Change name for marriage...why?

Some of his relatives address things as Mr. and Mrs. Hubby's Full Name. I HATE that. What, now I don't even have a first name.
Originally Posted by Trenellm


I LOVE that. I just do. My own personal thing.

I had a pretty dysfunctional childhood (who hasn't, right?) and during this time I had NO family around me. I am an only child, my father was absent - for lack of a better word - my mom was there, but she can be pretty crazy at times. My mom had moved me across the country, so I had no cousins, no aunts, no family other than my occasional psycho mother. I had to always have the t.v. on b/c it gave me this feeling that I had people, or family around. I was never the girl who had her dream wedding planned out, but I had my dream family. I always swore we were going to be like the Cosby's - someday I was going to have a big family, and fantastic, fun relationship with my husband.

I feel like I didn't have family growing up, so the only family I have is the one I've put together with my husband and our children. Having his name makes me feel like I'm a part of something rather than just kind of floating out there alone.
~ the artist formerly known as babywavy ~

Please excuse any typos. For the time being, we are blaming it on my computer.
Some of his relatives address things as Mr. and Mrs. Hubby's Full Name. I HATE that. What, now I don't even have a first name.
Originally Posted by Trenellm
I LOVE that. I just do. My own personal thing.
Originally Posted by babywavy
I love it, too!
I used to have a signature but it disappeared and I just couldn't be bothered writing another so please feel free to ingore this.
Some of his relatives address things as Mr. and Mrs. Hubby's Full Name. I HATE that. What, now I don't even have a first name.
Originally Posted by Trenellm


I LOVE that. I just do. My own personal thing.

I feel like I didn't have family growing up, so the only family I have is the one I've put together with my husband and our children. Having his name makes me feel like I'm a part of something rather than just kind of floating out there alone.
Originally Posted by babywavy
That make perfect sense. You feel comforted.

sidenote. At this very moment I am watching my baby try to eat his own foot while sitting in his bebe pod and clutching a toy lion. And now he just yacked.


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His name turned my initials into "TLC" so y'know, I thought that was pretty cute. I think I would have probably kept my name had it not been for that. I don't know, names don't mean a whole lot to me.
I have been lurking in this thread thinking of WHY I changed my name...and I don't have a reason. Other than I guess I didn't see it as him owning me or anything, it was just something that I was going to do. I don't know. I don't care if people want to change their names or not. :shrugs:
I have been lurking in this thread thinking of WHY I changed my name...and I don't have a reason. Other than I guess I didn't see it as him owning me or anything, it was just something that I was going to do. I don't know. I don't care if people want to change their names or not. :shrugs:
Originally Posted by M2LR & Co.
Yeah, that's pretty much me too. I don't see it as a big deal either way. Live and let live, I suppose. I don't get some people being angry that others didn't make the same decisions as them. People are different. It's so not a big issue to me.
I changed my name once but I took back my birth name after I got divorced. I won't take someone else's name again.

Friends of mine got married and went down the courthouse to legally change their last names to the same name. He had a bad childhood and so did she so they wanted to be separate from their families. They agreed on the last name "Valentine" because they married on valentine's day.

I was born to be a pessimist. My blood type is B Negative.
I do think it is a personal choice. What everyone else decides for themselves is fine with me.

As I said, I never questioned that I wouldn't take my husband's name. We became a family when we married, and now after 30 years this is more my family than my birth one. Not that I don't love all of them and they are a big part of my life, they just are not my "immediate" family any longer. . . he is.
3b/c
I hyphenated. Hubby is very traditional (well, sort of, sort of not, considering he's a homemaker at the moment), but was silently disappointed that I wasn't planning to take his name. I suggested he take my wonderful Italian name, but he has the same first name as my brother...not that it would matter, as hubby's a Smith. I figure I could compromise - he occasionally gets referred to by my name in invitations anyway.

So at work, I'm Dr. Maiden name, my in-laws consider me a Smith; my colleagues mostly call me by my initials. Legally, I'm both. I only got most of the financials switched over, so I figure it helps to have both names. Besides, I can hide under his name in the phone book.

