What is this? Low self-esteem?

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I've noticed that some people who stay single and childless for years beyond the "norm" never leave that 20-something mindset. In regard to a lot of things. Well, even people in mid-age who find themselves single. I honestly think that the act of dating just brings that out in some people.
Originally Posted by slinky1
I disagree, I know parents and non single people who have this mindset. It's who you are regardless of your marital status. It's really weird when parents are this way because it usually affects their parenting skills.
Well, I've got to drive with her for about 90 minutes tonight-- 45 minutes to and from practice. I would seriously like advice about what if anything to say to her? I just think she's probably going to be looking at me for something but what?

Here's her part of the email chain just so you can really see what I'm dealing with:

are you going tuesday b/c i have -um- things to tell you. don't judge- last night was a full moon.
I answered that I was going but didn't ask what it was about. Then in her response to me she wrote:

i will fill you in tuesday during the ride on what a bad, weak person i was last night. i'm sure you can guess where this is going....
I told her I had a feeling that I knew where it was going. She responded:
WHAT happened isn't the bad part. it's WHO with. ugh.
Again, I didn't respond and she continued in another email with:

i try to be good but in some ways i thrive off of relationship drama. i don't do drugs i do drama. ha ha.
So finally I wrote:
So'd you sleep with the guy who was mean to you your whole date?
Her response:
the guy who was disappointed me hair wasn't redder?? noooo never went out with him again. ignored his two texts.

it's worse.
Of course didn't tell me who. I know wants me to ask, which I have steadfastly avoided doing. But in 2 hours I'm picking her up for practice and I'm going to have to listen to all this in person.


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Would STFU work?


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Originally Posted by redcelticcurls
LOL If I didn't have to drive in a car with her, absolutely.


Obamacare is not a blueprint for socialism. You're thinking of the New Testament. ~~ John Fugelsang



Honestly, there are some people that you just need to listen to, or 'hear' when they talk about this kind of stuff and not really reply much. They will either stop, or they just want someone to listen to them talk.

I don't know that there is anything "wrong" with her, since I don't know her very well.

If she bothers you so much, can you stop driving with her? It sounds like you don't like her very much.
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Honestly, there are some people that you just need to listen to, or 'hear' when they talk about this kind of stuff and not really reply much. They will either stop, or they just want someone to listen to them talk.

I don't know that there is anything "wrong" with her, since I don't know her very well.

If she bothers you so much, can you stop driving with her? It sounds like you don't like her very much.
Originally Posted by M2LR
The funny thing is, I like her a LOT. I think more than anything I'm very surprised by this turn of events. She's a heavy dater and I've always listened to her dating stories because they're interesting and neat and very different from the way I live my life. But the actually dating, being attracted to, and sleeping with guys that she admits aren't good for her is new.

Or maybe just new to me. Maybe she's just feeling more comfortable with me and that's why she's telling me.

I've known her for about a year and a half, but in November she transferred from another skating league to my league and so I've gotten to know her a lot better.

But listen I can certainly do. I just really don't want to come off as judgmental or mean to her because I don't want to hurt her feelings.


Obamacare is not a blueprint for socialism. You're thinking of the New Testament. ~~ John Fugelsang



Personally, I don't like hearing that my friends sleep around or engage in risky behaviors. But I do love listening to (PG rated) stories of dates they've been on...and I love telling stories about my dates.

Maybe the story will be funny or there will be some point to it?

If she's not hurting herself, then why be resistent to the conversation?

But if she is hurting herself, then yeah, that is awkward bc that kind of stuff Ps me off and I wind up scolding and preaching.

Aren't you happy, tho, that she cut the one guy off who you thought was an azz? That's positive...

eta -- I typed this before I read your last post. Yes, that's tricky. But unless she's an idiot, she will figure out who is good and who's not good...eventually.
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Last edited by spiderlashes5000; 05-08-2012 at 04:34 PM.
Personally, I don't like hearing that my friends sleep around or engage in risky behaviors. But I do love listening to (PG rated) stories of dates they've been on...and I love telling stories about my dates.

Maybe the story will be funny or there will be some point to it?

If she's not hurting herself, then why be resistent to the conversation?

But if she is hurting herself, then yeah, that is awkward bc that kind of stuff Ps me off and I wind up scolding and preaching.

Aren't you happy, tho, that she cut the one guy off who you thought was an azz? That's positive...

eta -- I typed this before I read your last post. Yes, that's tricky. But unless she's an idiot, she will figure out who is good and who's not good...eventually.
Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000
This.

I guess when she starts to talk about stuff that you don't neccessarily approve of, you can just listen and not judge, it is her life, you know? Or, you can say, 'Ew...I don't want to hear about THAT part of the date!' or whatever. I am sure that there is a tactful way of telling her that you don't want to hear it.

I wonder, if the next time it came up if you just told her that it doesn't sound healthy for her to date/sleep with people that aren't good for her, she will just end up hurt in the end, etc. Something like that.

She's probably comfy enough with you to be telling you all of this to where if you said while smiling or laughing, 'That doesn't sound like a good thing...'

i don't know. it's been a while since I heard a dating story from someone...let alone been on a date myself!

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