What do you want done with your body when you die?

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Have you given it any thought?

I remember after my father-in-law's wake, a relative of his said, "I don't want any of that. When I die, throw me in the oven." She was very matter-of-fact about it. I laughed when she said it, as it took me by surprise. I guess I always took it for granted that I'd have the open casket, with my loved ones around me. But I'm starting to think differently these days.

With funeral expenses being what they are these days, I'm wondering if it makes sense to pay upwards of $10K for something that won't matter to me after I'm gone. The funeral would be for my friends and family. Do I really want my family to put so much money into something that will be over in a couple of days?

Maybe my family can bring my ashes home and have everyone come for a gathering, where they can reminisce over some good food and drinks.

What would you want?
Take what can be salvaged for whoever needs it. Light a match to the rest. I'm done with it.

No special requests for my ashes that I can think of right now.
LAwoman, NetG and spring1onu like this.
The best revenge is living well. The second best revenge is fire ants.
I'd like a Jewish burial (plain shroud, no embalming or anything, closed-casket, simple coffin that's biodegradable if local laws allow it).

That's what I'd want even if I weren't Jewish.
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If the composting of humans hasn't become common by the time I die (it's available in Sweden, last I read), just put me in a pine box with the ashes of my dogs.

(I'd actually prefer birch but I don't know......seems too fussy, you know? Defeats the purpose.)
Harvested for any usable organs. Then cremate me. Do whatever you want with the ashes — no need to be all reverent about them.

Actually, what ninja said about composting sounds great. I'd take that over cremation.
Organ donation, first and foremost. Anything that's salvageable should be used to help others.

After that, well, I like the phrasing "light a match."

I would like some kind of memorial, only because when a friend of mine died in high school, he was buried in his home country. I never had a place to go to grieve, and that was extremely difficult for me in the months after he was gone. I feel like it'd have been easier if there had been somewhere I could go that represented him, but there was no memorial, his parents sold the house, and before long it was as though he'd never been there, save our memories.

So, I'd like to have some kind of memorial-- a tree with a plaque, a stone, something, somewhere. Just so people would have a place to go that connected them to me, if they wanted.
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Stolen.
Cull the organs and burn the rest. Toss off a ledge of your choice. I don't see the point of doing anything else.
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The cheapest thing that can be done. My moms cremation and calling hours costs are about $5k. We will be having a memorial in the summer. 1/2 of her ashes.will be spread at her house and the other 1/2 buried next to.her family in a family cemetary.

So I would say now I want to be cremated and do whatever with my ashes.
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If the composting of humans hasn't become common by the time I die (it's available in Sweden, last I read), just put me in a pine box with the ashes of my dogs.

(I'd actually prefer birch but I don't know......seems too fussy, you know? Defeats the purpose.)
Originally Posted by ninja dog
Mary Roach fan?

My organs will be harvested; my family can do whatever they wish with my remains.
ninja dog likes this.
Dear Family,

Wrap me in plain cotton or linen (get it from the sale rack at JoAnn fabric) and put me in the ground...no box, no cement tomb. Just dirt. A headstone would be OK. Do not pay a funeral home for embalming or preparation or transportation or visitation. Nuthin! If you feel people must visit, then lay me out in the living room and have a little goodbye-wake in the house. Serve plenty of liquore, please. Drive me to the green cemetary in the back of the family SUV...DO NOT pay for a funeral home limo...permission to transport dead folks is usually required from the local board of health, but you really CAN transport your own dead. If you can possibly swing it with the township, feel free to bury me in the backyard. Way back in the wooded area, if the roots aren't too difficult to get through.

I don't want to be cremated, because I think the process is too polluting to the environment and uses too many carbon resources. I think the Swedish composting method is a bit resource heavy too. I'll just have to live (haha) with the guilt of possibly polluting ground water with my rotting flesh in the ground. If it was good enough for dinosaurs and early humans, it's good enough for me.

