Am I being too sensitive-Mom's Memorial

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My mom's memorial is this coming weekend and my sister has said she is going to speak and she sent my brother and I what she is going to say (the majority of it is a prayer we had on the wake announcement). The beginning is this:

OUR MOTHER
WE NEVER DOUBTED HER LOVE FOR US OR THE GIFTS SHE GAVE US;
FOR JOHN, HIS GIFT TO CHAT WITH ANYONE
FOR SUSAN, THE WONDERFUL LAUGH
FOR MYSELF, THE SUNSHINE ATTITUDE

I am Susan. Why do I feel like what she wrote about me is kinda lame. A laugh? In comparison to being friendly for my brother and a great attitude for herself? Or am I just being the bratty baby of the family???
Central Massachusetts

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim. ~George Carlin~

In regards to Vagazzling: They just want to get into the goods without worrying about getting scratched up by fake crystals. ~spring1onu~
I agree that "laugh" seems a bit lame compared to the others.

How about just "her wonderful sense of humor" instead?
No, that is kinda lame-sounding. Maybe ask her about it?
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I had a similar thing at my dad's funeral. My cousin was the one elected to speak, and he had eloquent things to say about each of my four siblings, and for me it was "Maureen? She's always glad to see you." WTH does that even mean.

My dad died 12 years ago. Clearly I haven't let it go. You would probably do well to not take it to heart.
Minneapolis, MN
It's not lame at all.

I love hearing a good laugh. People are often described by their laughs. And laughing is contagious.
rouquinne, Nessy, Wiregirl and 3 others like this.
3c/4a
I don't think it's that lame. People always tell me I laugh like my mom. but if you don't like it, I would just ask her if she could pick something other quality.
I just want to do what I want to do when I want to do it.
It is not that I do not like it. I dunno. It is hard to explain. Probably just stupid family dynamics and I should not let it get to me.

I think it goes back to the other thread recently where I mentioned that people often sort of pick on me about it.
Central Massachusetts

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim. ~George Carlin~

In regards to Vagazzling: They just want to get into the goods without worrying about getting scratched up by fake crystals. ~spring1onu~
Well, you did say it's something people comment on, and if your mom's laugh was the same, I think it's kind of sweet. Something distinctive that only you two shared.
I can also see why you'd feel as you do, though.
Parissy198907 likes this.
If you don't like it, then call your sister and have her change it. If her attitute really is sunshine-y, she'll understand not give you grief about it.

Or...speak at the memorial service yourself, and say what you want to say. You don't need anyone's permission to speak...just do it.
LAwoman, Wiregirl, thelio and 1 others like this.
Since your mom's memorial service is as important to you as it is to your brother and sister, perhaps you can simply say something like this to your sister..."You know, I've always appreciated how I got mom's great sense of humor. Since her memorial service means so much to each of us, I'd really prefer that you say it that way -- FOR SUSAN, A WONDERFUL SENSE OF HUMOR." (<-- or actually whatever else you think you inherited from your mother.)

Being straightforward about it now may do a lot to avoid family problems later. Again, she was mom to all of you, so it seems perfectly reasonable for you to ask that your impression of what you inherited from her be what's expressed at the service.
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It hasn't been a year, has it??

I guess I would prefer "sense of humor," too.

I don't even know you, but it seems like you have the sunshine-y attitude & gift of gab, too. And I'm sure people in attendance will know you have all that & more.

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This is what I sent her.

The more I think about it i realized my laugh has gotten me into trouble over the years (as i recall mom saying it did her too )and I would rather not have it feel negative to me. How about if you say her love of reading for me??
CurliLocks and Devushka like this.
Central Massachusetts

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim. ~George Carlin~

In regards to Vagazzling: They just want to get into the goods without worrying about getting scratched up by fake crystals. ~spring1onu~
It hasn't been a year, has it??

I guess I would prefer "sense of humor," too.

I don't even know you, but it seems like you have the sunshine-y attitude & gift of gab, too. And I'm sure people in attendance will know you have all that & more.

Sent from my SCH-I500 using CurlTalk App
Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000
Awwww thank you. It's not really a memorial but we are spreading her ashes since it was not good weather to do that when she passed away.
CurliLocks likes this.
Central Massachusetts

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim. ~George Carlin~

In regards to Vagazzling: They just want to get into the goods without worrying about getting scratched up by fake crystals. ~spring1onu~
You are not being too sensitive. I think each child should be the one to say what they "got" from Mom.
CurliLocks and curlypearl like this.

I was born to be a pessimist. My blood type is B Negative.
My mom's memorial is this coming weekend and my sister has said she is going to speak and she sent my brother and I what she is going to say (the majority of it is a prayer we had on the wake announcement). The beginning is this:

OUR MOTHER
WE NEVER DOUBTED HER LOVE FOR US OR THE GIFTS SHE GAVE US;
FOR JOHN, HIS GIFT TO CHAT WITH ANYONE
FOR SUSAN, THE WONDERFUL LAUGH
FOR MYSELF, THE SUNSHINE ATTITUDE

I am Susan. Why do I feel like what she wrote about me is kinda lame. A laugh? In comparison to being friendly for my brother and a great attitude for herself? Or am I just being the bratty baby of the family???
Originally Posted by xcptnl
I had a similar thing at my dad's funeral. My cousin was the one elected to speak, and he had eloquent things to say about each of my four siblings, and for me it was "Maureen? She's always glad to see you." WTH does that even mean.

My dad died 12 years ago. Clearly I haven't let it go. You would probably do well to not take it to heart.
Originally Posted by Poodlehead

I think that you are perfectly within your rights to feel whatever you feel! I'm guessing in both of your cases it was seen as a positive from the person who said it. I have some people who have these laughs which I just can't help but laugh with them if they're laughing. And if my mom had one and I had a sibling who inherited it, I would cherish that. Even so, I can TOTALLY see not feeling that way if someone wanted to say it about you, especially given some people make fun of the laugh.

Poodle - that's another one where I would see it positively! Haven't you ever had someone who had that kind of personality that they just make everyone feel welcome and cherished? I so value that type of warmth person, and think it's a great thing for you to show. But same thing, if it's not how you see yourself or what you want said, I can understand you not liking it!

I think the email was perfectly appropriate, because while she may see you one way and love it, your wishes matter as well. I hope you have a lovely time reminiscing at the memorial and that it helps heal anything you need to heal - plus lets you remember the good times.
curlypearl and Saria like this.
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Thanks, 'Nette.
Minneapolis, MN
People are often described by their laughs.
Originally Posted by Po
this is me... people tell me all the time how much they love to hear me laugh.

so i don't think it's lame.
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Thanks everyone. I feel better now that I asked her to change it. I always feel self conscious about my laugh as people commit/ kid about it. And my mom would tell stories how she got caught doing something because people heard her laughing. We both have that in common. Just one of those weird things about me I guess.
CurliLocks likes this.
Central Massachusetts

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim. ~George Carlin~

In regards to Vagazzling: They just want to get into the goods without worrying about getting scratched up by fake crystals. ~spring1onu~
I didn't think there was anything odd about your laugh. It was delightful just like the rest of you.
rouquinne, NetG and Poodlehead like this.
I didn't think there was anything odd about your laugh. It was delightful just like the rest of you.
Originally Posted by Saria
I love you. .
Central Massachusetts

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim. ~George Carlin~

In regards to Vagazzling: They just want to get into the goods without worrying about getting scratched up by fake crystals. ~spring1onu~

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