kimmidawn

+1, exactly. I don't ever fault anyone for having distrust, especially based on their past experience. However, at the same time, when people express a similar viewpoint (of basically they couldn't be with a woman who was interested in both men and women because they couldn't trust them or something to that extent), it is hurtful.

@HelloBunny, I do appreciate your insight too though; I think us being able to have this type of conversation is helpful for both sides. For me, to understand what experiences can lead to distrust like that, and hopefully for other people, to also get another viewpoint.

__________________
2b, fine texture, normal porosity & elasticity (CG as of 12/2011)

Low-poo: UFD Rich & Funky
Cowash: VO5 Kiwi Lime
RO: Tresemme Naturals, Aubrey Organics GPB, Ion Effective Care, MillCreek Keratin
PT/DT: IAgirl's PT, GVP CB
LI: KCKT, Cure Care, CJ CCCC Lite
Styling: Curl Keeper, As I Am Jelly, UFD Curly Magic, CJ Curl Queen, TIGI Strong Hold Mousse


http://public.fotki.com/kdawn12/


^^ day 1 of going CG; avatar = 6 months later

luvmylocs

i think guys that like guys for sex will always be drawn to that and a woman, no matter how fine or freaky just can't compare to that. i appreciate your openness but it seems like being open to a man that wants men for sex is opening the door to the constant threat of cheating. i guess the same could be said of women and i think it's true depending on what role in the sex the woman tends to play. all interesting.

__________________
a dreamy pisces
please recycle, it matters...
i change lives...through fitness
i'm more relaxed being natural

amandamarie

People are always drawn to qualities their monogamous partners lack because people are attracted to a vast multiplicity of qualities and no single partner can ever have them all. To say someone who dates me or other posters on this thread is "opening the door for cheating" is unfair and untrue, because people are capable of making the decision to remain faithful to their partners or of making the decision to cheat regardless of their sexual orientation. I'm really hurt, offended, and feeling attacked by what you just said.

__________________
2a/b (really thick but sort of fine with pretty weak waves), medium-to-fine texture, normal porosity (I think). Doesn't seem to like protein.

Favorite products: Kinky-Curly Knot Today, Kinky-Curly Curling Custard, Curl Junkie Curls in a Bottle, Curl Junkie Curl Rehab, Curl Junkie Curl Assurance Smoothing Lotion, Shea Moisture Curl and Style Milk, homemade flaxseed gel.

Still looking for a cleanser I like.

luvmylocs

i'm sorry i hurt your feelings and i certainly wasn't trying to "attack" you in my post. that was not my intent.

__________________
a dreamy pisces
please recycle, it matters...
i change lives...through fitness
i'm more relaxed being natural

Corrina777

I've been lurking for a while, mainly because I've been trying to figure out exactly what I wanted to say. I'm going to apologize in advance, because sometimes when I'm writing stuff out it doesn't come across the way I intend and I really don't want to offend anyone here (the main reason for my hesitation in posting).

I'm not sure how I would label myself. I've always been in heterosexual relationships, but sometimes attracted to other women. I'm not opposed to a relationship with a woman; it's just never happened. Maybe it's the long hair, maybe it's not. Could definitely be partly not knowing how to even begin to approach a woman. Could be that I live in one of the few conservative bastions of New York.

I don't think that being attracted to both men and women makes someone more pre-disposed to cheating. I also don't think that someone who is bisexual necessarily feels like something is missing from a relationship. Just because you like men and women doesn't mean that you have the need to be with both a man and a woman at the same time. In my mind, it's always been about the connection with the person as an individual, not what's in their pants. Some people just cheat. Some do it once and never again, and for others it's something that will never change (slightly OT- read an article about this several years back that made a lot of sense to me). I think there are people who will use bisexuality as an excuse for this behavior, but I definitely don't think it's fair to categorize an entire population. (As an analogy, I dated two different guys from Texas. They both cheated on me. I could turn around and say that Texans must all be cheaters, or I could say that I had the bad luck of dating two cheaters who happened to be Texans. Because I'm sure that not all Texans cheat, and I'm sure there are plenty of cheaters in the other 49 states as well).

I apologize if I started rambling...

__________________

3a/f/iii Before the chop- Donated to Locks of Love, January 2013
Modified CG since 11/5/11
CO-WASH: VO5 Vanilla Mint Tea Clarifying, DevaCare No-Poo
CLARIFY: CHS Treatment Shampoo (used prior to PT/DT)
RO: DevaCare One Condition, Regis Olive Oil
LI: Cure Care, As I Am Leave-In
STYLE: Re:Coil, Curl Keeper, Biotera Gel, Deva Ultra Defining Gel, GVP Liquid Sculpting Gel, Curls Rock Amplifier and Strong Hold Mousse
PT/DT: IAGirl's PT, One n' Only Argan Hydrating Mask

diaspora

I agree with everything you wrote, Corrina, and Amandamarie, I felt offended by Luvmylocs post as well. I was certainly not inviting cheating by dating the guys I did. And both of the bi guys I dated, while interested in sex or relationships with men while they were seeing me, neither of them cheated. They were mature and decent enough to tell me how they felt. In the relationship that got serious, the reasons we broke up had nothing at all to do with his desire to have sex with men. He had commitment issues like lots of people do, and that's ultimately why I left.

__________________
Formerly Urbancurl.
Medium-high density, fine-medium, low-normal porosity, 3b/c, permanent color.
CG, no heat, combs, brushes, parabens.
Fall/Winter HG=Alba Botanica Soft Hold Style Cream.
Spring/Summer HG=MGA Sculpting Gel
Current fave LI=Madre Labs Made by Nature for Baby Conditioner.
Limit oils, butters, glycerin.

amandamarie

Labels suck, Corrina; I don't care to use them either. I firmly think, if you consider that to be a part of who you are, it doesn't really matter whether you've been in a relationship with a woman or not.

__________________
2a/b (really thick but sort of fine with pretty weak waves), medium-to-fine texture, normal porosity (I think). Doesn't seem to like protein.

Favorite products: Kinky-Curly Knot Today, Kinky-Curly Curling Custard, Curl Junkie Curls in a Bottle, Curl Junkie Curl Rehab, Curl Junkie Curl Assurance Smoothing Lotion, Shea Moisture Curl and Style Milk, homemade flaxseed gel.

Still looking for a cleanser I like.

Always@night

I lurked awhile before joining NC but It's always nice to know there is a variety of people on hair forums
A hair forum shy lesbian in this corner. Hello everyone.(:

diaspora

Welcome, Always@Night!

__________________
Formerly Urbancurl.
Medium-high density, fine-medium, low-normal porosity, 3b/c, permanent color.
CG, no heat, combs, brushes, parabens.
Fall/Winter HG=Alba Botanica Soft Hold Style Cream.
Spring/Summer HG=MGA Sculpting Gel
Current fave LI=Madre Labs Made by Nature for Baby Conditioner.
Limit oils, butters, glycerin.

Always@night

Thank you, I'm happy to be In the curlyworld.