Very Disturbing: Honor Killing of Virgin

RedCatWave's, I know you mean well, but...There is nothing I hate more than people who are not from my culture teaching me about it.

I'm sure the internet has many things which I find , but I'm not talking about the internet here. I'm talking about what your average woman does in the US compared to what your average woman does in the ME.
I hope I didn't sound rude, but, that's the way I see it.

I haven't been around American people to tell you how I think it is, but, from the way you portray yourselves in movies..etc, I can tell you that I feel it's very differnt here.

I have never heard of more than 2 people having sex here

I have never heard of people having gay/lesbian sex just to try it, curious ...etc

Your average, boring sex without marriage is here, yo put it simply.
Originally Posted by sarasara
Sara, I don't think you sounded rude. I'm just curious as to what you think Americans do. This post and the previous one make it sound like you think most Americans have threesomes/orgies or invite someone to watch all the time. Maybe they do more than people in the Middle East--that wouldn't surprise me--but it's far from routine or something everyone has done.

Also keep in mind that movies are for entertainment--they're not supposed to represent how the average American lives, and they're not made by people who live the way the average American does.

Most Americans/Europeans have had multiple sexual partners outside of marriage, which I think is very to Middle Eastern or Asian peoples.

Edited b/c I can't spell
I hope I didn't sound rude, but, that's the way I see it.

I haven't been around American people to tell you how I think it is, but, from the way you portray yourselves in movies..etc, I can tell you that I feel it's very differnt here.

I have never heard of more than 2 people having sex here

I have never heard of people having gay/lesbian sex just to try it, curious ...etc

Your average, boring sex without marriage is here, yo put it simply.
Originally Posted by sarasara
Sara, I don't think you sounded rude. I'm just curious as to what you think Americans do. This post and the previous one make it sound like you think most Americans have threesomes/orgies or invite someone to watch all the time. Maybe they do more than people in the Middle East--that wouldn't surprise me--but it's far from routine or something everyone has done.
Also keep in mind that movies are for entertainment--they're not supposed to represent how the average American lives, and they're not made by people who live the way the average American does.
Originally Posted by iris427
And its not just America (although I know for the sake of the discussion we're talking about America). The fact that there are parts of the world that cater to sex tourists boggles my own mind.
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Iris, Redcatwaves,geeky- I'm not judging you by your movies-but

When you say American movies don't always portray real-life, I'll also say that Arab movies don't portray real life.

The differnce is, in American movies, there are threesomes.

In a Kuwaiti movie for example, you won't find anyhting more shocking than 2 people holding hands.

If you had a survey in the US for people who've had threesomes...etc, I'm sure that the percent will be much more than the percent you'll find in the ME.

A woman in the US who's had a threesome may be considered a "good" girl.

A woman in the ME who's had a threesome is considered the lowest form of life God created. (no offense to anyone, just trying to show you the difference)
Most Americans/Europeans have had multiple sexual partners outside of marriage, which I think is very to Middle Eastern or Asian peoples.

Edited b/c I can't spell
Originally Posted by KateRoberts
but I'm talking about having multiple partners at the same time, as in, in the room with you. I don't think most sexual encounters in the US would have witnesses either--unless the kids or your roommate accidentally walked in on you

Most Americans/Europeans have had multiple sexual partners outside of marriage, which I think is very to Middle Eastern or Asian peoples.

Edited b/c I can't spell
Originally Posted by KateRoberts
but I'm talking about having multiple partners at the same time, as in, in the room with you. I don't think most sexual encounters in the US would have witnesses either--unless the kids or your roommate accidentally walked in on you
Originally Posted by iris427


NM what I wrote.
Most Americans/Europeans have had multiple sexual partners outside of marriage, which I think is very to Middle Eastern or Asian peoples.

Edited b/c I can't spell
Originally Posted by KateRoberts
You mean most American/European women. I dont think they are suprised by the men doing it. The protrayal I have of the eastern culture is that men are 'sluts' but it's okay.
I can't post the links here, but I just did a google search for "middle eastern porn" and got quite an eyeful. I don't think the USA owns the market on immorality.
Iris, Redcatwaves,geeky- I'm not judging you by your movies-but

When you say American movies don't always portray real-life, I'll also say that Arab movies don't portray real life.

