There's nothing for me to "back off" of. I haven't mentioned this to my exhd or his sister. Any pettiness I may or may not be engaging in, is limited to this board.
I just talked to my daughter about it twice. The first time I said, "make sure you bring the hair products I gave you with you to auntie's house so she can use them on you."
And the second time, I asked my daughter if her aunt used the producs I gave her. And my daughter said, "I asked her to but she said 'I've been around the block a few times and I know how to wash hair. Just like your mother can wash hair, I can wash hair, too. Those products are for adults; these (hers) are better for you'."
And then my daughter said after her hair was washed, dried and pressed, her aunt said, "See, this is how your hair is supposd to feel."
I haven't brought it up yet to my exhusband. And I have not and probably would not to my SIL bc we haven't spoken in 5 years.
I will probably mention it to him in an email I'm sending to him today about our holiday visitation schedule.
But I'm not holding out much hope...it seems like a fight I can't win...hence the rant/vent here.