IAmJordanNicole

This could get long so I apologize in advance. I just have to get this off of my chest. And if you aren't interested in girly boy drama you can close this now!!!

Anyway, I've had this friend for about 8 years now. We met at my first job when I was 16. At the time he had a crush on me and I was in now way interested.

A few years ago I started dating his best friend, and I hooked him up with a friend of mine so we could all double date. Things ended between his friend and I because we had very different personalities. My friend and him ended up dating for a few months but she moved away and they broke up. She and I are still friends but not very close.

Now, him and I have gotten very close through the years. We bond over sports mostly and often go to games together. Somehow, I've developed a crush on him. I was trying to ignore it but a few nights ago he called me and we ended up talking for 4 hours!!!! He told me that I'm the only person whom he can talk to for that amount of time.

Tonight we decided to go out for drink. We ended up playing pool and watching the Sixers game and having a great time!!! Afterward we went back to my house to watch the lakers.

When we got to my house I sat on the couch and he sat on the chair across the room so I figured he wasn't feeling what I was and shrugged it off. Then I decided to play on the dart board. He wanted to join in and after his turn he sat next to me on the couch. Like, right next to me, on the same cushion.

We watched some tv and we ended up sorta cuddling with my head on his shoulder and his head on mine. Everytime I got up he'd be in my spot and when I asked him to move over he'd move just a little so that I could fit and everytime he'd get up he'd sit right back close to me again.

We ended up falling asleep together and he didn't leave until after 4am. The night ended with a hug, just like it always does. Whomp. And he texted me when he got in to say good night. I'm not sure what to think or do??

Should I make a move?? Is it okay since we both have history with the other's friend?? Am I reading too far into it?? I dunno!! I do know I don't wanna make it awkward because we bought tickets to go to the phillies game in July and I'm really looking forward to it. What should I do??

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amcme2

If say wait tool after the game just encase you dint get the answer you want. Then make a move after that. If you can wait that long.

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Dedachan

lol, sorry but as a non sports fan, I don't understand how that game could that important. Are you really worried about the game, or is it the friendship you don't want to risk? Because it seems to me he's already making the moves.

Personally, I think it would be wonderful to end up with a guy who is also a wonderful friend. It's not something easy to come by. I would definitely not put him on hold til July - I wouldn't even know how to. My guess is he'd assume I wasn't interested and move on.

HomeGrownHairGirl

I agree with amcme2. You don't want to have to still try and go to the game when things are awkward. Wait until after the game and tell him you like him as more than a friend.

ETA : Oh I just realized you said the game is in JULY! That is way too long to wait. Tell him the next time you see him. Eff the game!

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EvaCurls333

I think this is adorable. You would be insane to wait!!! Go for it now before he feels your not interested and moves on. I'm not saying start jumping on him and making out but tell him that your starting/ have feelings for him. If he isnt interested then it was better to know then not to. And if your friendship is as great as you say it is you two will be fine either way. And don't worry about the old teenage relationships from the past they were in the past so keep them there. Good luck and keep us posted either way. Singing "love is in the air..." lol sorry I couldn't help it.

IAmJordanNicole

I agree with this...

I guess I'm not that worried about the game, more about the friendship. I'm sort of worried about what our friends would think, especially my friend (his ex) because I think that she still likes him.

I guess I'm a little confused on whether we have like a brother/sister kind of closeness or a perspective boyfriend/girlfriend closeness.

I do know that I haven't felt this way in a long time...all giddy and excited and I cannot stop thinking about him!!! I didn't even want to take my shirt off because it smelled like him!!! I'm a total mess...

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anonymous_103081

I've been in this situation. I told my best friend and although he and I had been sexually intimate a few tines, he didn't want to date me. I was hurt until he basically told me I was too good for him( he's pretty much a womanizer), and we're still friends.

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happyface

So i asked my husband, to get a male perspectice and he says to just keep doing what you're doing. Don't rush things by saying anything. He's probably already feeling the same because cuddling isn't a brother/sister thing. Be patient and show that you're open to the idea but let him make the first move.