And, please, for the love of all that is holy, do not waste your time saying prayers or church dogma junk about me. I don't need it, and, if I've raised my children right, they won't need the comfort of an imaginary god-world. Lean on each other and laugh about the good times. I'm happy to take the blame for most things...but please try to be forgiving of my mistakes. I didn't make them on purpose.

Love,
Mom
I'm an organ donor. I'd like to be cremated and my ashes sprinkled somewhere pretty after a memorial service with my family and friends. I definitely do NOT want an open casket funeral. Those give me the wiggins.
SpaghettiHead likes this.
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put me in the ground...no box, no cement tomb. Just dirt.
Originally Posted by RedCatWaves
I don't know if you've looked into this, but in a lot of places it's against the law to do this. It raises public health concerns.

Totally unrelated: Despite being millions and millions of dollars in debt to the federal government, Nicolas Cage recently had a 7ft tall pyramid constructed in a New Orleans cemetery to serve as his tomb. It's incredibly stupid but also pretty bad*ss.

Last edited by Eilonwy; 03-28-2012 at 08:16 PM.
Give my body to science, then cremate or bury the remains - whatever the med school does (at my school, they bury the remains in a special plot set aside for that purpose. They have a service to honor the deceased a couple times a year, inviting the families and friends).


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My dad wants to be wrapped in linen and put in a tree.

Everyone's different.

I would be ok with being dumped in the ocean to decompose. Probably the northern Pacific, that seems relatively quiet. Don't think I'd want to be cremated, though.

"In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer."

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Donate my organs and then either cremate me or bury me. But absolutely NO embalming.

It's really the choice of who I leave behind, I guess, but I wouldn't leave a cent to cover funeral costs. If they want it, they'll have to pay for it.
Eres o te haces?
put me in the ground...no box, no cement tomb. Just dirt.
Originally Posted by RedCatWaves
I don't know if you've looked into this, but in a lot of places it's against the law to do this. It raises public health concerns.
Originally Posted by Eilonwy


Of course I've looked into it. You are mistaken...most states do NOT have requirements to use boxes or vaults, or embalming either. Those are usually the requirement of the individual cemetaries. Some cemetaries are designating green spaces in recent years though and you can bury with or without a biodegradable box. You can bury in your backyard too, IF you don't have any local ordinances against it. You have to be aware that it may lower your property value though, because once buried, a body cannot be dug up without a court order, and most people don't want to buy a house with bodies in the spot where they might want to put in a pool. Most states only require 4 or 5 feet from the top of the body for burial, some require boxes, some don't. I don't think any require concrete vaults. Don't let the lies of the funeral industry fool you.

Caring for Your Own Dead by Lisa Carlson is a good book on the topic that lists laws, state by state.

Amazon.com: Caring for Your Own Dead: Final Act of Love (9780942679199): Lisa Carlson: Books
Give my body to science, then cremate or bury the remains - whatever the med school does (at my school, they bury the remains in a special plot set aside for that purpose. They have a service to honor the deceased a couple times a year, inviting the families and friends).


Sent from my iPhone using CurlTalk.
Originally Posted by PartyHair
I was speaking to someone at the pool the other day and he told me his MIL's body was donated for scientific research (she had MS) and her body was cremated at no cost to the family.
I'd like an open casket funeral, because I think it's important to see the person in death to grieve.

I'd like after the funeral to be held at my home. I'd much rather friends and family gather there than a restaurant or 'hall' which seems to cold and impersonal.

Then I'd like to be cremated and half my ashes kept by my family, and half of them spread around a secluded location, on a lake, in New England. I haven't been to said location, but I have it pictured in my mind if I ever see it.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I997 using CurlTalk App
I would like to give my organs to science, then stuff my body and use me as a driving buddy...
PartyHair, frau, NetG and 2 others like this.
I'd like an open casket funeral, because I think it's important to see the person in death to grieve.
Originally Posted by iroc


I agree. I think it's very important to look at our loved ones dead. It gives a note of needed reality and really does help in the grieving process.
Amneris likes this.

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