Carpooling and Fairness

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She drives on Tuesdays always
You drive on Sundays always

So if today is Sunday, you would drive regardless of whether she missed a bunch of times and you had to drive on Tuesday by yourself.

It's fair in terms of when you carpool, it seems unfair because of the number of times you have had to drive alone (but that doesn't count as part of the carpool)
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Wait. Now I'm confused.


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Originally Posted by iroc
Hmm. What's confusing? I've been driving by myself with the exception of 4 times since September 4. Tonight we're actually going together so I figured she'd drive. the last time we were together she drove so she says it's not her turn.

I think it's her turn because the last time we drove together was 2 weeks ago and she drove then... but since then I've been going and driving.

ETA: We're carpooling to save gas $$ and mileage. So that's why I think it's not equitable-- I have been neither saving gas nor money since she has only been there 4 times in a month and a half.
Originally Posted by Springcurl

But she hasn't been going. You would be going anyway. What does she have to do with your personal commute to somewhere?

Originally I thought you were giving the days you went together.

I get that if it were you, you would be considerate and offer to drive. Thats very nice. Unfortunately not everyone is that nice.


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I think it's her turn because the last time we drove together was 2 weeks ago and she drove then... but since then I've been going and driving.
Originally Posted by Springcurl
She drove last time, it's your turn this time.
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Wait. Now I'm confused.


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Originally Posted by iroc
Hmm. What's confusing? I've been driving by myself with the exception of 4 times since September 4. Tonight we're actually going together so I figured she'd drive. the last time we were together she drove so she says it's not her turn.

I think it's her turn because the last time we drove together was 2 weeks ago and she drove then... but since then I've been going and driving.

ETA: We're carpooling to save gas $$ and mileage. So that's why I think it's not equitable-- I have been neither saving gas nor money since she has only been there 4 times in a month and a half.
Originally Posted by Springcurl

But she hasn't been going. You would be going anyway. What does she have to do with your personal commute to somewhere?

Originally I thought you were giving the days you went together.

I get that if it were you, you would be considerate and offer to drive. Thats very nice. Unfortunately not everyone is that nice.


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Originally Posted by iroc
I guess I don't see how the other woman isn't being nice either
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She doesn't go so I drive by myself. I'm basically assuming fairness based on wear and tear of my car-- it's a 45 mile drive each way. Certainly that's what I would do if I were in her shoes, but whatever.
Originally Posted by Springcurl
Yeah, then I agree with her. According to your thought process if she doesn't always go then every time you do go together she should be driving because you drove yourself the past X times when she was not there. And that's not really carpooling, that's just her giving you a ride when she goes .
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Spring, I m with her too. Sorry.


Eta. Is she supposed to go every time you go?
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Last edited by maria_i; 10-17-2012 at 08:40 PM.
Yeah, this is why I hate carpooling. Too many gray areas.

It doesn't make sense to make her drive when she hasn't been going to practice, and you'd be going anyway, regardless of whether there was another person in the car. It only makes sense if you're both going anyway.

You're right that it would be a nice gesture for her to say "Hey, I've been out a lot and you've had to go by yourself. Let me drive this time." Not necessary, but considerate.
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Just curious....is it possible she is purposely blowing off certain practices on her scheduled days to drive bc she doesn't want to drive? And she conveniently becomes available for practice only on your days to drive?

If I suspected something like that, then I would understand your POV.

I guess I don't know enought about why she missed so many days or if there was an expectation that you would both attend every practice or at least most. Or if you are on the same team and have the same schedule or if you both play (skate?) at the same location but on different teams w/ different schedules.
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^^I don't think that's the case re "blowing off" because she has missed both her day and Springcurl's day to drive. From what Springcurl posted, she doesn't seem to be discriminating what days she misses.

I do side with you Springcurl in that, if it was me, I would drive if I've missed hella games like that because I would be considerate of the many times I would have "missed my day" and you had to drive alone but not everyone is nice like that unfortunately.

Last edited by coilynapp; 10-18-2012 at 01:35 AM.
She doesn't go so I drive by myself. I'm basically assuming fairness based on wear and tear of my car-- it's a 45 mile drive each way. Certainly that's what I would do if I were in her shoes, but whatever.
Originally Posted by Springcurl
Yeah, but since she didn't go, there would be wear and tear on your car regardless because you still had or wanted to go.

I agree with her, but also don't think it is a big deal either way.
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