GOOD solution to a problem? What does bad parenting look like, in that case?
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Isn't her whole rant about the fact that she does all the housework and doesn't have time for a job? I admit, I have some sympathy for her (the purpose of the rant, NOT how she handled it) because in my family I am the oldest and a girl and I did ALL the housework. I do think that everyone in a family should contribute to keeping the family running (even my six year old has chores and is expected to clean up behind HERSELF) but I don't think it's right to heap all the work on one kid...and if you do, then don't be an ass and make her job harder.

I doubt the girl is all that embarrassed. I would imagine her reaction is more like, "You see? He's nuts."
Originally Posted by CGNYC
She might be saying that, but I'd bet she is humiliated. I certainly would've been. My parents would've NEVER done something like this, let alone put it out there for the whole world to see.
I don't think it was too harsh, I think it was stupid. Of course, now he's internet-famous so I guess he got what he wanted. He could a. take away the laptop or b. check up on her when she's online. Both of those things take effort and and you probably won't get a bazillion hits on youtube for just being a rational person.

To me, discipline is not about my ego. It's about teaching my daughter to be a good person and helping her make good choices. When she can't make those herself, I help her make them. I don't need to prove that I'm the boss because I'm the mom, of course I'm the boss. I think it's more important to teach my daughter that if she thinks something is unfair, she should first talk to me and if she needs to vent, she needs to not be stupid and disrespectful of me IN PUBLIC. That's what diaries and best friends are for.

Last, the guy seems like a jerk. If he's really got a kid at home who does all those chores she listed, he needs to at least respect what she's doing and not add to it. Who walks across a floor in muddy shoes and then expects someone else to clean it up? An ass, that's who. If your kids or husband did that and then gave you attitude about it, how would you feel?

He comes across as a jerk and I bet he's hard to live with.

Again, I don't think it's too harsh. She was stupid and disrespectful to vent about her parents in such a public way. That's best saved for your best friend or your journal.
Originally Posted by CGNYC
Again I will quote and agree with the beautiful and brilliant CGNYC.


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Originally Posted by CGNYC
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Obviously, I don't know this girl. But it sounds to me like a whiny teenager who is completely exaggerating her circumstances for dramatic effect. I know this, because I have a tendency to write posts like this in my head when I'm in a bad mood and doing stuff around the house.

Side note... If she does this stuff every day, she should have it down to a science, and should be able to finish most of it in about 15-20 minutes tops. Which, in the long run, shouldn't interfere too terribly with her homework time. (Hah! I wrote this before he went on to break down the list... So. Closer to 15 minutes, I'd say.)

She should get herself a job... When I got a job, my chore list magically shrunk, because my mom knew I wasn't home nearly as much.
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And that's why you don't teach lessons . . .
Originally Posted by Saria
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"And death is at your doorstep
And it will steal your innocence
But it will not steal your substance
But you are not alone in this"

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This link is his answer to some of the questions that he has been asked since he posted his youtube video. He answered all the things I was wondering about and some of the things other curlies have mentioned too!

UPDATE: Dad uses Facebook to teach daughter a lesson - Chicago's Best Variety of the 80s, 90s and Now
Originally Posted by roseannadana
He did it to teach her the value of a dollar?

I will say that his daughter seems to have a good sense of humor about the whole thing.
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I see nothing wrong in what he did. I was brought up with the knowledge that if I embarrass my parents in public, they will embarrass me in public. From the Father's response, that is how he was raised and I am sure he is raising his daughter in the same manner. In other words, she knew the consequences of her actions but chose to do what she did anyway. Everyone is up in arms on the daughter's behalf, she doesn't seem to have a problem with it. He didn't verbally or physically abuse her. He disciplined his daughter the way he saw fit.
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Obviously, I don't know this girl. But it sounds to me like a whiny teenager who is completely exaggerating her circumstances for dramatic effect. I know this, because I have a tendency to write posts like this in my head when I'm in a bad mood and doing stuff around the house.

Side note... If she does this stuff every day, she should have it down to a science, and should be able to finish most of it in about 15-20 minutes tops. Which, in the long run, shouldn't interfere too terribly with her homework time. (Hah! I wrote this before he went on to break down the list... So. Closer to 15 minutes, I'd say.)

