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Old 08-14-2012, 05:29 AM   #21
 
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^^

This is true. IDK why women like to blame other women besides actually blaming the dude SMH!
Because anger at a stranger is easier to deal with than hurt, shock and grief caused by someone you love. The first step of grief (of anything major, including relationships) is disbelief. To that end, most people will somehow try to make it not be their BFs fault. "He wouldnt do that. It was that itch's fault. She tried to seduce him," etc etc.
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Old 08-14-2012, 05:52 AM   #22
 
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And how does he know your mom?
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Old 08-14-2012, 07:37 AM   #23
 
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Just stop talking to him and leave it alone.

I know I would be fuming of I was the other woman and you messaged me, but not at him, at you. I know that's an unreasonable reaction but like The New Black Said it is alot easier to be angry.

Plus, I think your fuelling the fire by still talking to him and it's innapproprate that you are.







Plus I think youstill talking to him
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Old 08-14-2012, 08:54 AM   #24
 
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If you were close w/ the gf, then yes, def. But it seems you don't know her...so what reason would she have to believe you?

Besides, "flirting" or whatever on FB is really not cheating. He could be playing around w/ his friends and sending you these messages just for ishes and giggles or for any other reason. If he was saying it in person and trying to act on it, OK. But I wouldn't stir up a lot of drama over some FB messages.
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Old 08-14-2012, 09:10 AM   #25
 
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Well then a good way to get him to leave you alone is say "I know you are with xyz chick. So unless you want me to forward your messages/texts to her, I will ask one last time that you lose my number." Use her real name so he knows you're serious. That would shut me up real quick! lol
And unfriend him on FB...that's a no-brainier.
It's only a no brainer if you actually want the guy to stop paying attention to you. If you get off on the drama, of course you wouldn't defriend him!

sleepymeko, you should have stopped talking to this guy a long time ago if you believe he his a cheating dirtbag. Instead you've allowed him to keep in touch, building drama, and are now considering jumping right into the middle of a big dramatic immature relationship. Maybe you should put some of that energy into considering why you attract this type of person to you, and why you allow it to continue?
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Old 08-14-2012, 10:24 AM   #26
 
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I would stay out of it. Seems like this is normal for him. If she was a friend of some sort, then it obviously be different. I also wonder why do you continue to talk to him (fb chat). I would defriend him as well.
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Old 08-14-2012, 12:44 PM   #27
 
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I don't consider him much of a friend, honestly. He pursued me but when I found out, I started avoiding him.
i'd block the idiot. can't you do that on FB?
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Old 08-14-2012, 01:18 PM   #28
 
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And how does he know your mom?
He met me through my mother. He was telling her he likes Black women, etc. My mother showed him a picture of me.


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Just stop talking to him and leave it alone.

I know I would be fuming of I was the other woman and you messaged me, but not at him, at you. I know that's an unreasonable reaction but like The New Black Said it is alot easier to be angry.

Plus, I think your fuelling the fire by still talking to him and it's innapproprate that you are.







Plus I think youstill talking to him
I'm not talking to him. I haven't talked to him in months. I'm not fueling anything. Why am I being blamed for his doggy behavior. Women sometimes, I swear LOL.


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Well then a good way to get him to leave you alone is say "I know you are with xyz chick. So unless you want me to forward your messages/texts to her, I will ask one last time that you lose my number." Use her real name so he knows you're serious. That would shut me up real quick! lol
And unfriend him on FB...that's a no-brainier.
It's only a no brainer if you actually want the guy to stop paying attention to you. If you get off on the drama, of course you wouldn't defriend him!

sleepymeko, you should have stopped talking to this guy a long time ago if you believe he his a cheating dirtbag. Instead you've allowed him to keep in touch, building drama, and are now considering jumping right into the middle of a big dramatic immature relationship. Maybe you should put some of that energy into considering why you attract this type of person to you, and why you allow it to continue?
Doing it for attention? Oh boy! This feels like the typical response women seem to have for other women. I'm to blame eh? Anyway, I thought I did delete him off my FB, but I blocked him instead so I wasn't seeing his updates (I block everyone). I already deleted him off my FB. Got some moody women on here. Sheesh. I was just asking if I should tell the women, now I'm being accused of wanting attention, LOL ok. FYI, it is not my responsibility to do anything. Whether that's talk to him or not (which I don't, which I already stated but some of you have seemed to not have read what I said).

