I'm Torn.....About a Man

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Hmmm,

I hear some inconsistencies, and I wonder if maybe youre over thinking it?

I dont know. I mean, 3 weeks and youre taking dance classes together and signed up for cooking classes together. Thats a lot of involvement. Then you became intimate after you had concerns, and you said it was the best sex you ever had......

I think you should wait it out, and maybe if some things still bother you, you can talk about them. That early in a relationship youre still figuring out communication and what the other person likes, or does, etc.



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Originally Posted by iroc
This was my thinking.

And yeah, I did get the impression this guy had just PUT IT DOWN and that was the reason for the internal conflict. haha
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Last edited by spiderlashes5000; 05-16-2012 at 08:55 AM.
This guy is going to end up being hurt and feeling used. It's best to end it now instead of leading him on. It's hurtful and honestly unneccessary when all you have to do is be an adult and explain that you'd just rather be friends because the feelings just aren't there for you.

Clearly, a sexual relationship probably wasn't in the best interest of either party considering he's already seemingly head over heels and you knew from jump you weren't really that into him. Okay..the sex was fantastic..and ? The fact that he's great in bed isn't going to wipe away that he's too smothering for you or the fact that you aren't very physically attracted to him. Nor will it change who he is as a person.

Do the proper and kind thing.. end it now and let the man move on with his time, energy, and smothering with someone who wants or needs it.
I would, and have, never had great, or even good sex with someone I wasmt atrracted to, and connected to. But maybe thats just a personal thing with me.

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Marah, I did end it yesterday. Read my previous post.

Iroc, since I turned 60 I have the sex drive of a 14 year old boy. Fortunately, I still have a 60 year old woman's brain.

I also thought that if I had sex with him that 1) I would become more attracted to him and 2) He might become more confident and stop smothering me. Neither worked.

He didn't call last night & hasn't responded to my break up email. Hopefully, he'll just go away quietly.
From Michael Berg:

Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
@Lotsawaves... Whoa.. I didn't know you were 60. I thought you were probably in your early to mid 30's. Well all I have to say is go ahead gurl making these men crawl for you! LOL! You still got it apparently!
I would, and have, never had great, or even good sex with someone I wasmt atrracted to, and connected to. But maybe thats just a personal thing with me.

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Originally Posted by iroc
Same here, I'm trying to understand the concept of having the best sex ever with someone but not being attracted to them...I can't come up with anything. If I'm not attracted to someone, no matter what they do or how good they are I'm just not gonna be that turned on. I believe for me, more of it comes from me and how I feel towards the guy(whether its physical, mental, etc) or in general(horny time of the month - dangerous time for me lol).
The man is attractive. Just not the usual type I'm attracted to. I like men with dark hair. This guy is a blonde with very light blue eyes.

Being my age is like being in that time of the month all the time.
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From Michael Berg:

Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
If I experienced the "best sex of my life", I'd probably try to keep that man around, even if it's just for sex.

How old is this guy that he still has natural blonde hair?
I also thought that if I had sex with him that 1) I would become more attracted to him and 2) He might become more confident and stop smothering me. Neither worked.
Originally Posted by Lotsawaves
I'm sorry, Lotsa, but this isn't a 60yo woman's thinking. It's a bit manipulative.
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No MAS.

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Last edited by The New Black; 05-16-2012 at 04:06 PM.
I also thought that if I had sex with him that 1) I would become more attracted to him and 2) He might become more confident and stop smothering me. Neither worked.
Originally Posted by Lotsawaves
I'm sorry, Lotsa, but this isn't a 60yo woman's thinking. It's a bit manipulative.
Originally Posted by The New Black


I think it's wise. Having sex with someone certainly tells you a lot about them. Better to know these things quickly, rather than waste a bunch of time on them. If I was out there dating, at my age, I'd probably be screwing them all by the 3rd date, just to weed out the ones not worth my time.
He's 55. He has some gray, but also some blonde left.

It's all pretty mute now considering I broke it off.
From Michael Berg:

Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
I hope he does go away quietly, lotsa. The ones that don't are often rather offended at being rejected, and they're not always nice about it.

Dogs and nature abhor a vacuum.
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