I agree with his advice. He and I were friends first too. I waited for him to make the first move because i didnt want to make things awkward. He would ask me things and i could tell he was feeling me out. So i answered in a way to let him know i was open to the idea. Eventually he made the first move by putting his arm around me in a joking manner as we were walking. I didn't move his arm and neither did he. From there we ended up holding hands and that's when I knew for sure he was feeling the same way.

Good luck.

-on this phone that makes it too hard to capitalize letters.

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IAmJordanNicole

this made me smile, thanks

I agree with this. I think that your hubby is right, and if he likes me too then he'll make a move eventually. I think that the cuddling thing was a huge step for us. We definitely don't usually do that!


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09robiha

Nothing helpful to add other than I fell head over heels in love with my best friend over 2 years - were still together and still in very much in love ...it was the best thing I ever did

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IAmJordanNicole

Success stories are always helpful! I'm very happy for you and you give me hope!


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EvaCurls333

Your welcome. Thanks for sharing!

NetG

This thread is so adorable! I generally like to stay out of guy/girl drama threads and thought this was one, but I read it and awwwww.

He was definitely feeling out to see if you were interested. Nearly every relationship I've had has been someone who was a friend first. When a guy decides he's interested and going to see if you are he starts doing things like calling regularly, encouraging cuddling, checking in when it's not needed but is just extra sweet.

While you may not want to explicitly say you're interested, I don't think it would be harmful for you to add in some extra effort like he appears to be trying to do so he knows the effort is reciprocated, at least.

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Saria

I don't know, but I get the sense that you don't really have feelings for your friend. Not just that you're not in love, but that the feelings you have aren't of a romantic nature.
I think the thought popped into your head because you've been friends for a long time and you have a good dynamic with him, so now you're wondering if he isn't suited for you. It just doesn't read to me like you're really liking him in that way, and I do get more of a brother-sister vibe from your post.

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IAmJordanNicole

I don't agree with this, however I have thought about this. When I first realized I had a crush on him I was like, "no, this can't be right! I must be trippin." I addressed the crush with my mom and together we decided that I should wait a little whole and see if the crush lasts, as time is going by I seem to be crushing harder!

I know that I don't have brother/sister feelings toward him, but you may be right that he has those feelings for me. I'm not sure, which is why I can here for some advice.

NetG...I'm glad you didn't find this story annoying! Lol. I was trying not to be all girly and mushy but it was 4 am when I wrote this so I wasn't even sure if what I was trying to convey was clear. Thanks for the input.

I think I'll definitely wait it out a little. Let us hang out some more and see where it goes. I think that if he likes me he'll make a move at some point, but I'll definitely try to show him that I'm open to him making a move and see what happens.

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Dedachan

While it's too soon to talk about love, this to me does sound like a legitimate crush.

Saria

Of course you know your own feelings best, I was just giving my perspective because I've witnessed a few instances of people getting worked up over their friends, romanticizing a friendship and convinced they see someone in a new light. Then they get it or they meet someone else and realize it was basically just a silly thought with no actual legs. They realize they just thought they had feelings because they have such a great friendship and seem so well-suited that why couldn't it be more? That and TV and movies love the "it was my best friend" all along story. Of course, many times it is, but often it's not.
Anyway, hopefully the feelings are real and mutual and you get your answer soon, since it would lovely to find that in someone you already love (as a friend).

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IAmJordanNicole

I can agree with this. That's why in the beginning I didn't believe it myself. I know I'm not IN LOVE with him. I was being dramatic which I tend to do sometimes. Plus, it sounded good as a thread title(IMO).

I really do think it's a real crush but I do want to be sure because I would never want to risk such a great friendship by making it awkward.


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empressri

I was thinking the same thing. I had a childhood male best friend....and he was literally like my brother. Euw!!! The thought of cuddling against him is just flat out weird for me.

Clearly there is something there but just ease into it, sometimes jumping the gun too fast can ruin things.

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