Monogamy - an adult discussion

Do you think that you'll be happy having sex with one person for the rest of your life?

I sometimes wonder about that, and I think I may have to ask my husband how he feels. And I wonder about the those couples who have "arrangements". Are they happy and are thier relationships solid?

Or, maybe I'm just weird for thinking about such things.

At this point in my life, I am happily a one-man woman. I can't even imagine wanting to be with someone else.
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We are monogamous but not monotonous.
And really, I would say that I'm NOT going to be with the same person for the rest of my life, because we both change and evolve. He is not the same person he was 10 years ago, and neither am I. I think that's part of the magic in monogamy. To share that growth with a person. Being a part of something that is ever changing and expanding. It's interesting and exciting. Especially when you look back over the years...and see who you each were, and who you each are now, today. Anyway, it works for us.
We are monogamous but not monotonous.
Originally Posted by yagottaloveyacurls
I like that.

Great post BTW.
Do you think that you'll be happy having sex with one person for the rest of your life?

I sometimes wonder about that, and I think I may have to ask my husband how he feels. And I wonder about the those couples who have "arrangements". Are they happy and are thier relationships solid?

Or, maybe I'm just weird for thinking about such things.
Originally Posted by CocoaCoily
As far as couples who have arrangements, I think they are just like couples who don't have arrangements. Some of them are happy with solid relationships, some are not. I don't think monogamy and polyamory are the determining factor of relationships. Communication, generosity of spirit, honest self-assesment, empathy and patience are what it takes to make any relationship work.

I don't know if I will be happy having sex with one person for the rest of my life. Right now I am. My husband and I have also theoretically discussed the idea of allowing others into the relationship. Neither of us is categorically opposed to it, but we're not in a place and time where it is more than just idle talk. I think going into a monogamous relationship with the idea that you will never want to have sex with another person again is asking for trouble. Every relationship has highs and lows and I think it's normal to think about sex with others occasionally. But in order for the monogamous relationship to succeed you choose not to act on those desires, and you choose to make your relationship a priority.
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I think monogamy is a choice. We choose to be monogamous because that is what works for us. I don't necessarily think that it is natural or even something that you have to do - but I do think it is a choice.
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I think going into a monogamous relationship with the idea that you will never want to have sex with another person again is asking for trouble.
Totally agree.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Rock on with your bad self.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Be excellent to each other. ~ Abraham Lincoln

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
For me, once I found my husband, the thought of sleeping with someone else just doesn't enter my mind. It's not that I fight off the urge, it's just not appealing to me. I rather have none than have it with anyone else.
But then again I'm an old married lady.
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Yes. - But I'm old enough and have had enough life experience to know. Everyone is different as are their situations.
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Thanks ladies... I love getting other people's perspectives. I don't know how I feel about it.

I think I have no problem with the idea of having sex with only one person for the rest of my life. I do have a problem with the idea of not hanging out with other guys, and flirting and stuff. I guess I'll just have to find a relationship that is right for me, where there's no problem hanging out with other people like that.
"I don't know! I don't know why I did it, I don't know why I enjoyed it, and I don't know why I'll do it again!" -BART SIMPSON
And I wonder about the those couples who have "arrangements". Are they happy and are thier relationships solid?
I'm very happy and my relationship is very solid.
I think I'll be happy being with one person for the rest of my life. I think the sex gets better as a relationship goes on. I also think I am too jealous for *arragements*, as intriguing as they may be.
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im not in a relationship and enjoy my freedom. i could prolly settle with one girl if she were right.
Do you think that you'll be happy having sex with one person for the rest of your life?
Originally Posted by CocoaCoily
I'm happy now, but there have been times when I've felt restless.
Its all a matter of making a conscious decision to forsake all others so to speak.
Generally, I dont think its natural to have sex with one person forever and ever amen. I think instinctively, we want to feel what its like to be with others --- BUT, in a civilised society, you chose a partner and do the couple thing, because its what's acceptable. And its whats safe too. Or safer, supposedly.

I think people should enjoy being single, because once you are in a relationship, its next to impossible to think/act just for yourself anymore and as a human being, there will be times when you will crave that, no matter how happy you are in a relationship/marriage. I am happy with my partner, but there are the times when i just want to go home, leave my clothes on the floor and just 'be' without having to think about anything or anyone else. Its kind of like having children, and that added responsibility, I guess.
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Generally, I dont think its natural to have sex with one person forever and ever amen. I think instinctively, we want to feel what its like to be with others --- BUT, in a civilised society, you chose a partner and do the couple thing, because its what's acceptable. And its whats safe too. Or safer, supposedly.


I agree with that. I have those conflicting feelings. Society is telling me one thing (though I would like to live with someone exclusively), but something is pushing me in the other direction.

At 25, I'd like to get married, settle down, yada yada, sooner than later, but I think a lot of that desire comes from the fear of being an old maid. I'm with a great guy that I love, but there is also something inside telling me that this isn't the time or the right person. 25 just seems so young to decide that this is it, I'm with this person forever. At the same time I look around, and most women my age are married and starting families. I've never been one to sit back and watch others experience things before me.

Maybe this is why so many marriages fall apart, because I can't be the only one feeling this way, with all of this conflict. I guess those who make it work have great control over their emotions and instincts.
After many years with my husband, I am still extremely happy with my choice and even more attracted to him than ever.

I have no desire to be with anyone else. I may see other men that have one thing or another thing going for them, but for me he is the only one with the whole package.
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how high on the list of importance is "variety in sex"?

if i don't have the mindset to keep sex enjoyable and special with just my husband, then i'd probably also be thinking that sharing my home with just him; vacationing with just him; sharing nonphysical intimacy with just him; kissing and cuddling just him; sharing holidays with just him; and going to shows/dinner/movies (dating just him), etc., would also not keep me completely satisfied for the rest of my life.

i don't know how i could single out sex while not considering the other aspects of our relationship.

and if i'm that unsure, i never should have gotten married to begin with.
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