I didn't attract him to me. My mother gave him my contact info and he contacted me. Some of you chicks have problems. lol.

Anyway, I decided to tell her. I'm going to do it annoymously so I don't get anything. But I'm not going to stand by and let someone get **** on. She can do whatever she wants.

Me "looking for attention" or not, I'm going to tell her because it's the good thing to do. RME at this woman blaming.
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Old 08-14-2012, 01:26 PM   #29
 
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I don't blame you at all. But yes, that's the typical response you will get here and I suspect on other forums from some women. LOL. You MUST be encouraging him. LOL. C'mon...seriously. She stated the facts in the OP.

You already said you are not talking to him anymore after you found out he had a gf.

Goodluck with telling her. I DO consider when a man is pursuing another woman (even if it's just words--but only he knows that---probably is looking to get the opportunity to act on it) and he has a partner, cheating. To those who don't think it is, would you call it harmless if you found out your partner was doing the same thing? I think not. If my partner was sending PMs to another woman and talking about "hanging out" and "beating that ass up" best believe I would be FUMED and he'd be gone.

Good luck Sleepymeko! (even though I would stay out of it)
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Old 08-14-2012, 01:28 PM   #30
 
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No.

I say this based off experience. Im a waitress and one of my coworkers, a cook, tried to get me to sleep with him. Never mind that his pregnant girlfriend is a fellow server. I told him no and stopped answering his messages, and never mentioned it to anyone. No use in causing any drama over something that I was putting a stop to.

Not that I feel like that's what you're doing...i don't know why some of ya'll are spazzing on her. She asked a genuine question to help guide her to a decision. Chill out.


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Old 08-14-2012, 01:30 PM   #31
 
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I don't consider him much of a friend, honestly. He pursued me but when I found out, I started avoiding him.
i'd block the idiot. can't you do that on FB?
I did hid him or blocked him on FB about two months ago. I haven't spoken to him since I found out about the GF which was in late May. I was FB chatting a friend and he popped up again. At first it was the usual small talk so I thought he was just being friendly (as in platonic) and I assumed he probably made a mistake with trying to pursue me in the spring, but then he started it again and I kept telling him he has a cute GF and he kept brushing it off. A complete dog! I did delete him later though and his number. Probably shouldn't have deleted his number though, just in case he calls and I answer it b/c I don't know who it is. But I'm going to assume he'll go away since I haven't been bitting.
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Old 08-14-2012, 01:31 PM   #32
 
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No.

I say this based off experience. Im a waitress and one of my coworkers, a cook, tried to get me to sleep with him. Never mind that his pregnant girlfriend is a fellow server. I told him no and stopped answering his messages, and never mentioned it to anyone. No use in causing any drama over something that I was putting a stop to.

Not that I feel like that's what you're doing...i don't know why some of ya'll are spazzing on her. She asked a genuine question to help guide her to a decision. Chill out.


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YES!
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Old 08-14-2012, 01:34 PM   #33
 
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I don't blame you at all. But yes, that's the typical response you will get here and I suspect on other forums from some women. LOL. You MUST be encouraging him. LOL. C'mon...seriously. She stated the facts in the OP.

You already said you are not talking to him anymore after you found out he had a gf.

Goodluck with telling her. I DO consider when a man is pursuing another woman (even if it's just words--but only he knows that---probably is looking to get the opportunity to act on it) and he has a partner, cheating. To those who don't think it is, would you call it harmless if you found out your partner was doing the same thing? I think not. If my partner was sending PMs to another woman and talking about "hanging out" and "beating that ass up" best believe I would be FUMED and he'd be gone.

Good luck Sleepymeko! (even though I would stay out of it)
Thank you gurl. I actually expected these types of comments. People always find a way to blame the other woman when I had no idea he had a girlfriend until I stalked his FB because I felt he was very fishy. Like I said, he does public speaking and has his own company. He seemed to have a way with words and just seemed too "good". So I looked all over his FB and eventually found a girlfriend. Who I thought was very beautiful and just graduated form dental school (I found out from her FB). I feel awful for her because I feel like she can do better. And here her BF is, hitting me up in San Diego (he probably does it in other cities for all I know since she's in the Bay Area). SMH. He even tried it with my neighbor!!! LOL. I told her what I found out about him, having a secret GF and she was shocked. He's a gross player!

