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amandamarie 04-09-2012 04:34 PM

Any LGBT Curlies?
 
Just out of curiosity ... I feel like we've got a lot of married women and mothers around here and I'm curious whether anyone else dates women or maybe has a different gender ID/expression and if so whether you feel like that affects how you think about your hair?

(Personally, obsessing over my hair makes me feel absurdly feminine in a way that I don't usually, but if it's going to get me attention from girls ... :angel12:)

ninja dog 04-09-2012 04:38 PM

There's a few; I know Minxy is gay (she's wonderful), and someone else is out as well, but I'm not sure of her name. She's nice, though ---- not sure she's still posting much.

There's plenty of us singles around, too.

amandamarie 04-09-2012 06:59 PM

:wav:

:occasion7:

curlygirlyinVA 04-09-2012 07:15 PM

I'm bi but in a heterosexual relationship and I'm a mother. :-P

amandamarie 04-09-2012 10:28 PM

Oooooh how epic fail of me it was not to mention that possibility, considering that I date men sometimes too! :oops:

I think I just meant that there seems to be an awful lot of heteronormativity on this board, haha.

ninja dog 04-10-2012 07:28 AM

I like that word. It's descriptive, scientific, and yet obscurely funny.

09robiha 04-10-2012 11:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by amandamarie (Post 1927700)
Just out of curiosity ... I feel like we've got a lot of married women and mothers around here and I'm curious whether anyone else dates women or maybe has a different gender ID/expression and if so whether you feel like that affects how you think about your hair?

(Personally, obsessing over my hair makes me feel absurdly feminine in a way that I don't usually, but if it's going to get me attention from girls ... :angel12:)

me :color: <--- awesome gay pride rainbow smiley!

i dont it affects how i think about my hair although everyone assumes im not gay because i dont have short hair or boyish hair. Its super annoying! I think its because my hair is very femine looking and people just assume femine equals straight. One this i can say there is a HELL of alot of hair in my relationship. My gf has hip length hair and i have waist length...try deal with that in your bathroom plug!!!

Interestingly tho all in all tho most girls i have dated take great pride in there hair. More so than any of my straight girl friends...

amandamarie 04-10-2012 12:50 PM

Hahahaha my ex has long curly hair and we used to joke about that all the time too! "A lot of hair and a lot of chest," I remember saying at one point.

Then again neither of us has/had waist-length or hip-length hair ... that's a lot to handle.

My other ex-girlfriend listens to me talk about my hair and is like, "Oh. Okay. Cool. Don't care." though.

And now I feel the need to explain the fact that I'm still close to both my exes except I feel like it's not too hard because even though I don't identify as a lesbian, I am pretty much this: **** Lesbians Say - YouTube

HelloBunny 04-22-2012 03:17 PM

I'm a lesbian, and mmmm... I don't think it has changed how I view my hair lol. My girlfriend wears her hair in a faux hawk, though. I've always been pretty hair conscious, but now more so now that I'm natural. I have to limit how much I talk or complain about my hairr, because she doesn't like talking much about hair unless I'm saying something positive. :X But, on the other hand I understand why since she has straight blond hair and it's like the lowest maintenance ever.

kimmidawn 04-22-2012 03:59 PM

I'm bisexual, and while I tend to be in heterosexual/heteronormative relationships, I'm actually more attracted to girls.

kimmidawn 04-22-2012 04:01 PM

And I don't think it really affects how I think about my hair/anyone else's hair, but I never really thought about it.

amandamarie 04-22-2012 04:53 PM

Hmm I brought it up because I feel like there are a lot of stereotypes about lesbians' hair but it seems like no one here really cares. Fair enough! Just seemed like something I should ask about on a hair board, haha.

Kimmidawn, do you find it's sort of a numbers game? I'd rather date a girl but there are way more men interested in me.

kimmidawn 04-22-2012 05:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by amandamarie (Post 1938810)
Hmm I brought it up because I feel like there are a lot of stereotypes about lesbians' hair but it seems like no one here really cares. Fair enough! Just seemed like something I should ask about on a hair board, haha.

Kimmidawn, do you find it's sort of a numbers game? I'd rather date a girl but there are way more men interested in me.

I would definitely agree with the stereotypes about lesbian hair styles (e.g. short crew cut = stereotypical butch lesbian on tv). There are certain haircuts that if a woman has, often combined with a certain way of dressing, she is assumed to be lesbian. Granted, I don't think that it's as assumed now as maybe ten years ago, but I think a lot of people still have that immediate thought.

As far as my preferences, I definitely would like to date a girl, but it is somewhat of a numbers game. Most of my close friends are guys, but my "types" tend to be to go for very masculine men (muscular, tall, etc) and very feminine women (longer hair, more "stereotypically feminine" meaning like lipstick lesbians). I have definitely had feelings for men and women who didn't fit my "types", but those are just more what I go for. Like I said, I'd really like to date a girl, but thanks to society, I think it's somewhat "easier" to date a guy, both because of the numbers and because meeting and dating a girl can take a little more time.

kimmidawn 04-22-2012 05:19 PM

And because I don't automatically come off as lesbian or bisexual, I think that has to do with me getting less approached by women compared to how often i get approached by men.

diaspora 04-22-2012 10:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by amandamarie (Post 1927999)
...
I think I just meant that there seems to be an awful lot of heteronormativity on this board, haha.

