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Old 05-09-2012, 06:23 AM   #1
 
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Default Are you mean?

Yes? No? Other?

Feel free to elaborate.
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Old 05-09-2012, 06:49 AM   #2
 
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I use to be, now i cant even stomach when other's are mean.
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Old 05-09-2012, 06:58 AM   #3
 
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Generally, no.
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Old 05-09-2012, 07:00 AM   #4
 
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some people tell me i am.

other people would laugh uproariously if anyone characterized me that way.

so i'm not sure...

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Old 05-09-2012, 07:04 AM   #5
 
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Not on purpose.

Now I can be direct and demanding, people might istake that for mean so I'm not sure.
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Old 05-09-2012, 07:16 AM   #6
 
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Not mean. But sometimes I do not have empathy for people. That is usually when I feel they could do something to change their situation but all they do is complain.


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Old 05-09-2012, 07:37 AM   #7
 
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Originally Posted by papayahed View Post
Not on purpose.

Now I can be direct and demanding, people might istake that for mean so I'm not sure.
I don't think I'm mean.

People definitely will mistake me asking for what I want and correcting something which affects me as mean. (Simple example: You want to park in such a way that I can't get my truck out of its spot? I will ask you to fix it, without inappropriate language or an overly rude tone of voice.)

I DO NOT intentionally hurt people. There are situations where doing the right thing may hurt someone, but in those cases it's a matter of not being able to avoid it. (Sorry, I won't see you anymore even though you really like me... sorry it hurts your feelings.) I tease people, but if I have a sense they are sensitive about something I specifically do NOT tease them about that.

I try not to judge others, as I can't know what it's like to be them. I'm human, so of course sometimes I fail at that.


I consider the mean people those who lack empathy for others at all and intentionally hurt others for their own enjoyment.
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Old 05-09-2012, 07:42 AM   #8
 
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No. Not at all.

I wish I was. There are times when I should be and I'm not. I'm very nice to strangers I see. I smile and make small talk. I'm trying to get away from that. Why do I feel obligated? Most people aren't nice to me.

I usually put other people first, and myself last. I dont like it.

I wish I was mean.

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Old 05-09-2012, 07:47 AM   #9
 
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Most people would characterize me as nice. I have definite snarky moments, though.
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Old 05-09-2012, 07:55 AM   #10
 
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No. But I don't tolerate foolishness, either.
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Old 05-09-2012, 07:58 AM   #11
 
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Depends on who you ask. LOL. I know I can have a mean streak. I am blunt and don't hide my emotions or opinions in very well. So when I say something, a sensitive person might get upset but another less sensitive person may not. What's the saying? "It is what it is." You take what I say or leave it.
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Old 05-09-2012, 07:59 AM   #12
 
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If I think someone deserves it, then yes, I'll be deliberately mean. And I'm definitely mean in my head.* But, while I don't think I'm particularly nice, since I think "nice" requires a lot more effort than I'm willing to exert, I'm not a mean person in my interactions with people. I'm usually too lazy for confrontation with people I don't know well, so most people categorize me as nice.

*One of my closest friends, when I was *****ing about how I often get harassed by proselytizers and why does it happen so often to me, said, "You look and act nicer than you are, that's the problem." She knows me so well!
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Old 05-09-2012, 08:05 AM   #13
 
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My kids tell me I'm mean every day. But, I think I'm quite nice.

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Old 05-09-2012, 08:15 AM   #14
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I'm not mean on purpose. However, I'm definitely not "sweet" so I automatically get characterized as being "mean" - as if there isn't some sort of a middle ground. *eye roll*

I think I just have a no-nonsense personality, and some people just can't seem to cope with that and/or accept it, so they feel the need to characterize me in a way that makes them feel better about themselves.
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Old 05-09-2012, 08:15 AM   #15
 
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My bark is worse than my bite. I'm really a big softie.
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Old 05-09-2012, 08:15 AM   #16
 
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No I am not mean. My husband says I am too nice but I don't think that is a fault.

This is a timely topic. I just saw a story on CBS This Morning about how there is evidence that "niceness" is in your DNA.
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Old 05-09-2012, 08:17 AM   #17
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LAwoman View Post
No. But I don't tolerate foolishness, either.
This.

I am extremely generous with my friends and family, and they with me. I have had to curb that trait with acquaintances and strangers due to being taken advantage of, but I'm not mean about it at all.
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Old 05-09-2012, 08:24 AM   #18
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by roseannadana View Post
No I am not mean. My husband says I am too nice but I don't think that is a fault.
My husband says I'm too nice as well.

I don't like to cause conflict or hurt feelings. I have gotten more assertive as I've gotten older, which I think is a confidence thing.

I sometimes think I need to be meaner, because I build up a lot of internal anger at times because I'm too nice to say anything when someone is really frustrating me.




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Old 05-09-2012, 08:34 AM   #19
 
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Yeah, sure.

Truth is I think I'm nice, but I get told I'm mean.
Like, I'll answer a question as matter-of-factly as possible and I get the "that's so mean" reaction and I'll be left puzzled as to how my answer was mean.
For example, I mentioned this one guy who seems to be a ladies' man and I just don't get it because he's super short and not possessing what could be called a handsome face. Apparently that's mean.

Really I'm not very friendly most of the time, which is different than not being nice in my book. A lot of people are friendly enough, but will not hesitate to cut a *****. I'm pretty much the opposite. It can take a while to make me warm up to you, but even if I don't, I'm not one to try to screw anyone over or try to hurt anyone's feelings.

I don't care for people (read: men) trying to make mindless small talk and throw flattery at me to get in good with me. I'm pretty damn honest (I'm a terrible liar), and I have my temper, my snark, and just generally don't suffer fools.

And actually, the people who get me are often puzzled and will defend me when someone points out how "mean" I am. I've had it happen a few times and the reaction is usually "she's so nice" or "she's one of the nicest people I know" because they just know what I'm like and that mostly I just don't feel the need to be "in" with everyone (or most people really).
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Old 05-09-2012, 08:46 AM   #20
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NetG View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by papayahed View Post
Not on purpose.

Now I can be direct and demanding, people might istake that for mean so I'm not sure.
I don't think I'm mean.

People definitely will mistake me asking for what I want and correcting something which affects me as mean. (Simple example: You want to park in such a way that I can't get my truck out of its spot? I will ask you to fix it, without inappropriate language or an overly rude tone of voice.)

I DO NOT intentionally hurt people. There are situations where doing the right thing may hurt someone, but in those cases it's a matter of not being able to avoid it. (Sorry, I won't see you anymore even though you really like me... sorry it hurts your feelings.) I tease people, but if I have a sense they are sensitive about something I specifically do NOT tease them about that.

I try not to judge others, as I can't know what it's like to be them. I'm human, so of course sometimes I fail at that.


I consider the mean people those who lack empathy for others at all and intentionally hurt others for their own enjoyment.
Me to a T.




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