Some women act like men have no control of their diqs, it must be the woman's fault! Haha!
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Old 08-14-2012, 01:56 PM   #34
 
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No and yes.

If you don't have proof of him cheating, then you can't tell her that he is a cheater.

Maybe you could tell her that he was flirting with you, suggested you two hook up, but when you found out about her, you stopped talking to him. She can then draw her own conclusions.

(OT: I hate Facebook.)
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Old 08-14-2012, 02:06 PM   #35
 
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sleepymeko, you confuse me.

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The proof is him talking to me over messenger and begging to hang out with me all the time to make men jealous.
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I avoid him when he writes on my FB status updates that we need to meet up. The only reason why I spoke to him recently was because he caught me online on FB and chatted with me :/
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Anyway, I thought I did delete him off my FB, but I blocked him instead so I wasn't seeing his updates (I block everyone). I already deleted him off my FB.
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I did hid him or blocked him on FB about two months ago. I haven't spoken to him since I found out about the GF which was in late May. I was FB chatting a friend and he popped up again.
So you blocked him and then he wrote on your status updates. You blocked him and then he started a chat with you?

You're either really confused about how Facebook works or … ?

And you're not talking to him — except for those times you were talking to him.

Also you seem to be trying to make a point about women being negative about other women here. Or something. Here's a question for the group: who do you think is down on women? Women who ask reasonable questions about someone's true motivations? Or the one who carries on with:

Quote:
Originally Posted by sleepymeko
I'm not talking to him. I haven't talked to him in months. I'm not fueling anything. Why am I being blamed for his doggy behavior. Women sometimes, I swear LOL.
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Originally Posted by sleepymeko
Some of you chicks have problems. lol.
Here's a thought. If you want to make a big point about women not hating on other women, you might want to drop the word "chicks" from your vocabulary. And it might help to not make sweeping generalizations about women's behavior, hinting they're vindictive/untrustworthy,etc.

Oops, almost forgot: LOL
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Old 08-14-2012, 03:00 PM   #36
 
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So you blocked him and then he wrote on your status updates. You blocked him and then he started a chat with you?

You're either really confused about how Facebook works or … ?

And you're not talking to him — except for those times you were talking to him.

Also you seem to be trying to make a point about women being negative about other women here. Or something. Here's a question for the group: who do you think is down on women? Women who ask reasonable questions about someone's true motivations? Or the one who carries on with:
He only wrote on it once and that was the same day that he messaged me. I am NOT talking to him, what are you not getting? And why are you going in at me for this man paying attention to me when I had no idea he had a GF initially? Any advice or comments you have towards me on this matter will further be ignored since you're set on making me appear as a bad person when I SAID I do not speak to him, minus last week when he contacted me when I haven't spoken to him since last Spring.

Quote:
Here's a thought. If you want to make a big point about women not hating on other women, you might want to drop the word "chicks" from your vocabulary. And it might help to not make sweeping generalizations about women's behavior, hinting they're vindictive/untrustworthy,etc.

Oops, almost forgot: LOL
You sure are touchy about this subject. Wonder if your man cheated on you? That's what is sounds like because you're taking this way to personally by blaming me for stuff I have no responsibility over. It's not my responsibility to look out for his GF and it's not my responsibility to remind him he has a gf. You're trying to pick one me for asking for reasonable advice if I should tell the other women. Take that to the therapist gurl, I do not have time for this.

Regardless, it's cute you're offended, but I ain't got time for that. And yes, add the LOL. Poor men and the women that seduce and beg for their attention
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Old 08-14-2012, 03:10 PM   #37
 
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Yes
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Old 08-14-2012, 03:11 PM   #38
 
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And I fully back you up on every topic above
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Old 08-14-2012, 03:20 PM   #39
 
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And I fully back you up on every topic above
Thank you!
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Old 08-14-2012, 04:08 PM   #40
 
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I was also confused because you said that you fb chatted with him and he posted on your wall posts about meeting up. I'm guessing now that was a while back before you deleted him.

I've had men hit on me (irl) that I know had fiancees. And I know they cheat. I understand some women are naive and might benefit from being told but I didn't want to get involved. I feel neutral about it. If they get mad at you, at least you tried. My sister tried to tell our childhood friend that her guy was a dog and she got upset at everyone but the guy so now she doesn't say anything anymore. I know if it were me, I would want to be told.
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