The Amish

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Today I went to Amish Country with my husband so I can see what he does up there (work/glass). It was interesting for sure. The first guy he introduced me to I extended my hand and said hello and it was soooo awkward. I'm wondering if they are not supposed to shake hands with an "English" of the opposite gender. Anybody know? Any other idiosyncrisies I should know about the next time I go with him? He tried so hard not to make eye contact with me. Really unnerving!
Apologies - I don't know the answer to your question, but I think I understand how awkward you must have felt.

I had a similar situation with an Orthodox Jew (I'm Jewish but not orthodox). I asked him if he would like my seat on the bus (he was elderly and frail) and he didn't answer me. I asked again because he looked very unsteady and he turned completely around so that his back was to me. Then his wife said yes he would like your seat so I got up and gave him my seat, but I wouldn't bother again if the same situation presented itself. If I'm not worthy of a simple response, (by virtue of being female) go ahead and stand there.

I hope you get some good answers here and have better experiences.
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Each Amish community has its own rules. If he seemed reluctant to shake your hand, then it's probably against the rules for him.

Is there a tactful way to ask him whether he's not supposed to do that?

Last edited by Eilonwy; 06-14-2012 at 06:39 PM.
I'm going to meet the Amish couple..... - Homesteading Today

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cp, I'd have been appalled and angry.

I loathe the sexism in Orthodox Judaism.
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Dogs and nature abhor a vacuum.
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cp, I'd have been appalled and angry.

I loathe the sexism in Orthodox Judaism.
Originally Posted by claudine19
I don't really view it as sexism, its almost fear I guess. These dumbass men (orthodox jew or amish) have been so trained that they can't control themselves in the sight of a woman who is showing her curves. Its really on them! But it is weird.

There were a couple of older teenage boys and omg, they were really obvious trying to avoid talking to me or looking at me. So funny. So I decided to stay in the van after that. But the last guy had this flippin adorable dog so I had to get out to see the dog. The amish guy there was so cool. He extended his hand and gave me a solid handshake. No akwardness so I'm like wtf? Hubby said this particular guy deals a lot with the "English" for his business so he was more natural for him to be comfortable. But the Amish are so interesting to me! I just wish they didn't treat me like a leper I guess!
I don't think they're dumb... men. I would just think it's cultural. If it doesn't harm me or others I can respect and appreciate other cultures. However if I perceive something within another culture being harmful in some way, I can't respect that. For example, fgm.

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These dumbass men (orthodox jew or amish) have been so trained that they can't control themselves in the sight of a woman who is showing her curves.
Originally Posted by poisonivy
I think it's usually not that they can't control themselves, but that they fear they can't control themselves. They've been taught that their own sexual feelings are sinful (except toward their wives). In their own minds, even the mildest and most fleeting feeling of attraction is perverted and wrong.
It's sexism. I'm 66, was dressed in a down coat, and any curves I still have were clearly not on view. I don't care if it is cultural - it felt degrading. Is there any culture in the world where men are treated like this by women?

It's always women who are "unclean." From the women who are supposed to burn themselves to death on a pyre when their husbands die to binding women's feet so that they can't walk properly to the idea that if a woman who has her period touches a rose it will die - I am unable to respect these ideas and I certainly don't appreciate them. All of it is outrageous, disgusting and abominable. (rant over).
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Which amish community? I encounter the Amish from Penn alot. They have Amish markets all over Maryland. They are awesome. My family go the market so often they know our orders by heart and anytime they have new sweet treats they let us know without us asking. The men has no problem speaking or even hugging certain customers.
It's sexism. I'm 66, was dressed in a down coat, and any curves I still have were clearly not on view. I don't care if it is cultural - it felt degrading. Is there any culture in the world where men are treated like this by women?

It's always women who are "unclean." From the women who are supposed to burn themselves to death on a pyre when their husbands die to binding women's feet so that they can't walk properly to the idea that if a woman who has her period touches a rose it will die - I am unable to respect these ideas and I certainly don't appreciate them. All of it is outrageous, disgusting and abominable. (rant over).
Originally Posted by curlypearl
I would have died if after you gave up your seat you said to his wife "Besides standing feels better for my menstrual cramps. YOU know what I mean" *cheesy wink* and scene.
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What's fgm?

The Amish here are friendly. There's a lot of mixing because of work and transportation issues. However, I almost married into a family that was affiliated with the Amish --- the father's family had "yanked over" when he was ten, and still had blood relatives in the local community --- and there was definitely a strong strain of sexism there. Friendly sexism, but sexism nonetheless.

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fgm = female genital mutilation i.e., clitoridectomy: thought to keep women from promiscuity. Horrifyingly painful, usually done without anaesthetic. Often done by someone other than a doctor, although not always and can result in lifelong infections, sometimes death. Degree of severity depends on type of operation. Usually results in partial or complete loss of ability to orgasm.
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Deep condish: Curl Junkie Curl Rehab
Stylers: Mix Curls in a Bottle into everything for shine. Terrible pj
Sometimes try roller sets - classic glamor but I prefer my curls.
Every day is a gift
What she said. Thanks CP.

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^^ this reminded me of a story my mom told me about a couple of weeks ago. If im not mistaken, she was reading a article online that told the story of some African tribe (I believe) that use burning sticks/clubs to "flatten" the breasts of young girls that they believe have entered into puberty too early. They believe that this will keep the local boys/men from becoming attracted to them.
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^^ Oh my.
2/c and some 3A. Modified CG.
Protein sensitive
Highly porous. Color over grey.
Best 1st day method: Super Soaker
Conditioners: Curl Junkie Beauticurls Strengthening Conditioner,
Deep condish: Curl Junkie Curl Rehab
Stylers: Mix Curls in a Bottle into everything for shine. Terrible pj
Sometimes try roller sets - classic glamor but I prefer my curls.
Every day is a gift
^^ this reminded me of a story my mom told me about a couple of weeks ago. If im not mistaken, she was reading a article online that told the story of some African tribe (I believe) that use burning sticks/clubs to "flatten" the breasts of young girls that they believe have entered into puberty too early. They believe that this will keep the local boys/men from becoming attracted to them.
Originally Posted by Rimi
WTF!?!?!?!
Shuddering.

I knew about fgm, just not the abbreviation.

The Amish bug me because girls get less education than boys do.

Dogs and nature abhor a vacuum.
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It's sexism.
Originally Posted by curlypearl
It's definitely sexism. But it's not like any random Amish or Orthodox Jewish man, no matter how sexist, is barely able to control his lust when he sees a woman. That's how I interpreted Poisonivy's post, and that's what I responded to.

Last edited by Eilonwy; 06-15-2012 at 11:29 AM.
I don't know......with those straggly beards, horrible haircuts, and ill-fitting clothes (re: Amish), it's hard to picture them lusting after anything but a new horse, buggy, or cow.

In fairness, though, whenever I had to interview the men for stories on local politics, they treated me very well. And they took being teased by their peers well, too.
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Dogs and nature abhor a vacuum.
http://geaugadoggy.wordpress.com

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