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Old 06-23-2012, 09:28 PM   #81
 
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I think I've forgotten what the original question was but anyway, I consider all of my long term relationships successful no matter what my age was at the time.
First marriage I was 20, he was 18. It lasted 10 years and was a successful relationship as far as I'm concerned. I've had 2 10 year relationships since then. None of our breakups were age related.
Both sets of grandparents were in their teens and were married til they died of old age.
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Old 06-23-2012, 09:31 PM   #82
 
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Originally Posted by Like.Australia View Post
Clearly.

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Old 06-23-2012, 10:21 PM   #83
 
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"girl bye" is dumb.
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Old 06-23-2012, 10:30 PM   #84
 
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I think the post before mine is dumb.

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Old 06-23-2012, 11:31 PM   #85
 
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People get divirced and are unhappy regardless of how old they are when they marry. 20s doesn't equal unstable, broke, partyer, or sleeping around for everyone. Thats a stereotype. Yes, i partied, for about a year i believe i was 19 i also realized that wasn't the lifestyle for me. Id much rather hang out at home or at a friends house, chat, and have wine. Everyone is different. All the ladies who have associated being married with being tied down, having to call or check in, are also stereotyping. All men don't operate like this. I happen to be 23 and married. I have 2 college degrees, make 6 figures, do fun things with my hubby (our idea of fun of course may not be yours) and travel a lot. This year we have been to China, Hawaii, Greece, Budapest and France. Next year we plan on visiting China again and Bora Bora in December. I don't know that i would have enjoyed any of this without him being there. Thats just me, others may feel differently. My point is that all the things many people think of 20 something women are not true! Also, i didnot marry merely to wear a wedding dress. I married because i found a man who adds value to my life and i felt that it was important for us to solidify our commitment to each other. That was our choice though. Bottom line is every one is different! Some marry young, some dont, some get divorced, some dont, some want to party, some dont. Everyone is the best judge of their own needs

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Old 06-24-2012, 06:10 AM   #86
 
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This. I briefly mentioned this earlier. It seems strange to me that it seems to be the general consensus that a marriage is only successful after several decades or until one partner dies. That wouldn't be my definition.
I guess if the relationship ended amicably. Unfortunately that isn't usually the case. I think most people want to avoid divorce, if they were having a 'successful' marriage there would be no point of ending it.

(There are exceptions to everything, I do realize, so don't bother pointing it out.)


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Old 06-24-2012, 07:59 AM   #87
 
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I guess if the relationship ended amicably. Unfortunately that isn't usually the case. I think most people want to avoid divorce, if they were having a 'successful' marriage there would be no point of ending it.

(There are exceptions to everything, I do realize, so don't bother pointing it out.)


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I'm sure most everyone wants to avoid divorce, and breakups for that matter. But just because it happens doesn't mean you didn't do your best in the relationship most of the time and are proud of how you treated the other person. That's a big part of the definition of a successful marriage or LTR to me, not if it lasts forever.

To me it isn't realistic to expect a relationship will definitely last for the rest of your life. I think that's romantic, traditional bs we've been fed that makes some people feel they have to stay together even when they can't stand each other and it's not healthy. In the past, women often really were stuck as they were generally not welcome in the workforce in any substantial way. Though women's opportunities have changed (are still not the best though), the idea that we must stay married no matter what has not. Some marriages do last forever and are healthy, but most do not. These people haven't all failed at their marriages, they are just human.

I personally hope to find a relationship that lasts the rest of my life (now that I am almost 40 I think there's a better chance of this happening), and I was ready to really commit for the long haul in my last relationship for the 1st time, but the forever thing may not happen. Maybe I'll get 10 years instead, who knows?

I'm committed to working hard when things get rough in a relationship (been to couple's therapy, group couples therapy), but sometimes the most loving thing to do for yourselves and each other is leave.

Sorry if I sound like a bummer, I just think someone needs to step in here and present a more de-romanticized view of marriage!
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Old 06-24-2012, 08:41 AM   #88
 
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Yes I still consider my relationships successful, even if they ended badly. If I walked into my office tomorrow and started cursing at my boss and quit without notice, I would still consider my job there to have been successful. A bad ending doesn't negate the rest of the time spent.

And on the opposite end - my parents have been married almost 60 years. They have despised each other since we were kids. We have begged them for decades to divorce and move on and make happier lives for themselves (and less stressful lives for us kids). No, they stay together and treat each other terribly. It's truly difficult to be around them. I consider their decades long marriage to be unsuccessful.
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