Funny, a curly-haired friend and I were talking about this. I was suggesting she check out the hair boards because she's asking me questions about her hair that I can't answer, but she was wondering if she'd be annoyed by the culture here because she's queer.

Curlyminx 04-22-2012 11:10 PM

Ah!!! So I have finally found where Ninja said she mentioned me! Just checking in.

Hi, hello!

SusieSuze 04-22-2012 11:39 PM

I really have no idea what my sexual proclivities has to do with my hair.

Other than hair is a sexy thing.

If I want to look sexy, what does it matter if I am dressing up for my male partner or for the group of people (trans/bi/gay/lesbian/straight) that I wish to appeal to.

Sexual orientation has nothing at all to do with how sexy one wants to appear.

It seems to me there are a lot of people here that talk about church and mention their religious ties. Perhaps fear is one of the big reasons people don't talk about being in an alternative group. Or maybe the reason is that sexual preference is really no ones business and really has nothing to do with their hair, and talking about their sexual preferences is really off topic for the most part, on a board that is about hair.

What is interesting however, is that you think that the act of wanting to appear more sexually attractive is only a feminine thing. Have you any idea how much the metrosexual types preen themselves? They work out for hours, cleanse, toner, mousse, gel... you name it just like us girls. The wealthy ones spend thousands on clothes, shoes, watches, cars and whatever, just to appear sexy enough for the women they want. It's ALL ABSURD. But it's normal and we all do it.

So if you're worried about being too feminine, don't.

amandamarie 04-23-2012 01:07 AM

Hello hello everyone!

Diaspora, I don't think she would be necessarily annoyed by the culture here any more than in any other not-specifically-designated-as-queer space. It's a pretty pervasive thing. I find that I'm a lot more comfortable in any environment when I'm not having to wonder if I'm going to be alienating people by talking about "gay things" too much or at all, because I know who might have similar experiences to mine. Which is the reason I started this thread. Maybe it's just me, though? I just feel like it's easy to feel a little outnumbered, in the world at large, and since being queer isn't exactly 100% socially accepted, it's nice to be able to be supportive of one another.

Kimmidawn, YES, that is exactly what I meant. I get approached by men a LOT more often because I don't get coded as not-straight. I don't usually take them up on it, but I feel like if I were to be more open and approachable in general, I would end up dating guys a lot rather than pretty much just falling for female friends ... Haha.

amandamarie 04-23-2012 01:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SusieSuze (Post 1939181)
I really have no idea what my sexual proclivities has to do with my hair.

Other than hair is a sexy thing.

If I want to look sexy, what does it matter if I am dressing up for my male partner or for the group of people (trans/bi/gay/lesbian/straight) that I wish to appeal to.

Sexual orientation has nothing at all to do with how sexy one wants to appear.

It seems to me there are a lot of people here that talk about church and mention their religious ties. Perhaps fear is one of the big reasons people don't talk about being in an alternative group. Or maybe the reason is that sexual preference is really no ones business and really has nothing to do with their hair, and talking about their sexual preferences is really off topic for the most part, on a board that is about hair.

What is interesting however, is that you think that the act of wanting to appear more sexually attractive is only a feminine thing. Have you any idea how much the metrosexual types preen themselves? They work out for hours, cleanse, toner, mousse, gel... you name it just like us girls. The wealthy ones spend thousands on clothes, shoes, watches, cars and whatever, just to appear sexy enough for the women they want. It's ALL ABSURD. But it's normal and we all do it.

So if you're worried about being too feminine, don't.

Thanks for your input, but that's actually not what I meant at all. I realize I wasn't very clear, but what I meant was that for a lot of people, femininity is very much tied in with their hair and the general principle of how much work and time they put into their appearance. Not always, not for everyone, but for a lot of people. I was wondering if anyone wanted to chime in and express something about their hair and experience of gender that they might not feel comfortable expressing elsewhere on the boards for reasons you've outlined pretty well.

What I meant about my own femininity was just that it's not typical for me to feel that way, and the fact that this is where that side of me comes out is another interesting piece to incorporate into my personal identity matrix. I'm certainly not uncomfortable with it, and DEFINITELY not passing judgment on anyone of any gender who chooses to fuss over their hair a lot. It's just a thing I've noticed.

09robiha 04-23-2012 02:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kimmidawn (Post 1938828)
And because I don't automatically come off as lesbian or bisexual, I think that has to do with me getting less approached by women compared to how often i get approached by men.

This happens to me too...I do not look like a stereotypical lesbian at all - and get approached by men alot. It usually has to be up to me to approach a woman but confidence is key :)


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