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Old 10-18-2012, 11:59 PM   #1
 
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Default Guy I used to date is obsessed with trying to bed me?

OK guys, I dated this guy last October to November. I ended it because of something he did (more of him being absent-minded) and kinda avoided him for a few months. Even though we dated for about 3 weeks, we NEVER slept together. I did sleep over his apt three or four times and we did "fool" around. But he has never seen me naked and never got to touch me sexually. Although, I did touch him "once". One thing I did like about him is that whenever he saw me downtown, he would keep turning his head to stare at me. But, eh... What he did annoyed me.

Fast forward, I message him in March of this year and apologize. We made plans to meet up but never do. I leave town because it's summer. While home, he reveals to me that he thinks about me sexually. I come back to town in September and... Well, it seems like it has turned into an obsession. I did notice when I dated him last year that he remember photos of me on FB, but I didn't put two and two together. But he could recall a photo of me from last Halloween, detail by detail. And I don't own that photo, haven't seen it since December and he wasn't on my FB until recently.

So basically, he started getting on my nerves because his obsession with me and my body got annoying so I told him go sleep with college girls around here since it's a party school and I'm not down for that (I've actually flipped out on him several times). And he pissed me off two weeks ago because he sent me a random text message about how he's a born again Christian (I'm sure he's lying since I told him he's gross, so I assumed he was trying to get in my good graces). So I told him on FB message since he didn't answer my call that I don't like how he comes at me with these sexual things, to man up, etc. In my mind, the best thing to do is to turn him off from me completely so he has no desire for me (and we live in a small town and I've ran into him before -_-).

For some odd reason, regardless of me being a bish to him, etc. he still is overly obsessed with me and I really do not know why. He has other girls around him, IDK why he feels the need to try to invite me to things, etc. I was beginning to think maybe he genuinely likes me, but the obsession with sex makes me doubt that.
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Old 10-19-2012, 12:55 AM   #2
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Ok ... And what do you want?
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Old 10-19-2012, 01:52 AM   #3
 
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odd.

I don't know what to tell you.

Ignore him. It's what most people do, when they don't want to tell someone off.
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Old 10-19-2012, 02:58 AM   #4
 
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Yes ignore him.

What makes you so sure he's obsessed, again? b/c he recalled a photo of you in detail?

No shade but sounds like you enjoy the attention...?
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Old 10-19-2012, 08:43 AM   #5
 
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He may be doing this to every woman, hoping one goes for it- it may not just be you.

And you messaged him to see why he didn't respond? That's sending mixed signals.
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Old 10-19-2012, 09:24 AM   #6
 
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You're leading him on my responding to him. Men like this don't care the content of your response, but just appreciate that you respond.
If it is actually unwanted, don't reply to him anymore :shrug:
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Old 10-19-2012, 09:38 AM   #7
 
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I'd have to agree with everyone else so far. Cut off contact and you'll no longer be receiving his sexual advances.
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Old 10-19-2012, 09:41 AM   #8
 
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Okay, I'm genuinely confused here.
You broke up but then apologized for what? Breaking up? Why?
Two, I would imagine a lot of guys would still dig hitting it with an ex if given the chance. The thing is that you stay in contact with him, so he takes the opportunity to try to get some?
Why do you keep in contact with him if you aren't interested and only dated a few weeks? Were you good friends with him before you started dating?
It doesn't sound like he is pursuing you so much as for whatever reason you are continuing to engage him and he feels the need to steer the conversation toward getting it on. So, why don't you just not talk to him? No talking means he can't make it about sex.
If you are just really into him as a friend and nothing more (though why do you want to be friends when he makes it clear he wants sex?), then make it clear that it's all you want. My guess is he will stop contacting you because he doesn't want to be friends with you.
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Old 10-19-2012, 10:08 AM   #9
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Sounds like he just wants another notch on his belt.
Know who Stifler is?
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Old 10-19-2012, 10:12 AM   #10
 
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Perfectly normal and typical. Guys love to chase and what's hard to get. Doesn't matter how many other girls he can have. Once he gets it, he won't be as interested anymore.

More importantly, what do you want? If you want to know if he might actually like you, I doubt it based on what you've shared.
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Old 10-19-2012, 10:59 AM   #11
 
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Perfectly normal and typical. Guys love to chase and what's hard to get. Doesn't matter how many other girls he can have. Once he gets it, he won't be as interested anymore.

