Josephine

Well I would hope it's not that common . But it's more common that most would think.

ninja dog

I'm deeply sorry to learn that.

moodydove

Wait, you've never heard of it happening? I mean yes, maybe you've never been witness to it, but that you've never even heard of it surprises me. I'm assuming you were responding to Josephine's post, btw

ETA: I guess I'm asking if this is a comepletely new phenomena to you. Like you've never heard, by any means (including tv, internet, radio, etc) of people telling their kids to stay away from black people? I feel like it's something that would come up in discussions of racism.

__________________
Big chop: 5/30/10
CG, clarify with Aveda Brilliant Shampoo when needed
Dense, medium-fine strands, lowish porosity. Avoiding glycerin outside the shower.
Cowash:Suave Coconut Conditioner.
Leave in: YtCucumbers and EVOO
Styling Products: Flaxseed gel, Phillip B Soft Hold Gel, KMF Upper Management Gel
DC: Doctored GVP or Suave conditioner
Cleanser: Bentonite clay

iroc

I've never had anyone say it to me. and I've never had anyone tell me that it was said to them.


Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I997 using CurlTalk App

__________________

ninja dog

What iroc said, exactly.

(My father did tell me to stay away from a couple ((white) who were planning to have clowns perform at their wedding, though.)

curlyhoneyb

Words of wisdom, Amneris...I would give you a billion likes for this comment if I could!

curlyarca

I agree, I do not want racists around me, either.


If you live in New England, particularly Northern New England, then there's a good chance that you rarely have to interact with black people on a regular basis now or even in childhood. Not surprised if you're white and have never heard it.

And there's always that head in the sand thing. Seriously?! This is 2012. The jig is up. Really, little white kids growing up in all white environments, I give them a break; they really don't know. But grown-assed adults? Let's just in the immortal vernacular of twitter #stopthatlyin. Fact is, if you're an adult white person in America and you're still holding on to this ignorance plea, please. Stop. You're only making yourself look really, really bad. It's like me saying "Wait! Native Americans were driven off their land? And here I thought Lake Memphremagog was just a fun Louis Carroll name!"

And this is why black people everywhere know who Emmitt Till is, and still today white people say, "Emmitt who? Oh, hey, wasn't he a football player for the Cowboys?"

__________________

"In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer."

4a, mbl, low porosity, normal thickness, fine hair.

tae082

This is sooooo true. While living in Ct on many occasions I was called ghetto. It used to piss me off like nothing else. It took me a while to realize these people were ignorant and had never had much interaction with a black person. I am so far from ghetto it isn't even funny.

tae082

That is interesting since I live in Pg and live in a very affluent area. This town is far from being any part of the ghetto.

ninja dog

I know who Emmett Till is.

Nor am I lying about not having heard anyone warn me, or anyone else I know, away from people of color.

This is where the discussion always breaks down here on NC, imo. I'm not trying to whitewash (pun intended) anything. If I, or some other white poster, says that this has not been our experience, why is it impossible to believe we're being truthful? To doubt that all white people have heard of/been told to "stay away from brown" is to lump us all together in the same way it's painful for any disparate group to be judged similar due to color or creed or gender.

I don't know why it's easier to believe that all or even most white people have been warned away from PoC, when many of us have not. I think that's a form of generalizing somewhat equivalent to what you're (gy) describing happens to PoC. And it's similarly emotionally hurtful.

And I will say this as well: there has been more than one occasion in my life when I have been out and about and had a child of color pulled away by her parents when s/he first addressed me, and I replied. Is that much different from you're describing? To me, it sounds a lot like subbrock's experience.

My point is, and always has been, that while the horrors of racist history are definitely 99 per cent our doing, what does it mean now when bias continues from both sides? How does retaliatory behavior help when we all have to live together, which I (optimistically) believe we all want to do in peace?

I know it's human nature to overlook our collective best interests in favor of emotion. Most of us do it, including me. I just wish there was a way to enact a rapprochement. The only solution I've come up with is to personalize societal change, and to tell the truth about my own experiences, whether ot not they're believed or accepted.

curlypearl

I agree with NinjaDog and don't see why her statements aren't accepted as the truth of her experience. It may not be representative, and maybe many white children are told that (!) but I believe her and her experience is not unique.

I know who Emmett Till was and I was never told anything about staying away from any people or group of people and never heard anything like that until I read this thread.

I live in NYC and I'm 66.

__________________
2/c and some 3A. Modified CG.
Highly porous. Color over grey.
Best 1st day method: Super Soaker
Protein treatment HG: Curl Junkie Repair Me
Conditioners: Curl Junkie Beauticurls Strengthening Conditioner,
Deep condish: Curl Junkie Curl Rehab
Stylers:Curl Junkie CCCC or CCCL
in combo with a gel, usually KCCC
Trying Curl Keeper - still experimenting

Every day is a gift

thelio

I have to agree with you. If you dont like someone, stay away from them! not just in relation to race, but in all circumstances. if i dont like someone i'm going no where near them. if you are not going to make the effort to get to know someone, and not just see race, just avoid them. even if you need them,ie: doctor, police officer, firefighter, teachers, ect., go hide out in a cave and fend for yourself!

i would love for everyone to get along and not run from someone because of their race, but those who run, should keep running. the rest of us would be fine without you.