My signature is mostly illegible (a byproduct of medical school, I'm sure), and I only sign a handful of the 24 or so letters anyway.
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I added hubby's, but mostly do whatever depending on the convenience...
Code:
or inconvenience...lol
Hubby's gonna love it when I put my madien name on my masters
Friends of mine got married and went down the courthouse to legally change their last names to the same name. He had a bad childhood and so did she so they wanted to be separate from their families. They agreed on the last name "Valentine" because they married on valentine's day.
Originally Posted by roseannadana
Wow. That's kinda crazy. But pretty cool!
I can't think of a reason why I would ever change my name.
I think women should have 3 things - their own name, their own bank account, and a paying job (doesn't matter whether it's 40 hours or 1 hour a week).
Changing my name just to please my husband or his family would never occur to me. If my fiance said "You have to change your name or I won't marry you", he would quickly be shown the door.
But, hey, that's just me. To each his own.
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If I marry I won't change my name. I'm too lazy and it's too much of a hassle changing bank accounts, passport, credit card, licence, yada, yada. I don't see the point of it. If I have kids I don't mind giving them his last name. I don't like the hyphen thing. I figure I've gone through 30 some years with this name, it's me and I'll have it the rest of my life.
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If my fiance said "You have to change your name or I won't marry you", he would quickly be shown the door.
But, hey, that's just me. To each his own.
Originally Posted by jeepcurlygurl
Did someone's fiance actually say that?
If my fiance said "You have to change your name or I won't marry you", he would quickly be shown the door.
But, hey, that's just me. To each his own.
Originally Posted by jeepcurlygurl
Did someone's fiance actually say that?
Originally Posted by yagottaloveyacurls
I once dated a man that said that when he proposed. He was dumped about two days later when I couldn't persuade him that I wanted to keep my name. I was only 19 at the time, so it was probably for the best anyway.

I think that because I have spent so many years in the military, my last name (well, my whole name) is a part of my identity. People can see it on my uniform. People call me by my last name, and many of them probably don't know my first name. Aside from the woman-as-propety issue that I see with name changing, the identity things plays into it as well.
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If my fiance said "You have to change your name or I won't marry you", he would quickly be shown the door.
But, hey, that's just me. To each his own.
Originally Posted by jeepcurlygurl
Did someone's fiance actually say that?
Originally Posted by yagottaloveyacurls
My friend's husband


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I never gave it a second thought.
I took his name in a heartbeat
"what's so funny 'bout peace, love and understanding?"



"If you judge people,you have no time to love them"
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I hated my maiden name and couldn't wait to change it. I spent my third day of marriage at the social security office and the DOL. If my maiden name was something normal or nice, I probably would have either kept it or used it as my middle name. Whenever I'm called Mrs. Lastname, I think it sounds weird and sometimes I don't answer to it.

My husband didn't care one way or the other if I changed my name.
When are women going to face the fact that they donít know their own bodies as well as men who have heard things?

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Not only do I not see a reason to change my name, I don't see a reason to get married.

I thought it was interesting (and great) that the male mayor of Los Angeles combined last names with his wife to make the new name Villaraigosa.
Couldn't help but reply to this, especially since the divorce/marriage riot in a past thread.

In Islam a woman is NOT supposed to change her 'maiden name' when she marries a man. You never see a Muslim woman reffered to by her husband's family name, people always use hers.
Originally Posted by sarasara
Are you sure thats not more of a cultural thing? I don't think there are any rules around your name(at least I've never heard of it). In Bangladesh women don't change their names, but my mom did after a few years in America because back in the 70's it was a pain to do anything (share bank accounts, etc) if you didn't have you husband's last name and apparently everyone advised her to.

To the original topic, it's obviously not necessary but most people follow tradition so they do change the last names. I actually was surprised when I got older that most women(including my friends and sister) would change their last name. To me it's pretty backwards but now I understand why people would and its not a big deal(I used to be judgemental of women who would). I will not be changing my name ever.

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