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Old 11-25-2012, 11:43 AM   #1
 
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Default why are old people so cranky??!!

i was reading on the quilting thread (hope speck will teach me how to quilt) that old people can be crotchety.

i think it's true, because i find myself complaining much more than usual.

why is this??
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Old 11-25-2012, 11:44 AM   #2
 
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They have to put up with younger people.
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Old 11-25-2012, 11:49 AM   #3
 
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I feel like if you're 75 to 80 you've done a lot, been through a lot, seen a lot and you've earned the right to be the way you want to be. I don't suffer fools easily right now, and in 30 years I'll hold my tongue even less because what do I really have to lose?
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Old 11-25-2012, 11:49 AM   #4
 
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They might be sick, lonely, feel useless, tired, bored, fed up with people not taking their good advice, or maybe they're just generally miserable people...who knows?

Why are some young people so cranky? Why is the sky blue?

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Old 11-25-2012, 11:51 AM   #5
 
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I'm young and I'm pretty cranky. If I live that long I'm either going to be (incredibly) insufferable, or I'll go the opposite direction and mellow out. Which is pretty much the two groups the elderly fit into. I mean, they've had to put up with decades of stupid ****.
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Old 11-25-2012, 11:55 AM   #6
 
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I think people just lose tolerance as they age. I know I have.

And much like the customer is always right rule, the respect your elders "rule' is sometimes used as an excuse to be rude and take advantage of others.
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Old 11-25-2012, 12:25 PM   #7
 
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My grandmother was excessively grumpy this Thanksgiving. She complained about the turkey being dry (it was), the stuffing being salty (it was), and the crust of my mom's pie tasting funny (it did). She generally has no filter but was a little more than usual that day. My sister and I found it funny but my mom not so much.

My grandmother is a tough, independent lady and at 96 has recently been through two hip surgeries along with moving to an assisted living facility after living in her own house on her own for thirty years. I think all this change has given her less independence and I am sure she is very angry about it. My mother takes on a role to look out for and sometimes treats her rudely, almost like a child, and I am sure it is embarrassing and demeaning for her.

Anyway I agree with others said that at a certain age you earn the right to be grumpy if you want and getting older brings health issues which can make a person miserable.
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Old 11-25-2012, 12:31 PM   #8
 
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There are physiological and psychological changes that occur as we age. One thing that happens is we lose our "filter." You know how we say or don't say certain things because we know they're not "nice"? The elderly don't have this filter.

Also, I can only imagine how cranky I'll be when my body is achy for no reason and I can't do the things I take for granted now. I started getting arthritis in my 30s, after a couple accidents right in a row. There are days I don't feel like being nice to anyone!
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Old 11-25-2012, 12:45 PM   #9
 
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Because they earn that right.

I look forward to beating people with my purse, or a cane, or something
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Old 11-25-2012, 12:51 PM   #10
 
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They're old.

They're tired.
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Old 11-25-2012, 12:53 PM   #11
 
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I've been very cranky too. I've had to rely on help after I've had surgery and I'm a very independent person. It makes me feel frustrated and useless. It's no different when you get older and have to rely on other people. Fortunately I'm young and was back to normal after I recovered but it's not the same when you're older. And image how much of your dignity you lose when you have to rely on someone else and that person doesn't treat you as an adult.

I've worked in a nursing home as a CNA have heard some many older ladies and gentlemen called 'sweetie' 'honey' 'sugar' and other nicknames in a tone you'd use to address a small child. That's humiliating. They're frustrated and have no other way to vent their frustration. Wouldn't you be cranky?
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Old 11-25-2012, 02:22 PM   #12
 
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They think age makes them "entitled." I hope I don't act that way. I can remember years ago watching older people treat sales people awful. I swore I would never be that person.
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Old 11-25-2012, 02:47 PM   #13
 
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Most of the above...

It's the young cranky people that surprise me more.
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Old 11-25-2012, 02:58 PM   #14
 
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On the other hand, there are old people like my mom (82) and my uncle (89) who are not only NOT cranky, they are happy.

I had a great conversation with my uncle on Thanksgiving about how content he is, how good life is, how thankful he is for his good health and his family and friends. He has not had an easy life by any stretch but he's healthy and has a family who loves him and that's enough for him. (He also got better hearing aids, which has to help! Ha!)

And my mom always has a kind word for everyone and is just generally much beloved by all who know her. She still works part time and loves her job and the students with whom she works. She is in pretty good health and her family absolutely adores her.

Anyway. I think that good health - physical and mental - helps old folks not to be so cranky. I also think having family and friends around, and hobbies to enjoy helps too.
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Old 11-25-2012, 03:11 PM   #15
 
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They're tired, they're body is sore and tired, most of the people they know are dead, and a long life is exhausting.