The differnce is, in American movies, there are threesomes.

In a Kuwaiti movie for example, you won't find anyhting more shocking than 2 people holding hands.

If you had a survey in the US for people who've had threesomes...etc, I'm sure that the percent will be much more than the percent you'll find in the ME.

A woman in the US who's had a threesome may be considered a "good" girl.

A woman in the ME who's had a threesome is considered the lowest form of life God created. (no offense to anyone, just trying to show you the difference)
Originally Posted by sarasara
I understand your point, sarasara.

ETA: I don't think you mean that the majority of Americans have threesomes, but you mean that it takes something like a threesome on screen to shock and excite American audiences who are used to seeing and engaging in sex and don't see it as a big deal, whereas holding hands or kissing or sex between two people would be more than enough to shock and excite Middle Eastern audiences... and so Americans who want to be risque probably also go further than Middle Easterns who want to be risque.
Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali











Most Americans/Europeans have had multiple sexual partners outside of marriage, which I think is very to Middle Eastern or Asian peoples.

Edited b/c I can't spell
Originally Posted by KateRoberts
It's kind of to me too, especially when people talk openly about it, and I'm not Middle Eastern or Asian, so I can definitely see where they are coming from!

I think that other parts of the world definitely have promiscuity and so on too, but the difference is they don't talk about it or seem to take "pride" in it as much - it's still seen as somewhat shameful.
Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali











Most Americans/Europeans have had multiple sexual partners outside of marriage, which I think is very to Middle Eastern or Asian peoples.

Edited b/c I can't spell
Originally Posted by KateRoberts
It's kind of to me too, especially when people talk openly about it, and I'm not Middle Eastern or Asian, so I can definitely see where they are coming from!

I think that other parts of the world definitely have promiscuity and so on too, but the difference is they don't talk about it or seem to take "pride" in it as much - it's still seen as somewhat shameful.
Originally Posted by Amneris
Exactly what I mean! There's no locker room talk....
Most Americans/Europeans have had multiple sexual partners outside of marriage, which I think is very to Middle Eastern or Asian peoples.

Edited b/c I can't spell
Originally Posted by KateRoberts
It's kind of to me too, especially when people talk openly about it, and I'm not Middle Eastern or Asian, so I can definitely see where they are coming from!

I think that other parts of the world definitely have promiscuity and so on too, but the difference is they don't talk about it or seem to take "pride" in it as much - it's still seen as somewhat shameful.
Originally Posted by Amneris
Exactly what I mean! There's no locker room talk....
Originally Posted by KateRoberts
Honestly, I always knew not everyone married a virgin, but I would never have believed that things like threesomes, watching, dozens of partners, 11 and 12 year olds having sex, relationships that allow multiple partners, swinging, etc. etc. existed OUTSIDE of movies were it not for things I heard/read/was told later into adulthood.

I find it interesting that marital sex is considered "boring" and "vanilla" to a lot of people unless it involves roleplaying, S&M, swinging etc. What TO ME SHOULD be one of the most exciting, awesome things we ever experience has become completely devalued. In that sense, I understand the Middle Eastern thinking sarasara is describing - it is trying to protect something ancient and precious and sacred - but unfortunately, using violence, murder, social ostracization etc. are not good either. I think families have every right to want their daughters AND sons not to have premarital sex, but they/we need to find positive and healthy ways to get the message across instead of using intimidation and fear.

ETA: I think it's kind of funny now that people are saying what you see in the movies or on TV is not like real life! Recently when I posted that I really don't think women in real life behave like the characters on SATC, lots of people posted that they know PLENTY of people who do and the characters seemed realistic to them! I don't even have to watch Arab TV or movies to know that there would not generally be characters like that shown.
Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali











but unfortunately, using violence, murder, social ostracization etc. are not good either.

Good point. To me, the use of violence/murder/ostracization/etc. to enforce virginity, make sex more disgusting and vile than any group-sex afficianado could ever dream of. The fact that people in the society condone and participate in this violence/ostracization is extremely perverse.
but unfortunately, using violence, murder, social ostracization etc. are not good either.

