"Boyfriend" problem, help?

sleepymeko · 05-12-2012, 07:12 PM

Apparently, I am now dating a somewhat of a friend at school--he is my friend's housemate.

Anyway, I've known him since Feb. and we've mostly only hung out twice at a club and I think once at a party? After one of the clubs, we have a "talk" and we agree that we're now "dating" (not sure how this talk happened). Anyway, he stays the night (we didn't do anything, just slept) and IDK. Like the last time we got kind of close, it seemed pretty hard to get a hold of him. He told me a few days ago it's because he doesn't look at his phone often and even his housemates have problems getting ahold of him. OK... I think earlier this week I asked him if he ate lunch yet and he told me he had a big breakfast. I quickly respond with that's too bad 'cause I was gonna ask him to eat with me. Then he quickly responds with we should get lunch together next time. Which kind of makes me think he is... maybe a bit slow or doesn't get it?

We did have lunch and it was fine and now I guess we're "together", but I'm just not feeling it. He seems so... lazy? Since Thursday night it has seemed difficult to get him to hang out with me. And then he randomly tells me I should come with him to some kickback tonight and IDK. I'm not feeling that... Like the excitement of being chased

I'm pretty vain, I will admit and I'm used to men being obsessed with me and that's not just happening here so I'm not all that excited since I honestly don't feel like I'm wanted or that he wants it that much?

And then, I find out that he tells all his housemates about me. When he kissed and danced with me a month ago he told EVERYONE within a few hours and my friend commented (they live in same house) that he must be excited. And I'm sure he told everyone about Thursday too.

I'm very confused RN. He doesn't express this excitement to me, so I'm not sure how to feel about all of this. I told him when I was drunk I wasn't even sure if he liked me and he was like: "OFC I like you! Look at you!" but I'm not feeling much passion from his side of things... If that makes sense?

I was thinking of pretending nothing happened since nothing seems to be progressing.

Welp.

Jenny C · 05-12-2012, 07:57 PM

You know I was going to write a long response to your question, but I'm going to cut right to the chase - he's just not that into you. Sorry. Although it doesn't sound like you're really into him either.

It doesn't sound as if you've even been on an actual date with this guy. Just because he says you're 'dating' doesn't make it so. Your gut is telling you something is off, why are you trying to talk yourself into this? Move on, don't waste your time. This is as good as it's gonna get.

The New Black · 05-12-2012, 08:00 PM

What Jenny said.

sleepymeko · 05-12-2012, 08:31 PM

Yea, I agree. I also feel like he's ashamed to be seen with me during the daytime though, but it's OK at night time SMH. Anyway, moving on.

I had a feeling he didn't like me either. I'm happy that you guys agree with me.

Josephine · 05-13-2012, 02:29 PM

I need all the attention too, it's not being vain. I've recently lost interest in someone who has been hard to reach lately, and he was not before. I'm confused why wanted to be dating you though and is acting this way. Oh well, I agree with the others, he's not too interested.

sleepymeko · 05-13-2012, 02:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Josephine

I need all the attention too, it's not being vain. I've recently lost interest in someone who has been hard to reach lately, and he was not before. I'm confused why wanted to be dating you though and is acting this way. Oh well, I agree with the others, he's not too interested.

I know right? I spoke to his housemates, who are also my friends and they told me that's just how he is (good to know) and they know he is just looking for fun RN and not a relationship. And then they both said it's his loss and he's stupid, haha. Nice to have good male friends, huh?

Yea, I think I'm over the whole college dating scene. Every guy I met on campus is just looking for instant gratification. I'll just wait until I graduate or when I'm back home in the summer to meet someone who isn't looking for a quick lay or "fun". A lot of the girls at my school have problems meeting a quality dude for these reasons. SMH.

spiderlashes5000 · 06-20-2012, 02:06 PM

Is he very laid back and mellow all the time, like aside from when he's with you?

Is he exceptionaly good looking or "special" in some other way?

sleepymeko · 06-20-2012, 06:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000

Is he very laid back and mellow all the time, like aside from when he's with you?

Is he exceptionaly good looking or "special" in some other way?

None of my friends thought he was anything special, but I thought he was cute. I was never really able to hang out with him when he was sober. But I took everyone's advice and figured he wasn't into me.

Then I start hearing from his housemates how he always talks about me and even got into a fight with his friend because his friend was trying to talk to me. He told the guy to: "back the f* off" and that he really likes me, which my friend thought was weird (she's his housemate) and told him he doesn't even know me.

Honestly, IDK what all of that was about. He tells all his friends all these things about me but acts aloof and disinterested when I talk to him. So I honestly just ended it.

We can be friends, but I have lost interest. I don't have time for people who can't be real with me.

I think he's just slow and inexperienced. That's not a fault of mine!

sleepymeko · 06-20-2012, 06:13 PM

Actually, it became annoying. I was sick of hearing from random people how he would talk about me and stuff. It wasn't anything bad, but if you feel that way why don't you talk to me instead of your friends

geeky · 06-20-2012, 07:45 PM

Don't make it more complicated than it needs to be. It does not matter how much he is actually into you or how much he tells his friends he is into you. The way he interacts with you is not doing it for you, you are not feeling it, therefore it's not working. It does not matter why he does what he does, just that you are not really feeling it. Not worth it.

sleepymeko · 06-20-2012, 08:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by geeky

Don't make it more complicated than it needs to be. It does not matter how much he is actually into you or how much he tells his friends he is into you. The way he interacts with you is not doing it for you, you are not feeling it, therefore it's not working. It does not matter why he does what he does, just that you are not really feeling it. Not worth it.

Yea. That's why I only see him as an acquaintance now. It's not worth the headache.