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Curly Gurus
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196Likes
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10-14-2012, 01:36 PM
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#41
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 69
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I worked as a Hostess for nearly four years. I also had to wait on people. Some people are just craby and expect you to know everything and treat them like a God just because of your title. I once had a woman tell me her fried chicken was crispier and her salad had more lettuce than the last time she was there..... She was seriously upset about that. I also had a lot of regulars who were great and always made my job easy. These were the people I enjoyed serving and I always made an extra effort to make them happy. The managers have heard every complaint under the sun and know that some guests just want to complain for no reason or want a free meal. A guest once ate a burger and had a bite left. He then asked for the manager and claimed he did not want cheese on the burger he just ate.
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10-14-2012, 03:09 PM
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#42
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 25,087
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OH COME ON! That's not funny - it's offensive to suggest that people of colour were "racist." Way to trivialize a serious issue.
__________________
Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali
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10-14-2012, 03:20 PM
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#43
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,355
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I'm sorry for being so rude and offensive.
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If you can read this then you're standing too close.
Last edited by Speckla; 10-14-2012 at 06:45 PM.
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10-14-2012, 03:21 PM
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#44
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 13,238
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Good Lord!! Not everyone in this thread knows or needs to know the sociological definition of racism! Yes I understand we as Black people don't have the (societal) power to truly be racist. But I think many here are using the word racism/t interchangeably with prejudice or discrimination. Gee whiz...
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 No MAS.
I am the new Black.
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10-14-2012, 03:22 PM
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#45
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 25,087
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OK, so you're being serious, not making a poor attempt at humour. Complaining about someone else's racism, however mistaken or misguided those complaints may be, is not a belief that races possess specific characteristics or prejudice directed at someone based on those beliefs. Doing it to be a jerk or get free stuff doesn't fit that definition, either.
I know there isn't one universal definition of racism, but that one is pretty lousy. For one thing, racism isn't simply preconceived notions about races possessing certain traits, but a belief in the inherent inferiority of some races and the inherent superiority of others. Also racism isn't just about prejudice, but about prejudice PLUS power.
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Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali
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10-14-2012, 03:26 PM
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#46
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 25,087
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A Black person saying everybody hates Black people isn't being racist. Bitter and over-generalizing, yes, but also partially rooted in reality, and not racist.
__________________
Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali
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10-14-2012, 03:28 PM
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#47
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 25,087
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(Justified) resentment is not racism.
__________________
Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali
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10-14-2012, 03:33 PM
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#48
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,355
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.
__________________
If you can read this then you're standing too close.
Last edited by Speckla; 10-14-2012 at 06:45 PM.
Reason: Computered locked
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10-14-2012, 03:35 PM
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#49
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 25,087
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Having something against A white person is NOT the same thing as being a racist. I honestly cannot make sense at all of your longer post so I have no idea what you meant. But I do not believe that people of colour can ever be racist. Can they hold prejudices, be resentful, be jerks, treat other people badly, or generalize about people? Sure. But that in and of itself is not racism.
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Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali
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10-14-2012, 03:39 PM
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#50
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 25,087
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And no one is trying to deny you that right. But when you offer an opinion that others find incomprehensible or incorrect or based on factual errors, they also have the right to express that.
I am not sure what me overthinking or overanalyzing has to do with anything. I don't have to overthink this issue because it is very familiar to me. I have worked, studied, lectured and published extensively on this topic as well as living it. Anyway, I would rather overthink it than put out a series of posts like yours that are illogical, incomprehensible and based on flimsy to no factual or scholarly basis. For example, what does this even mean?
It's prejudice but the power to hold down or back a race or culture that you find to be inferior back on skin color or other physical features.
__________________
Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali
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10-14-2012, 03:42 PM
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#51
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,355
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.
__________________
If you can read this then you're standing too close.
Last edited by Speckla; 10-14-2012 at 06:46 PM.
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10-14-2012, 03:45 PM
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#52
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 6,876
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I don't see how she's agitated at all. I think she genuinely doesn't understand what you're trying to say. I'm a bit confused myself.
