Prayers needed

crazycurlychick · 06-18-2012, 07:11 AM

My parents separated this past week and my mom keeps asking if I'm okay and I tell her I'm okay when I'm actually falling apart. I'm almost 16 this is hard for me because I'm a daddy's girl. I will only get to see my dad once a week for a few hours and I miss him soooooo much :'(

3A/B mix with flat roots dark blonde (refusing to call it brunette I miss my blonde baby hair) lovin my curls

CGNYC · 06-18-2012, 07:19 AM

I'm so sorry. My parents split when I was older and it was difficult. It is ok to tell your mom you're struggling. It's ok to talk to a family member or friend or ask your parents to help you arrange to speak to a professional of some sort if you just want an impartial place to vent. It's your family, too.

Take care of yourself and let other people help you if you need it! I'm so sorry you're dealing with this.

asugirl · 06-18-2012, 07:26 AM

I'm sorry! I know this has to be a tough time for you. My daughter is your age, she'll turn 16 in September, how about you? If her dad and I were to separate, she would say she was ok, because that is what teenage girls do. But I know she wouldn't be. How is your relationship with your dad? My daughter is going through the same stuff with her dad that I went through with mine. "He asks me weird questions; he doesn't know how to talk to me!" It's really deja vu for me, makes me laugh because now I know it's pretty normal. Maybe you can plan special stuff for your weekly time with your dad that will make your time together really count. I hope you can maintain a good relationship with both your parents and that everything goes well!

crazycurlychick · 06-18-2012, 07:27 AM

I'd tell my mom I'm struggling but I don't want her to worry about me I have a history of self harm and I don't need her worrying about me. I've told a close adult friend. Ill think about telling my mom cause I really need to

3A/B mix with flat roots dark blonde (refusing to call it brunette I miss my blonde baby hair) lovin my curls

scrills · 06-18-2012, 09:14 AM

((hugs))

Just be honest with her. Besides, she already knows you lying to her. It's best that she knows what you are lying about. She may be thinking the worse

spiderlashes5000 · 06-18-2012, 09:17 AM

Hugs and prayers. So sorry. Maybe you will get to see him more often.

Devushka · 06-18-2012, 10:07 AM

((Hugs)).

I think it would be helpful to just tell your mom how you're struggling right now. It's a natural reaction that you're having to such a situation, and besides, she probably suspects it's how you're feeling anyway. Your parents surely want you to make it through the breakup of their marriage as best you can (since it's not your fault at all even though you're being effected by it), so keeping communication open and honest with them will probably help that. But keep in mind that although your parents definitely love you and want you to be all right, because of how they're probably caught up in all the stuff they're going through right now, it might be helpful to *you* to find an impartial third party as a sounding board.

So sorry you're going through all of this. ((Hugs)) Just know that it all really will be all right in the end. Seriously, it really will.

Peace.

crazycurlychick · 06-18-2012, 03:34 PM

My dad cheated. That's what's breaking me inside. For the past year he's used taking me places as a chance to text some woman. I feel used and betrayed

3A/B mix with flat roots dark blonde (refusing to call it brunette I miss my blonde baby hair) lovin my curls

Devushka · 06-18-2012, 04:19 PM

Wow. If I'd been a daddy's girl at your age, that would have torn me up, too.

But regardless of what your dad did or what your parents are in the middle of, you deserve to feel better. That's really important. You said your mother keeps asking if you're OK, so think about telling her you'd like to talk to a therapist to help you work through some of the feelings you're dealing with. That might help you a lot more than you can understand right now.

crazycurlychick · 06-18-2012, 04:53 PM

I think I will ask to see a therapist but first I'll have to Tell my mom how I feel. I've been so depressed since it happened I sleep all day and night

3A/B mix with flat roots dark blonde (refusing to call it brunette I miss my blonde baby hair) lovin my curls

Rimi · 06-18-2012, 06:01 PM

Im so sorry to hear that. My best friend's parents are separated and I have quite a few friends whose parents are divorced, so I know the effect that it has on someone our age.

Definitely talk to your mom about these feelings and thoughts you're experiencing. Most likely, she feels terribly about the situation, and just doesn't know how to help you as you mourn.

Also feel free to speak to your dad about these feelings of betrayal. If he's a good father, he misses you terribly and hates seeing his little girl in such a state. Next time you see him, gather your thoughts, sit down with and let him know how you feel.

Also, I'm not sure about your relationship with God, but if you do have one with Him, take some time to turn to Him and pray, asking him for guidance & understanding and to heal your broken heart.

All the best! <3

crazycurlychick · 06-18-2012, 06:31 PM

I have a relationship with god I just got back from a week at church camp. It's was the best week of my summer so far. My best friend got saved last week at camp and I figured out that god is really real he's finally truly real to me.

