So my latest crush is 24 years old..

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And I'm 33. Yikes, and I've just gotten used to guys a couple years younger than me.

I decided to meet up with him when I went to destin last week, he lives in fort Walton. We made out on the beach twice and our chemistry was great. It's obviously just a fling and I feel a bit pervy, especially since he looks a lot younger than his age although he acts older. :/

I'm going back next month with another group of friends and plan on spending more time with him. This is so out of the norm for me. He's just so sweet, tall and a bit dreamy..
Go for it! I got hit on recently by a guy who told me he was older than he looks, then said he's almost 30! I said yea I'm older than I look too, I'm almost 50! If I was single his age would not deter me. Though I wouldn't expect a long term relationship 😃. Your age difference isn't that bad!


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Thanks, so I'm not a freak for crushing on such a young guy. I swear he looks 17 though. I normally go for older more manly looking guys.

He told me now he's 24 and a half so he's not that young, so cute.
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Go for it! I got hit on recently by a guy who told me he was older than he looks, then said he's almost 30! I said yea I'm older than I look too, I'm almost 50! If I was single his age would not deter me. Though I wouldn't expect a long term relationship 😃. Your age difference isn't that bad!


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Originally Posted by Andrea
Nice! Yea it's not a huge age diff, but 24 is just young in general. Oh and he has a boat
My sister got married when she was 32 and hubby was 23. I think this sort of age difference can work out.
I am your age, OP. And my little brother who I helped raise is 23.

For me--particularly because you felt it necessary to mention he looks 17-- it is kind of like

I do get hit on by much younger guys too; but it really does nothing but annoy me. Probably because of the "little brother" association I have in my head...

The cougar thing is becoming more popular though...I really don't agree with May/December whether it is the male or female who is older.

However, all of this is just my personal opinion and it is totally non-essential to your life, of course.
Fotki

24 and 33 relationship is NOT May-December. I'd call it more like April-June. A 33 year old is not in the December of her life. @@
sarah42 likes this.
24 and 33 relationship is NOT May-December. I'd call it more like April-June. A 33 year old is not in the December of her life. @@
Originally Posted by RedCatWaves
I was just going to post this! Oh, come on! If the guy was 33 and the woman was 24, nobody would dare be calling it a May-December romance!

If you like him and he likes you, go for it!

I once had a guy 4 years younger than me find-out how old I was and then he refused to tell me his age. At first, I took it personally that he thought I was a dried-up old maiden on the shelf or whatever, but then realized he was the insecure one and didn't think I'd be interested in a "kid".
Ugh, someone had to use the term "cougar", huh? Please don't. It's a term used solely to label women for their dating choices. Men who date younger women don't get labeled the same way.

Hey, as long as you both like each other and get along well, enjoy it! And that's not a huge difference, especially at the stages you're in. I'm jellis, too.
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Last edited by Saria; 06-18-2012 at 06:11 AM.
I am your age, OP. And my little brother who I helped raise is 23.

For me--particularly because you felt it necessary to mention he looks 17-- it is kind of like

I do get hit on by much younger guys too; but it really does nothing but annoy me. Probably because of the "little brother" association I have in my head...

The cougar thing is becoming more popular though...I really don't agree with May/December whether it is the male or female who is older.

However, all of this is just my personal opinion and it is totally non-essential to your life, of course.
Originally Posted by HomeGrownHairGirl
Yes, I have never liked boyish looking guys(even older ones like tom cruise) so it was sorta ew to me. But he was so nice and cute so I gave him my number. When I met him, the way he talked and carried himself was so manly and assertive. And of course I'm comparing it to the last guy I was talking to who was much older and less manly and such a 'dude', and maybe that's why this guy seemed more attractive. Also the fact that he is 6'2 and I was wearing flats..I'm a sucker for height. When I met him I was wearing heels so I didn't realize he was tall.

I am so not into the cougar/puma thing. My coworkers all tease me about being a puma because of this one guy and of course the double standards, even if the guy is a couple years younger they call me a puma.

I also have a brother who is 25. I told him about it and he said, eh 24 is still mature and old enough, not like he's 20. He's open to older women as well. When I think about it and see his picture it seems kinda gross but when I'm with him it's so much fun and I'm loving it. Honestly though because of my feelings on such a big age difference I could never see it becoming serious nor would I want it to. But I know it works for others..never is never really final for me though, I'm always open but it's a strong preference

Last edited by Josephine; 06-18-2012 at 08:44 AM.
That's exactly right about 24. I couldn't really date a guy at this point with that sort of age difference because he'd be 18. That's senior in high school or freshman in college most times. An 18-year-old is just at completely different stage in his life than someone in their 20s. Of course there can be exceptions at any age, but they're exceptions. And an 18-year-old is just too much of a boy in my head, too.
I'm an old 33 and would never date or marry a man in his 20's. But in reality, I understand 33 is not "old" per se so I just don't see why in this case there is any reason not to just have fun and enjoy the time you spend with this young man. Frankly, I'm shocked to read you are in your 30's. I always assumed you to be in your mid 20's anyway.. Furthermore, it's not like you are trying to marry the guy or anything. Just casually dating and enjoying the companionship. So any teasing or naysaying from people is just unneccessary to me.

