I guess I just don't understand what the big deal is. I've been married for over a year and received a Christmas card from a good friend with my maiden name on it. I wasn't mad at all, I was happy that she sent me a card.
Heck my dad even sent my birthday card to my maiden name.
Oh, and we have one of those signs! A guy carved it for us on our honeymoon.
i don't see the big deal either.
the name thing would bother me more if it were someone with whom i work with regularly who calls me by the wrong name or with the wrong pronunciation.
a relative addressing correspondence with my maiden name or with my husband's full name wouldn't set me off.
i don't let little things like that get to me.
and, we have a carved plaque too. it rests on a shelf in our den with our family pictures around it. a guy carved ours at the state fair! it has our family name (my husband's name) in the middle, with each of our first names branching out from it!