So what is an introvert? - Page 2

Saria · 06-17-2012, 11:34 AM

Magazine - Caring for Your Introvert - The Atlantic

Saria · 06-17-2012, 11:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ruralcurls

I am an introvert. Parties are just torture for me.

This is me. Where most people seem to be "yay party", I'm thinking "do I have to" and trying to find a way to get out of it most of the time. I'm an extreme hermit.

Rubber Biscuit · 06-17-2012, 11:42 AM

Introvert/shy here!

I always *think* I'd like to have an active social life, but when I make plans to go out somewhere, I feel dread and wonder why the hell I agreed to do whatever it is! That being said, I love, love, love when one or two close friends drops by my house to hang out, talk, watch movies, etc. But, I prefer to be in my own house, with relatively few people.

I'm a waitress (which I'm great at, oddly enough!) and when everyone is standing around waiting for the first table to arrive, everyone else groups together to talk. Me? I sit in the corner with my Spanish flash cards and study.

Speckla · 06-17-2012, 11:48 AM

I say I'm a medialvert!

Or is the Medieval Pervert? I get so confused.

spring1onu · 06-17-2012, 12:15 PM

I can identify with a lot of what y'all have said. Sometimes the idea of socializing sounds good and then I think "Why the hell did I say we'd go to that!?"

I also think it's why I am not drawn to big cities or crowded places. When we went to Boston I literally thought I was going to claw my skin off by day 3 there and I later realized I felt physically exhausted from all the stimulation (that sounds dirty, haha). The same thing happened when we went to San Francisco a couple of months ago, I could not WAIT to get out of there after a few hours walking around in the droves of people. We will go back because there are lots of things I want to see that I know won't be as madhouse as where we went, but I'll never go back to Fisherman's Wharf. EVER.

Mr. Spring could tell by the look on my face that he needed to get me the heck out of there before I punched the next person who was rude. Why am *I* the one always moving out of someones way on a sidewalk?!

Even though I'm shy and 80% of the time a nervous wreck when in a social situation, I still like being around people occasionally so I guess I'm not all bad.

moodydove · 06-17-2012, 12:39 PM

I don't think introvert means shy. I think it just means someone is comfortable being by themselves and while they may enjoy social interaction, huge amounts of it can be draining. That's what I find as an introvert. I'm not that shy, though I used to be. I still dislike parties unless they're small/dance parties.

I'm most likely going to be listening to music, reading, or by some means entertaining myself on a Saturday night.

Nej · 06-17-2012, 12:53 PM

Depends who you talk to. I don't think I'm introverted by nature just highly sensitive. I get overstimulated very easy and don't like small talk or large groups. I love being social and going out and can only spend so much time by myself before I go a little crazy. That said I need a partner who I can rely on to feel comfortable which is by I prefer one on one or small groups.

I went out last night for my friends stagette and bailed early. I was just way overstimulated and needed a break. If it had just been me and another girl I probably would have parties all night and met new people no problem.

Sent from my iPhone - blame autocorrect for everything strange

LAwoman · 06-17-2012, 01:08 PM

I love going to parties, events, ect but I am still an introvert in that I need my alone time to recharge.

I think it makes sense that most of posting here are introverts. I do not think you'll find too many true extroverts who spend a significant amount of time in chat forums.

Jaynee · 06-17-2012, 01:31 PM

I am absolutely an introvert. Like others have said, I have great plans in my head of being social and going out, but when it comes time to actually do that, I dread it. Parties where I don't know a lot of people are just too much work.

I remember reading this article a year or so ago about the myths of introverts and it fit me perfectly. I may have come across it on a thread here. http://jerrybrito.org/post/611430470...out-introverts

spring1onu · 06-17-2012, 02:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jaynee

I remember reading this article a year or so ago about the myths of introverts and it fit me perfectly. I may have come across it on a thread here. Top ten myths about introverts / Jerry Brito

Mercy, that's me!

curlysue21 · 06-17-2012, 03:19 PM

I was terribly shy as a kid and had trouble expressing myself which caused me to be labeled as mean and *****y sometimes. As I got to high school my self consciousness went away and I realized putting myself out there helped others respond in more of a positive way to me.

For the most part I often choose being at home with my family or by myself but there is a part of me that enjoys being around others, typically in a setting of a few people more than a busy party or something. So I guess I'm one of those mixed-verted people

ursula · 06-17-2012, 03:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CurlyEyes

I'm an introvert, and I'm afraid that I'm a bad example of one. I find that most introverts genuinely do like being around other people, but prefer to be alone. I'm just misanthropic.

Me too!

ursula · 06-17-2012, 03:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by spring1onu

I also think it's why I am not drawn to big cities or crowded places. When we went to Boston I literally thought I was going to claw my skin off by day 3 there and I later realized I felt physically exhausted from all the stimulation (that sounds dirty, haha). The same thing happened when we went to San Francisco a couple of months ago, I could not WAIT to get out of there after a few hours walking around in the droves of people. We will go back because there are lots of things I want to see that I know won't be as madhouse as where we went, but I'll never go back to Fisherman's Wharf. EVER.