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10-14-2012, 03:47 PM
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#53
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 25,087
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It's not a touchy subject to me, and I'm not agitated. I legitimately thought you were joking when I saw your post because it honestly seemed so ridiculous to me and to come out of nowhere. I see now you were serious, so I apologize for assuming that you were trying to be funny (if anything, that was giving you the benefit of the doubt compared to how the rest of your posts in the thread seem to me.) I'm glad you weren't actually joking about a serious subject and I am sorry I accused you of that. I stand by the rest of my posts - and their tone.
__________________
Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali
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10-14-2012, 03:58 PM
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#54
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,355
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.
__________________
If you can read this then you're standing too close.
Last edited by Speckla; 10-14-2012 at 06:46 PM.
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10-14-2012, 04:03 PM
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#55
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,355
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.
__________________
If you can read this then you're standing too close.
Last edited by Speckla; 10-14-2012 at 06:47 PM.
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10-14-2012, 04:05 PM
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#56
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Join Date: May 2001
Posts: 12,413
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From Dictionary.com...
racism
Origin
rac·ism
[rey-siz-uhm] Show IPA
noun 1.a belief or doctrine that inherent differences among the various human races determine cultural or individual achievement, usually involving the idea that one's own race is superior and has the right to rule others.
2.a policy, system of government, etc., based upon or fostering such a doctrine; discrimination.
3. hatred or intolerance of another race or other races.
I think Speckla is speaking to the 3rd definition.
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10-14-2012, 04:11 PM
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#57
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,355
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.
__________________
If you can read this then you're standing too close.
Last edited by Speckla; 10-14-2012 at 06:47 PM.
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10-14-2012, 05:10 PM
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#58
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Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 15,451
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I'm just having a really hard time understanding how it's more plausible that black patrons could be racist but not plausible that a white server could be racist. And not specifically referring to CIBC's situation, just generally. Reading all of these posts saying "people say anything for a free lunch" you would think that the general situation (i.e., experiencing racism in a restaurant) is all just fabricated bs. That's what bothers me. Someone even said, "I know US history says x, but y is the truth." I'm like.....oh, ok. LOL
No one cares about the proper definition of anything until it's on a topic that concerns them, that is clear. Perhaps you are underthinking, Speckla. Everything doesn't boil down to a Beatles song. To borrow a quote, the facts matter.
Racism is not always intended, overt, or done from a place of hate. I know, hard to believe, right. Lot's of racist people don't even "hate" the objects of their racism they just think they should stick with their own kind, not be uppity, not date their children, not go to school with their kids, "it's the way we've always done things," etc.
I have never known CIBC to be racist. However, it could be that this man took something she did (in action, said something, whatever) as evidence that she thought they were inferior. It may not have even been the taking the menu thing....that's just what she thinks triggered the reaction. One thing I noticed is she never described the family as black until the very end of the story. Sounds like it was a mega misunderstanding if anything.
If you post something on here, get ready for responses. Really, from anyone or everyone. You don't have the right to comment and have no one disagree with you. Sorry, you don't.
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"In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer."
4a, mbl, low porosity, normal thickness, fine hair.
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10-14-2012, 05:40 PM
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#59
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Join Date: Oct 2000
Posts: 8,459
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My manager and the hostess both commented that the two women seemed mortified and embarrassed. Not because of me, but because of the man.
I think that says it all, that he's just a loud-mouth who reports people to their managers all the time and they go along with him instead of telling him to cut it out.
I've also had people be quite rude and demanding/entitled and had their children or spouses criticize them right in front of me and tell them,"Be nice!"
I know I did everything in my power to be a good server and rectify the situation. They didn't give me the chance to.
I KNOW I'm not better than anybody. The last couple of years have been the most humbling I could imagine.
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10-14-2012, 05:48 PM
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#60
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Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 1,014
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I dont think you did anything racist at all. The times Ive have actual racism they completely ignored the fact we were sitting there. Some people are very sensitive to everything, I dont think what they did was right at all, but perhaps its happened to them multiple times before and unfortunately just have a bad taste in their mouth from it. So sadly everyone is gonna get the repercussions of it. Or they may of been using that as an excuse for a free meal. Ive also seen tons of people act a hot mess because acting like someone treated them wrong even when they didnt would get them something free whether it be a meal or a product of some sort.
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