I'm embarressed this idiot is greek!

Josephine

That's not what she was saying. I absolutely believe you and others have not been told that! I definitely don't assume everyone was raised to be racist.

But I also used to be shocked that people have never heard that other people are racist and are raised that way and other things that go on in the world. I was actually just having this discussion with my brother. But I realized it's not something you would discuss with other people nor something that directly affects your life. It is being in a bubble, but I can't say I haven't done the same with issues that don't affect me directly until I've been exposed to it or have met people that tell me about their experiences.

ninja dog

Oh, no ---- I know there's plenty of racism in the world, believe me. To not know that, I agree with curlarca: you (gy) would have to be living under a rock. Or hiding your head in the sand. The times I've seen it in play have been truly sickening. And they haven't been few. Without exception, they've been maddening, and frustrating, and exasperating, and painful.

My point was merely meant to express that I (and hopefully others) have never been told to stay away from PoC. Period. That it's not a ubiquitous statement among white people ---- ime, racism is rarely that direct (though it sure can be).

LadyV69

The main reason why some blacks have trouble believing that a number of whites haven't been told to stay away from them and why some blacks suggest that their children avoid whites is that people don't ****ing TALK and LISTEN to each other. Racism and prejudice only gets perpetuated the more we avoid each other.

__________________
Fine haired, low density, highly porous curly kinky lady
Last relaxer: Not sure. 3/08 or 4/08
BC'd: 9/18/09
Co-wash: Suave Naturals, HEHH, Trader Joe's Tea Tree Tingle, CJ Daily Fix
Leave-In: KCKT, Giovanni Direct Leave-In, CJ Smoothing Lotion
Stylers: ORS Twist and Loc Gel, KCCC, Ecostyler, SheaMoisture Deep Treatment Masque
Deep Conditioner: DevaCurl Heaven In Hair, CJ Deep Fix

http://confessionsofladyv69.wordpress.com/​

ninja dog

I agree with you, LadyV.

iroc

Nobody said it doesn't happen. Nobody alluded to the idea that it never happens. But I think its fair that we give our experiences too to say, no, all white people do not behave like that.

That doesn't mean we have our heads in the sand, it means that just because the crude opinionated people are louder and in your face, doesn't mean they are the spokesmen/example of the rest of us.

And while I live in an area that may not experience it now (although we do have cities nearby up here in small town north) - I grew up in a section 8 apartment complex 20 miles outside of Atlanta until I was a teenager. I've stayed at my mothers friends familys farm in Farmville Virginia where she showed me the bus stop where she had to wait for the colored bus to take her to school. I've attended services at the predominently black Greater Framingham Church. I'm not trying to brag or prove anything here, but I do not think I have lived under a rock.

I still don't think its fair to group all white people into a category because of how you've seen some people act. At the heart of it, its no different than anyone being judgmental and stereotypical of any race.

I'm ashamed by the racism that goes on too. I don't know how or why it keeps going on, or why its such a part of our ongoing history in the first place. It saddens me.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I997 using CurlTalk App

__________________

Saria

Honestly, the problem is the need to derail with how not all white people are like that, "but I'm not one of those", "now you're being just as bad", and the general defensiveness when discussing these issues. Great, this doesn't apply to you, so why are you making it about you?

__________________

Amneris

I didn't think anyone was accusing ninja dog & co. of lying. I did think that the breakdown was occurring because some of the white posters were making comments that could be seen as flippant to some posters of colour - I am sure the white posters meant well and were trying to lighten the mood or show solidarity, but it came off to me as a little unintentionally irritating. I can understand the need to separate yourself from ignorance like the original post detailed, but sometimes, what is offered with good intentions (a statement that not all white people are like that) can come across as minimizing the experiences people of colour have had (in my humble opinion.) I think this is a common scenario on NC and in real life too.

I personally doubt that most white racists are crass enough to openly tell their kids to "stay away from Black people", so I wouldn't expect that many white people were told that so blatantly. I think the message is sent subtly and non-verbally in most cases, so that people may not even realize that they have received and learned it. Hence why white people worry about the ghetto, and thugs, and certain neighbourhoods, and "scary" people, and "trust their instincts" and "don't talk to strangers" and never once think they are being racist (people in general, not necessarily those on this board or thread.)

__________________
Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali

Saria

^Exactly.
As an example of what I said above, on another site I visit, the Sandusky case was being discussed and it was brought up how rape culture is present in professional sports. This dude feels the need to point out how the team he played for does not tolerate any sort of sexual abuse, and how if fans harass women at games, they are made to leave the stadium, and how offensive it was to have someone say that professional sports feed into rape culture. And really, it's a discussion about young boys who were raped and silenced because a sports program was basically more important and you're here talking about how sports programs aren't all bad, and not all athletes are degenerates? Really?

__________________