Mr. Spring could tell by the look on my face that he needed to get me the heck out of there before I punched the next person who was rude. Why am *I* the one always moving out of someones way on a sidewalk?!

That's interesting. I feel much more comfortable in a city, and I always thought that was a sign of my introversion. I like the anonymity of being in a crowd of people. I feel uneasy if I feel like people are looking at me. So, if we're distinguishing between shyness and introversion, I am both of those things, and self-conscious on top of that. Wow, I sound like a mess...

When I was choosing a college, I was torn between a large university and a small liberal arts college and ended up choosing the former partly because of this. Obviously not much has changed in the intervening 20 years.

Out of curiosity, are there any introverts here who are teachers (or in other professions associated with extroversion)? There are a lot of things I like about my job but it can also be so painful to me. I hate being the center of attention. And I am so self-conscious that I think it holds me back from being really good at my job.

Saria · 06-17-2012, 03:41 PM

I love NYC and hate small towns (and a lot of so-called cities), so I don't see that as an aspect of being an introvert. Of course, my love for this place has to do with ethnicity, being both an immigrant and a minority, and enjoying diversity, not to mention convenience and access. NYC has a pulse to it, life, that comes from the various groups of people that make it up.
And it's really important to me to be able to walk just about anywhere; it gives me a sense of freedom, whereas when I have to constantly get in a car to go anywhere, I get rather restless. When I can't use my two good legs and just get up and go, that frustrates me.

moodydove · 06-17-2012, 03:44 PM

Susan Cain: The power of introverts - YouTube

LadyV69 · 06-17-2012, 03:44 PM

Another introvert here. Although when people first meet me these days, they don't think I am, as I go out often. I'm way more social these days then I was growing up and when I was in my 20's. A lot of people think shyness and introversion are one and the same thing but they are NOT. Shyness is fear of interacting with others. Introversion is not a fear being around people but that you get energized by being within yourself. Extroverts get energized by being around others. It is possible to be a shy introvert, but they often are not one and the same with a lot of people. I was shy growing up, but not anymore. I got over that by repeatedly doing what I feared most-going out in public and trying to talk to people. Over time, it got easier. I don't fear or dread going to parties or being around large groups of people anymore but they do tend to drain me and I rarely am the type that's the last to leave. In fact, I'll leave earlier than others expect me to if I'm not having a good time. As for what I did over the weekend, I had a girls night out with a couple of friends on Friday (drinks and dinner) and went to a dance recital for my BFF's daughter yesterday. I just did chores today but I plan to finish reading a novel later. Last weekend, all I did was be a volunteer tour guide at a neighborhood house tour. The rest of the time, I slept and read, which was heavenly.

sarah42 · 06-17-2012, 03:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SCG

I'm an introvert, for sure! I love spending time alone, and hanging out in small groups... If not small groups, then at least slightly larger groups of people I do know fairly well. In that case, I am very talkative and don't mind being the "center of attention" for a few minutes. But not for too long, or I get uncomfortable.

If I don't know some of the people in the group, I'm much more reserved and tend to hold back a little more. As a whole, I find being around other people to be utterly exhausting, most of the time. Give me my dog, or one or two close friends, and maybe a movie, and I'm happy!

I think being shy is pretty different from being an introvert. Of course you can be introverted and also be shy, and it's presumably more common than a shy extrovert, but I wouldn't consider them to be a package deal. Shyness, to me, alludes to social awkwardness and a fear of talking to other people (I'm not saying you possess either of these qualities, curlypearl!). Introversion seems to refer to contentedness with solitude, and a more introspective point of view.

This describes me exactly. I am always an introvert on the Myers-Briggs tests.

xcptnl · 06-17-2012, 04:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sarah42

This describes me exactly. I am always an introvert on the Myers-Briggs tests.

Me too on the Myers -Briggs test.

I also love the city. I can just observe all the other people without having to interact with anyone.

I would live in the city if I were on my own.

Sent from my Kindle Fire using Tapatalk 2

Devushka · 06-17-2012, 04:37 PM

I'm a very socially adept introvert. I have friends and do just fine reading social cues and interacting with people, but I love recharging on my own and being my own company most of the time. And it's not about being a shy homebody either. I love to travel (and would do it more if I could afford it!), but I've had really fun, memorable experiences exploring cities I've never been to before, all on my own. Even in countries where I don't speak the language.

I agree with others who've pointed out it's all about how you draw energy and recharge.

vegas_curls · 06-17-2012, 05:12 PM

I also am classified as an introvert on the Myers-Briggs tests.

But one very important trait that introverts have - that many times goes unmentioned and/or gets overlooked - we LOVE our personal space.

I'm the type of person that if I'm in a public place, like a doctor's waiting room/library/cafeteria, I'll purposely sit in the farthest away, most obscure seat b/c I just want to be alone with my thoughts/puzzle/phone/book. It irks me to no end (especially if the area is practically empty) when someone comes and sits right next to or across from me.

Having my personal space invaded is just another aspect of crowds zapping my energy.