Not wanting to be skinny - Page 7

Saria · 07-31-2012, 11:44 AM

I also don't think anyone's jumping on you. It's a pretty civil conversation about why the two are different. As Amneris pointed out, the words used imply that there's no difference, and while they're both wrong, there is still a difference both in the cause and effect of either one.

B-Nessa11 · 07-31-2012, 12:13 PM

And with that being said, back to not wanting to be skinny!

I worked out 3 times yesterday. I'm going to get these 20lbs OFF! However, I don't wana be skinny lol

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multicultcurly · 07-31-2012, 01:34 PM

I think there is a difference between desirable skinny which is slender or thin & actually not skinny as in skin & bones. Skinny used to be an insult not a compliment as it is today.

I have female relatives who were very thin. One was very flat chested. She was relentlessly teased by males & females. I think that is on par w fat shaming because "real" women have breasts.

The difference between desirable skinny & fat is that most people aren't disgusted w thin as they are with fatness. Super thin shows willpower; fatness equates to laziness. The difference between skin & bones skinniness & fatness is that people feel sympathy for bony people but not toward fat people.

Trenell · 07-31-2012, 02:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by annabananalise

Quote:

Originally Posted by iroc

I agree. I don't like a 6 pack on women either. I also believe that women should be softer, and rounder. I don't think women should sacrifice time spent in their home, with their families, children, and husband, so they can work out for 3 hours a day.

I think our obsession with thinspo is out of control. And yes, I resent that some women obsess to be thinner and fitter after having children BC its supposed to be some higher achievement.

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I don't know. Some people (men and women) enjoy fitness and working out, and it has nothing to do with being thin. I don't think we should be saying women should be softer and rounder.

And if a woman wants to work out and not be at home with the chilluns then w/e.

And you don't have to work out 3 hours a day to be toned. And yes, I wanted to get back down to my normal weight after having my son. No shame in that.

Nej · 07-31-2012, 02:45 PM

I get the difference between fat and thin shaming but as a teenage girl being told that my body was disgusting and that no man would ever want to have sex with me was extremelly hurtful and damaging. as an adult I get the difference I truly do but feelings are feelings and I can tell you it hurt and to this day I still feel that I am undesirable by me and it makes me mad to be told that other people have it worse. I was 80 lbs and i guarantee you nothing was disguised as a compliment. I can have my own feelings and still see how it all fits into the bigger picture. So we should all be quiet because other people have it worse? If that was the case then we would all have to keep our mouths shut because somebody is always going to have it worse.

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iroc · 07-31-2012, 05:18 PM

Once again, nobody said people should be shamed for being criticized for their body. The conversation was that thin shaming does not equal fat shaming. It exists, I'm sure people had to endure it, but it's not equal.

And many people have had short 'periods' in their life where they were bullied for their shape and size. Well everyone is bullied for something in high school. Many overweight people live their lives that way. Its a lifelong struggle.

Of course that doesn't mean you weren't effected by it as well. What I have a problem with is the 'thin people have it tough too' comments when someone is talking about their larger size. It's not the time or the place.

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juicyfruit · 07-31-2012, 07:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Saria

Eh, I've known men who liked women with a bit of a belly. My ex thought they were cute and preferred them to a flat stomach. Of course, I still like having it flat!

I've known several men who like that.

ursula · 07-31-2012, 09:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nej

I get the difference between fat and thin shaming but as a teenage girl being told that my body was disgusting and that no man would ever want to have sex with me was extremelly hurtful and damaging. as an adult I get the difference I truly do but feelings are feelings and I can tell you it hurt and to this day I still feel that I am undesirable by me and it makes me mad to be told that other people have it worse. I was 80 lbs and i guarantee you nothing was disguised as a compliment. I can have my own feelings and still see how it all fits into the bigger picture. So we should all be quiet because other people have it worse? If that was the case then we would all have to keep our mouths shut because somebody is always going to have it worse.

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I don't think you should be quiet. An individual's experience with thin shaming can be just as painful as another individual's experience with fat shaming. It's the context that's different--like you said, the big picture. I'm sorry that you went through such a painful experience. It's terrible to endure those kinds of attacks about our bodies, especially as a teenager. But an individual person's pain doesn't change the larger context. Even if 20 people told you that you were too thin to be attractive, and that affected you as a person profoundly (as of course it would), it doesn't change the larger culture's message about thinness.

Nej · 07-31-2012, 10:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ursula

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nej

I get the difference between fat and thin shaming but as a teenage girl being told that my body was disgusting and that no man would ever want to have sex with me was extremelly hurtful and damaging. as an adult I get the difference I truly do but feelings are feelings and I can tell you it hurt and to this day I still feel that I am undesirable by me and it makes me mad to be told that other people have it worse. I was 80 lbs and i guarantee you nothing was disguised as a compliment. I can have my own feelings and still see how it all fits into the bigger picture. So we should all be quiet because other people have it worse? If that was the case then we would all have to keep our mouths shut because somebody is always going to have it worse.

Sent from my iPhone - blame autocorrect for everything strange

I don't think you should be quiet. An individual's experience with thin shaming can be just as painful as another individual's experience with fat shaming. It's the context that's different--like you said, the big picture. I'm sorry that you went through such a painful experience. It's terrible to endure those kinds of attacks about our bodies, especially as a teenager. But an individual person's pain doesn't change the larger context. Even if 20 people told you that you were too thin to be attractive, and that affected you as a person profoundly (as of course it would), it doesn't change the larger culture's message about thinness.

I agree with this. Pretty much what I was attempting to say.