Is this appropriate? *Adult*

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I recently just went to a counselor for some depression that I've been having, and in my last (second) session, the counselor (a woman) asked me questions about my personal life as a way to get to know me. She asked about my relationship with my husband, sex, etc (I don't want to get too detailed - just very personal stuff that I felt was not really necessary/appropriate). Right after she asked me the questions, she asked me if I minded. And I said no, I didn't mind. But, the next day I thought about it, and I felt that her questions were really not appropriate for my problem.

What do you think? I really don't feel like going back to her now. What would you do?
Hair Type - wavy/curly, fine texture, thin/medium density

Last edited by anniemae; 05-14-2012 at 01:30 PM.
Unless you feel very uncomfortable, I would give her one more shot. But if she makes you uncomfortable again, beyond the usual awkwardness of therapy, I'd bail out.

HTH, and good luck.
anniemae likes this.

Dogs and nature abhor a vacuum.
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If you don't tell us what she asked/said, we can't give our opinions on whether or not it was inappropriate.

Why did you tell her you didn't mind? Bc you didn't at the time? Or bc you we too shy to speak up?
3b (with 3c tendencies) on modified CG

She immediately asked me if I masterbate and/or have orgasms. At the time, I was a little surprised, and it didn't bother me. I thought it was a bit odd, though. But, later on I was thinking to myself, and I thought - wtf....I'm going to her for depression issues not related to my marriage or anything like that.

Idk - it just seems strange to me. I guess I don't know her well enough yet....
Hair Type - wavy/curly, fine texture, thin/medium density

Last edited by anniemae; 05-14-2012 at 01:32 PM.
Hmmm...............depending on your insurance coverage, I would only give her one more chance. If you don't feel good with her on a second visit, again, I think you should bail.

Btw, I don't recall ever having been asked that during any counseling I've received.

Dogs and nature abhor a vacuum.
http://geaugadoggy.wordpress.com
Hmmm...
I would go one more time if only to find out why she asked those questions. Maybe you said something in passing that prompted her questions. I don't know her credentials (is she an MFT?), but the questions may have had something to do with your depression, but she failed to actually make that connection for you. ??
3c/4a
OMG, when I was 19, my bf was killed in a car accident and I saw a counselor at my university for grief. And she asked me if I masturbated! I said no, and she like demanded to know why not, etc.

WTF is up w/ these people????
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3b (with 3c tendencies) on modified CG

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Last edited by juanab; 05-14-2012 at 06:30 PM.
I think if you don't want to see her anymore, then by all means find someone else. But in her defense one of the common signs/symptoms/side effects of depression is a loss of interest in sex and/or no longer enjoying sex.

Blame it on the cell phone...
Springcurl, anniemae and thelio like this.
I recently just went to a counselor for some depression that I've been having, and in my last (second) session, the counselor (a woman) asked me questions about my personal life as a way to get to know me. She asked about my relationship with my husband, sex, etc (I don't want to get too detailed - just very personal stuff that I felt was not really necessary/appropriate). Right after she asked me the questions, she asked me if I minded. And I said no, I didn't mind. But, the next day I thought about it, and I felt that her questions were really not appropriate for my problem.

What do you think? I really don't feel like going back to her now. What would you do?
Originally Posted by anniemae

It doesn't seem like a counselor could really help you without getting to know you very personally. Maybe she might be better then the average counselor. If I wondered about anything she asked, I personally would have just asked her why she's asking these questions and how are they related to what I'm here for...she might have a valid answer.
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This counselor is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker.

I understand that they need to know you, but it still seems odd to me. I just met the woman - it was the beginning of our 2nd visit.

I definitely didn't say anything that prompted her questions.

Maybe I'm making a bigger deal of it than need be, but I'm not sure if I want to go back to her.

Hmmmmm....
Hair Type - wavy/curly, fine texture, thin/medium density
If you don't trust her you probably won't make much progress. But if you decide to see her again, you should tell her that her questions made you uncomfortable and maybe she can explain why she asked and put your mind at ease.

Whatever you decide, I hope you don't give up!
anniemae likes this.

I was born to be a pessimist. My blood type is B Negative.
Thank you all for your thoughts.
Hair Type - wavy/curly, fine texture, thin/medium density
Someone once told me her shrink asked her if she performed oral sex, which really annoyed her. Her issue was anxiety.

I have no idea how those two are related, but then I'm very clueless about how therapy works.
anniemae likes this.
Also, ask yourself if you're looking for a reason not to go back to her. Sometimes therapy gets scary and when we realize that we're going to have to actually get to the bottom of our feelings, etc., we sometimes find reasons not to go back, get mad at our therapist, etc.

Just throwing it out there.


Obamacare is not a blueprint for socialism. You're thinking of the New Testament. ~~ John Fugelsang



I'm not looking for a reason because if I stop going to her, I know of someone else I would go to. I definitely don't want to quit, but that is a good question.

I'm not afraid, just weirded out a little.
Hair Type - wavy/curly, fine texture, thin/medium density
I would maybe give her a call and voice your concerns and just ask. Tell her upon reflection you were uncomfortable with her questions and was wondering why she asked them. It could be just to see how open you were. Like depending on your reaction to them would shape her approach to your therapy. Telling you why she was asking the questions up front might color your reactions.

To me, if I ask someone a personal question like that and they answer me honestly then I know they are pretty open and I'm not going to have to work too much. If they are like "I'm uncomfortable talking about that" I know my boundaries to work in or on.

I am not a therapist at all so these are just my guesses.
I've been seein my LCSW off and on for 16 years, she's never once asked me about my sex life or if I masturbate.
I've been seein my LCSW off and on for 16 years, she's never once asked me about my sex life or if I masturbate.
Originally Posted by M2LR
Thanks. Years ago I saw a different LCSW for a short while, and she never asked me that stuff either.

Believe me, it was strange. At the time she asked me, I was deep in the moment of the session, and I guess I was kind of emotional, so I didn't question her. But, it was later when I was removed from it and thinking more clearly that I really started to question it in my mind.
Hair Type - wavy/curly, fine texture, thin/medium density
Mine asked me.


Obamacare is not a blueprint for socialism. You're thinking of the New Testament. ~~ John Fugelsang



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