3A/B mix with flat roots dark blonde (refusing to call it brunette I miss my blonde baby hair) lovin my curls

spiderlashes5000 · 06-18-2012, 08:32 PM

What your father did was a terrible thing. But plz don't start to think he is a terrible person...or that he loves you any less or doesn't value the relationship that the two of you share.

The cheating situation and all of that are really adult issues. They have nothing to do with you. They affect you but you didn't cause them, you can't fix them and probably his biggest regret is that he hurt you.

Try to just maintain a good relationship w/ your father and don't dwell so much on the problems in your parents marriage and the mistakes your father is making.

Rimi · 06-18-2012, 08:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by crazycurlychick

I have a relationship with god I just got back from a week at church camp. It's was the best week of my summer so far. My best friend got saved last week at camp and I figured out that god is really real he's finally truly real to me.

3A/B mix with flat roots dark blonde (refusing to call it brunette I miss my blonde baby hair) lovin my curls

So glad to hear that 😊

crazycurlychick · 06-18-2012, 09:07 PM

My mom keeps saying mean stuff about him and it frustrates me and I want to tell her to stop but I have and she didn't stop. This evening my sister had a breakdown and she's older than me but "special" so I feel like I need to stay strong and be there for her but truth is I'm scared as heck myself. I can't go to my mom about how much I miss my dad and I am afraid to tell my dad I miss him because he's kinda depressed. When he called me the other day I heard his gf in the background ask who he was talking to. That really hurt me.

3A/B mix with flat roots dark blonde (refusing to call it brunette I miss my blonde baby hair) lovin my curls

Jess the Mess · 06-18-2012, 10:25 PM

My parents separated when I was 20 and it still really hurt. I was married with a baby but still felt like my family was breaking. I felt very betrayed by my dad. It took almost a year to really reconnect with him. And even after that I felt like I still had to hide so much of our relationship from my mom. Even 11 years later I have to downplay the relationship my kids have with his wife for fear of hurting my mom. I understand why my mom is still hurt so I try to keep a lot of our relationships separate. It's not easy and honestly still hurts.

If you aren't comfortable talking to your mom tell her that you're hurting but would really like to talk to a therapist. Someone who isn't involved in what's going on. An objective, understanding ear can really help. Letting her know you are seeking help instead of bottling up emotions or self harming could really help her feel ok about you while she works through her own emotions and feelings about the situation.

My fat thumb will make mistakes.

crazycurlychick · 06-19-2012, 12:32 PM

I don't know what to do anymore! I text my best guy friend everyday all day and he understands me but I don't understand myself right now. I go from being happy that he's gone to sad and depressed 5 minutes later. I don't know who I am anymore. I try to pray but right now I don't know what to say. I've read most of pslams and proverbs and skimmed through more of the new testament but nothing is speaking to me anymore. I feel lost I feel numb kinda like anything can happen and I won't react at all. My verse for the past year has been Jeremiah 29:11 For I know what i planned for you says the lord i have plans to prosper you not to harm you i have plans to give you a future filled with hope.

BlackAngelPlayah · 06-19-2012, 12:44 PM

(((Hugs)))

I don't know what to say except it gets better. Not perfect. But better. My parents didn't divorce but my dad died when I was 8. It really started hurting when I was about 12 or so and I went through some rough times. I never told anyone how much I was hurting and that has been my way pretty much since. I feel no one can help me.

I'm a lost cause, but you're still young. Talk to your mom or someone. I'm sure in this day and age there are online support groups for divorce children. I'd hate for you to bottle all that pain. Trust me, packing it in just leads to an explosion.

((((More hugs)))) 💗

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scrills · 06-19-2012, 12:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by crazycurlychick

I don't know what to do anymore! I text my best guy friend everyday all day and he understands me but I don't understand myself right now. I go from being happy that he's gone to sad and depressed 5 minutes later. I don't know who I am anymore. I try to pray but right now I don't know what to say. I've read most of pslams and proverbs and skimmed through more of the new testament but nothing is speaking to me anymore. I feel lost I feel numb kinda like anything can happen and I won't react at all. My verse for the past year has been Jeremiah 29:11 For I know what i planned for you says the lord i have plans to prosper you not to harm you i have plans to give you a future filled with hope.

When I'm REALLY hurt and I try to pray, sometimes it makes me more upset. I almost get mad at God for not "fixing" it fast enough. So I've learned that sometimes I have to do something mindless, like watch a movie or eat ice cream with friends.

I also like to read. When my life sucks, I get caught up in reading someone else's life. It really helps

CurliLocks · 06-19-2012, 02:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by crazycurlychick

I think I will ask to see a therapist but first I'll have to Tell my mom how I feel. I've been so depressed since it happened I sleep all day and night

Please do!

Since you have the history, you should seek professional advice. Things are rough enough for teens, you will need someone to talk to that can help you sort out your feelings and hurt. Take care and know that you will be in my Ts&Ps. My son is about your age. We're here for you!