And if that's coming from someone like me..that is an admitted ageist and often turns her nose up at older women and younger men relationships..then I feel like any naysayers can have a seat. You are fine.. enjoy your life!
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If you are just looking to have fun, I say 100% go for it.

If you are looking for something serious, and to settle down sooner-rather-than-later, I would say "proceed with caution."*

*Just my observations from having a serious, three-year relationship with a man 10 years my junior.
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I'm an old 33 and would never date or marry a man in his 20's. But in reality, I understand 33 is not "old" per se so I just don't see why in this case there is any reason not to just have fun and enjoy the time you spend with this young man. Frankly, I'm shocked to read you are in your 30's. I always assumed you to be in your mid 20's anyway.. Furthermore, it's not like you are trying to marry the guy or anything. Just casually dating and enjoying the companionship. So any teasing or naysaying from people is just unneccessary to me.

And if that's coming from someone like me..that is an admitted ageist and often turns her nose up at older women and younger men relationships..then I feel like any naysayers can have a seat. You are fine.. enjoy your life!
Originally Posted by *Marah*
I'm sorta ageist too but w/out the double standard. From what I recall your husband is quite older than you, so what is the difference, just honestly curious.

One of my guy friends said I was so wrong and gross (especially after looking at his pic) but if I were a guy it wouldn't be that bad. His reasoning did not make any sense, he's just sexist. He said women adapt better but that's bs. Not all women are mature for their age(especially me) and not all men are immature for their age. Also I don't think he understand that we can be attracted to younger men the same way he can be attracted to younger women.
Saria likes this.
I'm sorta ageist too but w/out the double standard. From what I recall your husband is quite older than you, so what is the difference, just honestly curious.
Originally Posted by Josephine
11 years and I don't look at it a "quite a bit older" because of our life experiences. I just don't see it as a big deal in our relationship. Given, I do understand our particular relationship, the history of it, and even it's length is often the exception to many "rules". Furthermore, our cultural background is not the typical American situation..so while it works for us I can certainly comprehend most Americans not being able to sustain a relationship like ours for anywhere near as long as we've been together.

And yep.. I have a double standard on this issue for various reasons that I personally think are valid but I don't expect others (not in my circle) to live their lives based on what I think or believe.
Saria likes this.
11 years and I don't look at it a "quite a bit older" because of our life experiences. I just don't see it as a big deal in our relationship. Given, I do understand our particular relationship, the history of it, and even it's length is often the exception to many "rules". Furthermore, our cultural background is not the typical American situation..so while it works for us I can certainly comprehend most Americans not being able to sustain a relationship like ours for anywhere near as long as we've been together.

And yep.. I have a double standard on this issue for various reasons that I personally think are valid but I don't expect others (not in my circle) to live their lives based on what I think or believe.
Originally Posted by *Marah*
I understand what you're saying, I do believe age is just a number to some extent, although I don't understand the cultural difference. I think the same situation can apply to other cultures as well(including American). But you nor anyone else still have not given me any reasoning for why it can't work the other way around...I think it's a bit odd either way since I'm a bit hung up on age but logically don't see why it cant work if lifestyles match up.
Saria likes this.
I understand what you're saying, I do believe age is just a number to some extent, although I don't understand the cultural difference. I think the same situation can apply to other cultures as well(including American). But you nor anyone else still have not given me any reasoning for why it can't work the other way around...I think it's a bit odd either way since I'm a bit hung up on age but logically don't see why it cant work if lifestyles match up.
Originally Posted by Josephine

I personally wasn't trying to give any reasons of why it can't work out the other way nor have I stated that it can't for you or another person. What I conveyed was that I personally do not prefer the older woman and younger man relationship based on reasons that I find valid. To me that's a whole entirely different discussion topic.

I did say in my inital post that in your situation that I just don't see any problem with you enjoy your time with this young man. Frankly, I really haven't seen anyone here saying specifically that it can't work. But it does seem like there is some slight "off" feeling on your part about you being with him. I think you called it feeling "a bit pervy". I don't see anything pervy about it. You are an adult, he's an adult, and both of you are consenting to spend time with eachother in whatever way both of you deem appropriate. So there really is no reason for me to give you any reasons that it can't work out.

Last edited by *Marah*; 06-18-2012 at 11:03 AM.
I think it's unhealthy to have that size age difference if it's a repeat pattern which happens over and over.


I think on a case-by-case basis it's no big deal at all.

I definitely have had guys that much younger hit on me and I kind of was taken aback because it was unexpected. But the age itself wouldn't rule a guy out for me. At 24/25 guys can be grown up, or they can be *playing* grown up. Since I look for more serious relationships and not flings that means fewer guys that age are an option for me, but I wouldn't shut one out just for that. I've typically dated within two years of my age because similarities in life stage and experiences tend to match up best then, but I say if you're having fun and enjoy his company, why not?!
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