More importantly, what do you want? If you want to know if he might actually like you, I doubt it based on what you've shared.
I am actually thinking of telling him I'm going to get a restraining order since he keeps harassing me. I've told him to stop several times already over the course of a few months. My problem is that, I do respond when he contacts me, usually with insults and telling him to stop and that I think he's disgusting. So, I'll definitely work on not responding anymore. But he just causes me to fill up with a lot of anger because I don't like what he says to me and I've told him this.

I'm overly paranoid of running into him since we live in a small town and I have run into him before. I'll try ignoring him for now on and see if he finally disappears. Because last time I did spoke to him, I told him do not speak to me if he's going to say stupid things to me.
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Old 10-19-2012, 11:01 AM   #12
 
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Block him on all channels of communication: FB, cell, email, etc.
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Old 10-19-2012, 11:02 AM   #13
 
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Originally Posted by Spider View Post
He may be doing this to every woman, hoping one goes for it- it may not just be you.

And you messaged him to see why he didn't respond? That's sending mixed signals.
I messaged him why he keeps bothering me, but he didn't answer. Funny how I made this post last night and he started texting me again -_- I took everyone's advice and ignored the texts.
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Old 10-19-2012, 11:02 AM   #14
 
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A restraining order for someone you have been talking with and apologizing to? That seems a bit out there.
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Old 10-19-2012, 11:03 AM   #15
 
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Block him on all channels of communication: FB, cell, email, etc.
How do you block numbers on cell phones?
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Old 10-19-2012, 11:06 AM   #16
 
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A restraining order for someone you have been talking with and apologizing to? That seems a bit out there.
I apologized to him in March of this year for something that I did. It has nothing to do with anything right now.
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Old 10-19-2012, 11:18 AM   #17
 
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Originally Posted by Saria View Post
Okay, I'm genuinely confused here.
You broke up but then apologized for what? Breaking up? Why?
Two, I would imagine a lot of guys would still dig hitting it with an ex if given the chance. The thing is that you stay in contact with him, so he takes the opportunity to try to get some?
Why do you keep in contact with him if you aren't interested and only dated a few weeks? Were you good friends with him before you started dating?
It doesn't sound like he is pursuing you so much as for whatever reason you are continuing to engage him and he feels the need to steer the conversation toward getting it on. So, why don't you just not talk to him? No talking means he can't make it about sex.
If you are just really into him as a friend and nothing more (though why do you want to be friends when he makes it clear he wants sex?), then make it clear that it's all you want. My guess is he will stop contacting you because he doesn't want to be friends with you.
The story of why we broke up is a long story, lol. It has nothing to do with right now so it isn't worth mentioning. But it was my fault since I misjudged the situation so I apologized, but we weren't talking or hanging out. Because overall, I didn't like him anymore.

(Two). We don't really stay in contact. I apologized in March, and went on with my life. I think I then heard from him in April and he tried to meet up with me, but I flaked and never did. Then I thought about it, because he was a nice guy from what I remembered and we started talking again briefly in the summer, like August. Which is when he started being gross towards me. And I told him to stop. Which he did, so I thought it was over, but it started full force again and has slowly been turning into harassment because I told him I don't like him talking to me that way and we're only friends. And I have no interest in any of that. I like to believe that most people are sane, so I thought he would you know, understand that since I was direct with him. And I told him I don't appreciate him talking to me that way. He stopped again briefly, but seems at it and now I'm here because the harassing me is getting out of control. I've ignored some of them, but I've mostly responded with me telling him to leave me alone.
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Old 10-19-2012, 11:23 AM   #18
 
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Ok, well ignore the texts and block his number and FB. If he still harasses you, then maybe you get the police involved.
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Old 10-19-2012, 11:24 AM   #19
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sleepymeko View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by The New Black View Post
Block him on all channels of communication: FB, cell, email, etc.
How do you block numbers on cell phones?
Some providers can do it, like AT&T. But it costs. I seem to recall I blocked Mr. Cans, and I have Sprint. Call your provider and ask.
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Old 10-19-2012, 11:29 AM   #20
 
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Ok, well ignore the texts and block his number and FB. If he still harasses you, then maybe you get the police involved.
He's been blocked on FB but I'm not sure how to block him on my cell. I have Verizon and an iphone. Anyone know how? Preferably with an app so I don't have to be charged to block this wacko.

I would show you guys the messages he has left me, but they're very gross and weird (and borderline stalkerish). I wish I knew he was a weirdo and pervert before I dated him. Good thing I got out of that!
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