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View Poll Results: Does failure at abuse still count as abuse?
Yes 21 65.63%
No 0 0%
I don't know, but be glad he's out of your life! (My vote, btw) 11 34.38%
Voters: 32. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 12-16-2003, 07:04 AM   #21
 
Join Date: May 1999
Posts: 4,349
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A person's age or an age gap in a relationship is not an indicator of abuse or likelihood to abuse. Look at the number of teenagers in emotionally or physically abusive relationships. Look at the number (majority, thank goodness) of 40 year olds that don't abuse their partners. The only way I could see an age gap as a possible indicator that something is wrong is when the person pretty much exclusively forms relationships with people significantly younger and attempts to control and steer the relationship.

If you think you're being abused, get the heck out or at least, get some distance. I would think that would be a sign that either you are and your feelings are being undercut or you are in a place that means you don't trust the person and have trust issues.
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Old 12-16-2003, 02:17 PM   #22
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
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Posted by Discgirl

Quote:
A person's age or an age gap in a relationship is not an indicator of abuse or likelihood to abuse. Look at the number of teenagers in emotionally or physically abusive relationships. Look at the number (majority, thank goodness) of 40 year olds that don't abuse their partners. The only way I could see an age gap as a possible indicator that something is wrong is when the person pretty much exclusively forms relationships with people significantly younger and attempts to control and steer the relationship.
Although it was wrong for me to generalize, I was talking about men who deliberately seek out only younger, naive woman who are the "Bright Eyed and Bushy Tailed" types, if you know what I mean. I envision this type of man as the one who eventually ends up sending for a "Mail Order Bride" who will speak little or no English.

There are certainly a lot of great marriages where one person is much older than the other person, so I didn't mean to sound as though I was stereotyping that choice. So long as people choose their mates for love and not for the sole attempt to control, abuse or deceive, it's good.
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Old 12-16-2003, 10:08 PM   #23
 
Join Date: May 1999
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It's not so much an age issue as it is a needing to control issue.
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