How do I ask my manager to stop micro managing me?

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  • 1 Post By kindredspirit1983
  • 1 Post By PRINCETON
  • 2 Post By Josephine
  • 1 Post By scrills

I have quarterly check-in tomorrow. If it was up to me, I would just quit right now. But in the last couple of months, my manager has turned the micro-managing way up. And it's not just me, it's everyone in my department.

I tried to address it once, asking to help me manage my weakness (over-committing) instead of asking me about every little task. No dice. She went back to same ways the very next day.

Today it got to the point where I was in tearing and jsut left. I'm so frustrated with her a) micromanaging b) making decisions based on fears c) just making bad decisions in general

I think I'm gonna type something up and read it off the paper so I don't get emotional, but any tips on how to word it?


TIA
Do you have to submit reports to your boss of what you're working on? I ask because I submit weekly reports to my boss to keep her apprised of the status of my projects, and I think this is very helpful to both of us.

She is generally not a micro-manager, but when she is under alot of stress, she can does tend to get a little "micromanagy". I have recently started adding more detail to my reports and this must be helping because she rarely checks in on me unless something major is going on.
Formerly ladyjag123
Oh, and I think I understand what you mean about making decisions out of fear. For a while, I felt like I had to rush into doing things so that I can have enough to fill up my status reports. But I figured out that my boss wasn't interested in seeing a checked off "to do" list; she just wanted to know what was going on with major stuff in case higher ups asked. This changed the way I did my status reports. Now I think that she is so bombarded with information from me she doesn't bother me anymore. Best way to stop a micromanager!

Perhaps having her help you prioritize will help?
Formerly ladyjag123
report - I created it (because I couldn't handle it anymore and thought we needed a system) and she ignores it. We talk about something on Tuesday (via the report) and Wednesday morning she is asking me about it

Fear decisions - She is afraid the tech team will make a mistake. so instead of coming up with a systematic/automated process, I will be processing 20K+ records manually because she "afraid" of MIS

She didn't want me to create a central database. She fought me on it (she's not great at Access) but a year later she couldn't live without it.

Basically, if she doesn't understand it, she runs from it, even if I understand it/it's my responsibility she fights it and eventually gives in
Not to get too off topic but I'm convinced that the current economy has given bosses the go-ahead to micro-manage,abuse, and take advantage of their current employees because we should be "happy to have a job."

Document document document. And a sit down conversation perhaps addressing some of the things you documented, and explaining how it's affecting you? Maybe that's too bold, but I would do it.
LadyV69 likes this.
I need to follow this thread. My manager is doing a detail and her replacement is a micromanager and an idiot on top of that. He has been managing the group that I used to work in and everyone dislikes him. Y'all pray for me cause I don't have the patience for foolishness.
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report - I created it (because I couldn't handle it anymore and thought we needed a system) and she ignores it. We talk about something on Tuesday (via the report) and Wednesday morning she is asking me about it

Fear decisions - She is afraid the tech team will make a mistake. so instead of coming up with a systematic/automated process, I will be processing 20K+ records manually because she "afraid" of MIS

She didn't want me to create a central database. She fought me on it (she's not great at Access) but a year later she couldn't live without it.

Basically, if she doesn't understand it, she runs from it, even if I understand it/it's my responsibility she fights it and eventually gives in
Originally Posted by scrills
Ugh! I wish I had some brilliant advice on the matter but I do not. I'm in a situation where we have no management at all because the bosses have not one clue. The peanuts are running the gallery All I have to offer is a sincere, I'm sorry. I do agree with documentation! I believe, no matter what job you have, that is a smart route when facing problems with co workers/managers. All too often conversations about the issues fall on deaf ears, and CYA is your only option.
When I hear terms like "hipster" I think, who told cliques they could leave high school??

The only way to fight back against people like her is to (1) go ahead and agree to do things her way but (2) run your own system parallel to hers and then let your entire department know that yours is ahead of the game while the other system she recommended is failing.

You have to actually implement the proof and then let everyone including her boss know that you have something worth everyones attention.


PRINCETON
scrills likes this.
Thursday- Meeting was a little unexpected but I handle I technical partner. Manager freaks out and wants to bring it to project sponsors

Friday - I schedule the meeting but after speaking to the project sponsor, he's fine with new direction plus we already have time to talk about meeting. he says cancel extra meeting

Friday - I cancel extra meeting

Monday - Manager reschedules extra meeting with half the attendees. Attendees gets all riled up and ignore my suggestions on those this could work. I leave work in tears of frustration

Tuesday - Meeting with tech partner. Things EXPLODE. People are on the all telling each other to shut up and making threats. I can't believe the language people are using on a business call. Again, i try to call situation and tell the guy we will consider his suggestions

Wednesday - manager's manger has to calm tech guy

Thurs - they meet without me

Thurs - they come to me and ask to to schedule time to discuss plan that I originally came up with in the meeting the Thursday prior


So basically a week later, lots of ANGRY meetings and a ton of burnt bridges, we are back to my original suggestion. So pissed
I have a meeting with her on Tuesday. I plan to

1) ask her how I can her to trust me/have more ownership on the projects I'm assigned to

2) Tell her I'm posting for a new job


I know she's already pissed. When her manager came in on Thurs, he kinda apologized and said he knows they need to trust. I sent him an email, CC'ed her, thanking him for telling me he thinks my role is important and that he trusts me
I do not blame you for being pissed! I would be too. That sounds incredibly frustrating. It's hard to have a remotely nice work environment when no one is listening, trusting, and people are fighting. I've seen similar, and it is mind blowing when people are being that un professional. I hope your meeting with her goes well, and that things will change. At least one person is acknowledging the need for more trust in you. That's a start.
When I hear terms like "hipster" I think, who told cliques they could leave high school??

In my experience you can't. You can technically but they won't change.
scrills and cympreni like this.
My therapist always says focus on what you need (and why) and not what they are doing "wrong". I have to keep this on mind when speaking to her
How did it go, scrills? I would have asked yesterday but I've spent all of today thinkin' it was Tuesday. Lol. I'm confused occasionally after I work night shifts.
When I hear terms like "hipster" I think, who told cliques they could leave high school??

I didn't do it. I spoke with my therapist first and she advised against it. I am posting for another position. Because I need my manager to approve it, I decided not to address it unless I don't get the other position. I need her to be on my side

At first, she was excited for me but now she's seems to be taking my possible more very personal. That means I have to tread lightly. She just called me into her office and asked me to be brutally honest (about whether it was something she was doing to make me want to leave). Nope. I didn't fall for it. I told I would get back to her and when i it will be with a fluff answer

If I don't get the job, I will address it
Josephine likes this.
Since you have decided to post for the other position, that was sound advice from your therapist, and a good decision. And an even better one to not take the bait on your managers question! Hopefully everything will go smoothly, you'll get the other position, and won't have so much drama. There is always some, no matter the job, but it's better when you can put yourself in a less stressful or tense situation. Best of luck!!
When I hear terms like "hipster" I think, who told cliques they could leave high school??

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