She should get herself a job... When I got a job, my chore list magically shrunk, because my mom knew I wasn't home nearly as much.
Originally Posted by SCG
I was thinking that too, because when I was in high school and complained about cleaning or something, I'd always over dramatize for effect. I mean it could of been done in 20 minutes if I didn't sit around complaining and dragging along.
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Meh, I disagree that it was too harsh. As an entitled child, I was this bratty azz 15 year old who asked for the most expensive gifts and then fought my mom tooth and nail if she asked me to take out the trash. Luckily, when Facebook first started only college students were allowed to join, so my disrespectful tirades directed at my parents weren't heard by all my friends, just the close ones.

This girl embarrassed her parents by her blatant disrespect and her ungrateful attitude. We should all be so lucky as to have a dad who cares enough to put 7 bullets in a laptop he paid for.

And all the arguments that the laptop should've been donated. True. I hate when people waste, but the reality is laptops are designed to be disposable. They aren't meant to last forever. He can still recycle the pieces if he so desires. And on top of that, forcing his daughter to donate it simply doesn't carry the same punch as putting bullets in it.

I'm not so sure about recording it, but his message is loud and clear. We live in the digital age and parenting has to adapt to accommodate children who post hurtful things on the web. This father was just trying to beat her at her own game.

Not all kids are the same. His daughter is obviously a repeat offender and his actions are a response to that. IMO babying, coddling, and spoiling kids is exactly why we have a bunch of whiny, entitled, brat ty, emotionally unstable kids running around.

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Originally Posted by midgi
...who turn into whiny, entitled, bratty, emotionally unstable adults...running around.
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A little over the top, but I could feel that he was real frustrated.
I love this guy for being a parent instead of his kid's friend.
I wish he would have given her computer and phone and ipod to some deserving kid. But, since I like to shoot things I kind of enjoyed that part anyway.
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Reading the link above does a lot toward defusing the kneejerk "he's an ass and he's scarred her for life" reactions. This kid made a big mistake by venting and being an entitled brat in a public forum, and having a taste of her own medicine seemed to get the message across. Yes, dad was angry when he posted it (I would have been, too, what with her nastiness about the cleaning lady and not taking care of them when they're old), but he was really trying to teach her a lesson for her own good, and not for his own wounded feelings.

Facebook is not the same as a diary. You don't put your diary up for the public to read. You don't get to talk trash about your parents and then get pissed when they find out about it. Facebook wasn't around when I was a kid, but you can bet my folks would have insisted upon access to my account. That's responsible parenting. They need to know what image you're presenting to the world. When you turn 18 and leave the house, you can block them. Until then, you have to demonstrate your trustworthiness.

I agree that it was wasteful to destroy the laptop, but honestly? It made more of an impact on a teenager's mind, I bet. Seeing your laptop there with a bullet through it because your dad bought and paid for it and you misused it is something she won't soon forget. If she'd donated it or he'd sold it, I don't think it would have carried the same weight. And let's not forget that this was not the first time she'd done this sort of thing on Facebook and she didn't learn the lesson when there was a lesser consequence.

We have no way of knowing what will or won't go viral these days. If we did, we'd have people specializing in helping others make a quick buck off of internet fame--the formula to viral success! This guy uploaded it for her friends to see--a taste of her own medicine--and it went viral through no fault of his own. I'm sure he regrets that part of it, and he admits as much. But I don't think he was in the wrong. He has refused talk show interviews and other things that would further his internet fame.

I see a lot of my own parents in this guy and his writings (though I don't think my parents would have shot my laptop. They'd have taken it away for sure.), and I respect them and turned out a more well-adjusted person for having parents that loved me enough to not be my friend during my teen years. I did chores, got good grades and knew to stay out of trouble or I'd lose privileges, but more importantly, disappoint them. They did give me privacy and privileges, but that was because I demonstrated the fact that they could trust me not to pull stuff like this girl did.
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Last edited by wavyblonde; 02-11-2012 at 12:28 AM.
But why is it OK for the dad, a grown man, not to realize that something like this would go viral on youtube (exactly the type of idiotic thing that does) but not OK for a kid to realize her dad might read her facebook?
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