The Black nod, can you explain it?

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It reminds me of how I couldn't get a friend who was black to move into a non-black neighborhood. She wanted to be with people like her. Well, what are people going to think if they see that over and over?
Originally Posted by slinky1
Did it happen to be your neighborhood?
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You said you socialized with blacks more. White people talk amongst themselves about blacks seeming to all know one another and all of that. Like your friends said. And we hear all kinds of bad things about how racist and awful whites are, and we wonder. Seriously.

You lived in Austria? Well, I guess you have perspectives that I couldn't possibly have from that alone.
Originally Posted by slinky1
Most of my friends at my university are Black, yes. But I have other friends of other races. Most of my friends in San Diego are Mexican or Asian or White. All my friends in Austria were White.

I really do not know what you're saying here.
Originally Posted by sleepymeko
How many blacks are in Austria? Not too many.

Anyway, whites are badgered by messages from media about how we don't ALLOW blacks into our communities and how we EXCLUDE them from our lives, but it seems like it is often the choice of blacks to separate themselves the majority of the time. You said you hang out with blacks MOST of the time. Which is fine, but it does affect perceptions. Because most blacks do this. We can all share anecdotes of this, wherever we live.

It reminds me of how I couldn't get a friend who was black to move into a non-black neighborhood. She wanted to be with people like her. Well, what are people going to think if they see that over and over?
Originally Posted by slinky1
Are you seriously implying that people in general don't hang out with people who are more similar to them? Except black folks?

Where do you live?

It reminds me of how I couldn't get a friend who was black to move into a non-black neighborhood. She wanted to be with people like her. Well, what are people going to think if they see that over and over?
Originally Posted by slinky1
I guess that we want to be w/ people like us.
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White people really feel that way.
Originally Posted by slinky1
No.
Slinky, have you considered that perhaps you're the reason that a Black person may prefer to hang out with other Black people?
I wish I knew who to nod to and who not to nod to.

Where I live, I see some generalizations among the black population.

Caribbeans are nodders. Greetings are often exchanged. This is what I grew up with.

Canadian-raised are not nodders. They often just walk on by.

Africans are not nodders. I'm just another face in the crowd even though my colour matches theirs.

I try not to be offended if I've mistaken them for Caribbean and been nod-burned.

If I see an older black person, out of respect I usually greet them.
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Back to topic ... It's like bikers that wave at each other across the road? Nothing wrong with that.

Nod on.
scrills and Rimi like this.
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Back to topic ... It's like bikers that wave at each other across the road? Nothing wrong with that.

Nod on.
Originally Posted by Spider
Agreed. Or owners of Jeep Wranglers...they wave.
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You're overthinking it. It's called "a greeting."
Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000
I don't think it's overthinking when my non-Black friends started making comments about this and why do we always nod at each other.
Originally Posted by sleepymeko
You know what you're supposed to say in response, right? Plz tell me you know what you're supposed to say!
Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000
It's a _____ thing. You wouldn't understand.

Gone fill it in.


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Funny, I was going to make the motorcycle/Jeep wave comment. I was beat to the punch.

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Seriously, Slinky, it is the tendency of EVERY human being, when they feel different than the majority, to gravitate towards people similar to them.

Being white and always living in primarily white areas, I personally have never felt different due to race. My closest approximation is engineering school, where I have been in 200 person classes with as few as three females, total. Without even thinking, I instantly gravitated towards the other girls in those classes. And that was me having to feel like a minority for like, 4 hours a week. Ponder for a second, feeling like that everywhere you go, then decide if you want to keep spewing all that rudeness.

Not to mention, FILTER. I have serious doubts that anyone on this site will change your mind, but you do not need to say these things out loud just because they are in your head. Think about your audience.

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LOL, we used to do the nod in college too. My closest White friend said the same thing to me.
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The best way I tried to explain it to a male White friend was that, he would do the same thing if there was such a small percentage of White people at our school.
Originally Posted by sleepymeko
meko chérie... next time someone says something so dumb, tell them that you're passing signals as part of a super-secret plot to take over the world!



as one of the 4% of (natural) redheads on the planet - and who knows how many additional with dyed hair - i can tell you that we don't greet each other as such; it's just an eye flick in the direction of someone with your colouring.

we already know that Redheads Rule!

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So what do you suggest us minorities should think about White people who only interact with other White people?
Originally Posted by sleepymeko
This is one thing we spoke about while I was in college in one of our several "getting to know one anther" forums.

Some of the white students expressed discomfort when they see groups of one race hanging out...but yet it didn't bother them (or they didn't notice) white kids hanging out with other whites.
Originally Posted by Trenell
I've also noticed most white people get very uncomfortable in majority black places. But when I mention a place is too white for me, they think I'm being weird.
Back to topic ... It's like bikers that wave at each other across the road? Nothing wrong with that.

Nod on.
Originally Posted by Spider
Agreed. Or owners of Jeep Wranglers...they wave.
Originally Posted by cailin
Mazda miata drivers do it too.


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spiderlashes5000 likes this.
Makes sense to me. When I was traveling in Japan as a gaijin, I noticed that I would acknowledge other gaijin with a flick of the eyes, and they would do it to me.
As someone born in the USSR, there is some level of recognition when I run into other Russian-speakers. It's natural to make some kind of connection work people who are like you in some way, especially if your group is not in the majority.
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Up until this second, I never thought the nod thing was anything serious. It's merely a greeting. Like when other ethnic or racial groups greet each other with a handshake, a wave or kisses planted on each cheek.

Regarding the other issue, I grew up in a predominantly orthodox Jewish neighborhood. Every single second of each day during my childhood, there were constant reminders on how different I was. My junior high and high school had diverse populations and blacks made up at least a third of the student body in both cases. It was extremely comforting for me just to see and greet other black people. It's human nature for people to gravitate toward those that share their heritage and look like them. Why some whites find the sight of a group of blacks, Asians or whatever other ethnic group hanging out together so threatening, I'll never understand. I could care less when I see a group of whites hanging out together.
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So what do you suggest us minorities should think about White people who only interact with other White people?
Originally Posted by sleepymeko
This is one thing we spoke about while I was in college in one of our several "getting to know one anther" forums.

Some of the white students expressed discomfort when they see groups of one race hanging out...but yet it didn't bother them (or they didn't notice) white kids hanging out with other whites.
Originally Posted by Trenell
I've also noticed most white people get very uncomfortable in majority black places. But when I mention a place is too white for me, they think I'm being weird.
Originally Posted by Josephine
That's easy. White is the default in our society. Anything else is inferior or threatening.
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Well I guess now that Slinky has pinpointed the root of all prejudice (you know, black folk being friendly with each other and all, making the white folk uncomfortable), I'm sure it can all be sorted now.
IMO, i think white people (i'm speaking generally, not all whites) are afraid of blacks. I think most white people really havent been around blacks too often and all they see is stereotypes on tv and movies. So when they see a gang of black boys they think,"could they be in a gang", not, "oh they just got from sports practice". I dont thing its also them beign racists, but just ignorant to the unknown.

I think some minorites tend to stick with their "own kind", because of this ignorance. Having to explain the "black nod" does not occur among blacks. having to explain this is like having to explain who you are. Some folks would rather avoid this.
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