Good point. To me, the use of violence/murder/ostracization/etc. to enforce virginity, make sex more disgusting and vile than any group-sex afficianado could ever dream of. The fact that people in the society condone and participate in this violence/ostracization is extremely perverse.
Originally Posted by RedCatWaves
I think violent enforcement of chastity and complete sexual permissiveness/promiscuity are BOTH disgusting, vile and perverse. There has to be a better way than these two options.
Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali











RedCatWaves, I'm not sure if you're trying to not understand what I'm saying, if you only read one sentence of my posts and reply to it or what really...

I mentioned that I don't care about what the Internet shows, because even in Afghanistan where women should wear a tent (Im not sure what it's called really) over themselves if they want to leave their house, you can google Afghani porn and still get an "eyeful".

Maybe you should reread the other posts I posted.

Here:


The differnce is, in American movies, there are threesomes.

In a Kuwaiti movie for example, you won't find anyhting more shocking than 2 people holding hands.

If you had a survey in the US for people who've had threesomes...etc, I'm sure that the percent will be much more than the percent you'll find in the ME.

A woman in the US who's had a threesome may be considered a "good" girl.

A woman in the ME who's had a threesome is considered the lowest form of life God created. (no offense to anyone, just trying to show you the difference)
To put it simply, if a man who slept with a woman and regretted it later wanted to marry me, I might agree to marry him if I loved him.

If this man had a threesome, or sex with another man and regretted it, and wanted to marry me, I'll tell him to go to hell. I'll tell him to go to hell for thinking that I would marry someone like him. I don't care how much I love him. The thought of sleeping with a man who slept with a man then has the nerves to sleep with me is too much. Just way too much.

This is the reaction of most women of my culture.

This will probably not be the reaction of many women in the US. Or Europe, so that you won't say I'm being racist.

What surprises me is that people once consider us to be closed minded idiots when they want to, and the next second we're immoral.

Anyway, I'm glad that some people see my point of view.
OMG. How awful.

I've heard of this happening in some parts of India and Pakistan. I'm not sure but I'm sure there have been cases of this happening in the UK as well.

I will never understand the thinking behind it.
Originally Posted by curlylaura
It is not uncommon in any country or province where Orthodox islam is practiced (Africa, Asia, middle-East are the more instances, but it can happen anywhere else as well-- possibly some of the Western so-called 'domestic-dispute' murders may even have been tied to such religious killings) .
Most Americans/Europeans have had multiple sexual partners outside of marriage, which I think is very to Middle Eastern or Asian peoples.

Edited b/c I can't spell
Originally Posted by KateRoberts
It's kind of to me too, especially when people talk openly about it, and I'm not Middle Eastern or Asian, so I can definitely see where they are coming from!

I think that other parts of the world definitely have promiscuity and so on too, but the difference is they don't talk about it or seem to take "pride" in it as much - it's still seen as somewhat shameful.
Originally Posted by Amneris
Didn't you say that you had a Chinese grandparent?
Most Americans/Europeans have had multiple sexual partners outside of marriage, which I think is very to Middle Eastern or Asian peoples.

Edited b/c I can't spell
Originally Posted by KateRoberts
It's kind of to me too, especially when people talk openly about it, and I'm not Middle Eastern or Asian, so I can definitely see where they are coming from!

I think that other parts of the world definitely have promiscuity and so on too, but the difference is they don't talk about it or seem to take "pride" in it as much - it's still seen as somewhat shameful.
Originally Posted by Amneris
Didn't you say that you had a Chinese grandparent?
Originally Posted by Peppy
My mama does, but I don't think that multiracial nitpicking has anything to do with this discussion and FYI, having a Chinese great-grandfather doesn't make me Asian - I am not from the Asian continent and I am not culturally or ethnically identified with an Asian country or recognized as such by other Asians. And I have never said that I am.
Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali











I can't post the links here, but I just did a google search for "middle eastern porn" and got quite an eyeful. I don't think the USA owns the market on immorality.
Originally Posted by RedCatWaves
I could be wrong, but I think that's actually American porn with some Middle-eastern looking woman.


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