Rude or not?

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My friend Rachel and I both got texts from Kendra at 7:00 a.m. In Rachel's case, she didn't have to wake up until 8:00 for work. In my case, I work until 1:00 a.m. and will never be up that early.

We both think it's incredibly rude and we've both mentioned to Kendra that she please wait until at least 8:30 before texting. In fact, KENDRA was complaint recently that someone called her at 7:00 in the morning when she was in vacation.

Rachel's coworker thinks it's not rude and that we could easily solve the problem by putting the phone on silent. But both Rachel and I have infirm parents and we keep our phones near us at night in case there's an emergency.

So do you think it's rude? I have my own internal rule that I don't text anyone before 9:00 a.m. or after 10:00 p.m. unless I know their schedule.

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if you have told someone not to text you that early and they continue to do so, its rude.

everyone knows i get at at 5 am for work. i have told people not to call or text pass 10. people still do so, and i dont answer and wont call back. i erase the text and pretend it never happened.
Personally I don't see it as rude. I see texts the same as emails. They both come to my phone in text form. They both have a sound when they come in. I've sent and received emails late at night/early in the morn and I just don't see texts as any different. I don't check them though until I get up. I know if it's an emergency the person would call. Now, phone calls I see differently. I would think it rude to call someone that early unless it's an emergency.

eta Yea since you told her not to then it's rude. But I was speaking for me...at least how I see it...


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Last edited by Kilajo; 04-30-2012 at 08:46 AM.
Yea I do, but I can see why other people may not understand. The other day someone texted (a group text about a movie and dinner plans) at 4:00 am. My phone was on vibrate and it woke me up. I couldn't go back to sleep until 6 or so and had to be up at 8:30. She did it again this past weekend but I happened to be already up.

And no I don't want to put my phone on silent in case there is an emergency. I have old parents as well and family/friends that may need to get in touch with me.

It's not the same as emails. You can turn email notifications off but not text.
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Personally I don't see it as rude. I see texts the same as emails. They both come to my phone in text form. They both have a sound when they come in. I've sent and received emails late at night/early in the morn and I just don't see texts as any different. I don't check them though until I get up. I know if it's an emergency the person would call. Now, phone calls I see differently. I would think it rude to call someone that early unless it's an emergency.

eta Yea since you told her not to then it's rude. But I was speaking for me...at least how I see it...


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Originally Posted by Kilajo
I agree with this. I set texts to silent when I go to bed, if there is an emergency my phone will still ring.

If she had called I would have thought that was rude.
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The only way to set texts as silent on my phone as far as I can tell us to turn my ringer off.

I don't see it as the same as email because my email doesn't chime when I receive one.

Having said that, I've asked her not to do it.


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Obamacare is not a blueprint for socialism. You're thinking of the New Testament. ~~ John Fugelsang



If someone has been asked not to call/text before a certain time and they continue to do so, it is rude.

I've had a rule for many years - do not call (or text) before 10am or after 10pm unless it is an emergency. My family and friends know the wrath if they forget that rule. : )
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FYI - you should be able to change your ringer for each type of notification. (calls, call w/o call ID, email, texts, etc.)
I think 7 am is ok to call or text (unless smeone has specifically asked me not to).

I can set set my phone ringer and text notifications to different sounds and different volumes....and I do.
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FYI - you should be able to change your ringer for each type of notification. (calls, call w/o call ID, email, texts, etc.)
Originally Posted by scrills
I definitely have. (chime for texts, disco song for people i know, plain ring for strangers). But if a chime/ring/buzz goes off no matter what it's going to wake me up.


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Really? I think 7am is way too early unless you know the person's schedule. I've had guys text me good morning and such at 7am, including my ex when I first met. I thought it was annoying as hell. Not rude but come on, not everyone is on your schedule!
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It's rude because you've asked her not to text that early. I assume you've said that in no uncertain terms so there's no way she could plead ignorance.

That said, I keep all sounds but the phone and the alarm silent at all times but even if I didn't I'd sleep through those sounds - I sleep through all the random noises my husband's phone makes.
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ITA with PartyHair and Kilajo. It's rude because you specifically asked not to be texted, but I don't think texts are rude if they're early/late in the day. Plus you can choose to put them on silent.
I think it's rude because you've asked her not to. That's inconsiderate. But I don't think there's anything inherently rude about texting someone at 7am. They can get the text later, and respond whenever the feel like it--it's not like a phone call where you need to pick up to know what's going on, and to deal with it right then.

And has already been said, it's pretty easy to turn off/change the text sound and not alter the phone call sound if it's bothersome.
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ITA with PartyHair and Kilajo. It's rude because you specifically asked not to be texted, but I don't think texts are rude if they're early/late in the day. Plus you can choose to put them on silent.
Originally Posted by Saria
I agree with this also. Texts at whatever hours aren't inherently rude. Text sounds can be independently set, and most people use the actual phone feature for emergencies. But, it's rude because you asked for certain text times.


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I don't think it is rude , I have a friend who would text at past 6 in the morning . I have complained a few times but It's her MO
ITA with PartyHair and Kilajo. It's rude because you specifically asked not to be texted, but I don't think texts are rude if they're early/late in the day. Plus you can choose to put them on silent.
Originally Posted by Saria
I agree with this also. Texts at whatever hours aren't inherently rude. Text sounds can be independently set, and most people use the actual phone feature for emergencies. But, it's rude because you asked for certain text times.


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Originally Posted by redcelticcurls
I agree with this. Theres nothing inherently rude about texting at any hour of the day. If you don't want to be woken up turn your phone to silent. I have friends in australia and most of their messages to me come i at 2am. Once i'm in bed I turn my phone to silent. With most smartphones you can Set each person with a personal tone including silent.

I wouldn't say she's being rude, more flaky or inconsiderate because you've asked her not to.


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I don't think texting at any hour is inherently rude but you have asked her not to and she should respect that.
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Yeah, it's rude because you asked her not to.

I don't care if people call me at weird times because I rarely answer my phone and I don't call back unless they leave a voice message. And I keep my phone on vibrate or silent most of the time. I also don't feel obligated to answer texts or emails.

As far as my own personal rule, I don't call before 10am on the weekends. I don't call before 8am or after 9pm during the week. Unless of course I know someone has a schedule that deviates from the normal 9 to 5. Texting? If it's a friend, I text at any time because I know they don't care (and we don't get our feelings hurt if textee is grumpy and bites the texter's head off). I'd stick to my call rules if it's my boss or something.
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Last edited by Po; 04-30-2012 at 10:50 AM.
Yeah, it's rude because you asked her not to.

I don't care if people call me at weird times because I rarely answer my phone and I don't call back unless they leave a voice message. And I keep my phone on vibrate or silent most of the time. I also don't feel obligated to answer texts or emails.

As far as my own personal rule, I don't call before 10am on the weekends. I don't call before 8am or after 9pm during the week. Unless of course I know someone has a schedule that deviates from the normal 9 to 5. Texting? If it's a friend, I text at any time because I know they don't care (and we don't get our feelings hurt if textee is grumpy and bites the texter's head off). I'd stick to my call rules if it's my boss or something.
Originally Posted by Po
This is very similar to my POV, except my weekday window is 7 am - 10 pm and not before 9 am on wknds.
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