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Old 11-25-2012, 03:23 PM   #16
 
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Originally Posted by PartyHair View Post
On the other hand, there are old people like my mom (82) and my uncle (89) who are not only NOT cranky, they are happy.

I had a great conversation with my uncle on Thanksgiving about how content he is, how good life is, how thankful he is for his good health and his family and friends. He has not had an easy life by any stretch but he's healthy and has a family who loves him and that's enough for him. (He also got better hearing aids, which has to help! Ha!)

And my mom always has a kind word for everyone and is just generally much beloved by all who know her. She still works part time and loves her job and the students with whom she works. She is in pretty good health and her family absolutely adores her.

Anyway. I think that good health - physical and mental - helps old folks not to be so cranky. I also think having family and friends around, and hobbies to enjoy helps too.
Co-sign. I also think a lot of grumpy older people tended to be disagreeable as young people and that's just a personality trait they have. My grandmother was a typical cranky senior citizen who developed dementia just before she died. However, according to my mother and my aunt, she wasn't always nice or agreeable when they were kids, either. She was just born to be nasty. OTOH, my grandfather, who was just six months older than her, always had a laid back personality and is the same way now at 82. When I see relatively young people with nasty attitudes, I know the chances of them acting the same way when they're elderly increase substantially.
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Old 11-25-2012, 03:30 PM   #17
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Originally Posted by Saria View Post
I'm young and I'm pretty cranky. If I live that long I'm either going to be (incredibly) insufferable, or I'll go the opposite direction and mellow out. Which is pretty much the two groups the elderly fit into. I mean, they've had to put up with decades of stupid ****.
i was going to post that Saria's not old and she hella cranky but u beat me to it
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Old 11-25-2012, 05:15 PM   #18
 
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I've noticed that the ones who seem to be crotchety or cranky is that it tends to be kind of a generational and social boundary.

Some people were simply assertive when younger and that assertiveness carried on in life and eventually morphed into them not being afraid to speak up when something is wrong.

I think another problem is that these people grew up in the depression or post WWII. It was big-time etiquette to address people as they should. "Miss, Ma'am, Sir, etc." You were always very respectful of your elders because they were older than you and deserved that respect.

Now, looks at our generation. Could we be more disrespectful as a whole? "We" (general we) don't call people Miss, Ma'am, Sir, Ladies and Gentleman. When you greet someone, you say "Hey Guys!"

And opening doors and in general chivalry was huge back then. I hardly ever see the general chivalry that they expected. Opening car doors, building doors, assisting someone when they sit, tipping your hat at someone, simply smiling and saying "good day!" to someone random in the street.

I don't blame them for being cranky. We are in general a rude generation and while I don't think it's okay to treat someone like crap, I think they're responding to how they're being treated.

Sorry, I hope that made sense.
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Old 11-25-2012, 07:40 PM   #19
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PartyHair View Post
On the other hand, there are old people like my mom (82) and my uncle (89) who are not only NOT cranky, they are happy.

I had a great conversation with my uncle on Thanksgiving about how content he is, how good life is, how thankful he is for his good health and his family and friends. He has not had an easy life by any stretch but he's healthy and has a family who loves him and that's enough for him. (He also got better hearing aids, which has to help! Ha!)

And my mom always has a kind word for everyone and is just generally much beloved by all who know her. She still works part time and loves her job and the students with whom she works. She is in pretty good health and her family absolutely adores her.

Anyway. I think that good health - physical and mental - helps old folks not to be so cranky. I also think having family and friends around, and hobbies to enjoy helps too.
Love this and totally agree!

Up until the day she died, my grandma was the sweetest, most positive and uplifting person you'd ever meet. Never had an unkind word to say about anybody, and made every single person she encountered feel special. Truly saw the best in everyone!

Now, part of that was just how she was wired.

But I believe another big part is how actively she stayed engaged with her friends, her neighbors, her family, her church, and her students (piano teacher) She was always reading, always challenging herself, always learning something new.

Quote:
And opening doors and in general chivalry was huge back then. I hardly ever see
the general chivalry that they expected. Opening car doors, building doors,
assisting someone when they sit, tipping your hat at someone, simply smiling and
saying "good day!" to someone random in the street.
Hmmm I don't necessarily agree with this. In fact, I just went on a business trip with about 5 coworkers, 3 of whom were male and in age from mid- 20s to early 30s. All were very courteous and chivalrous with opening doors, letting the women walk first, etc.

In summary, I don't think it's fair to generalize all old people as crotchety, and all young people as slacker jerks.
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Old 11-25-2012, 07:48 PM   #20
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Saria View Post
I'm young and I'm pretty cranky. If I live that long I'm either going to be (incredibly) insufferable, or I'll go the opposite direction and mellow out. Which is pretty much the two groups the elderly fit into. I mean, they've had to put up with decades of stupid ****.
I think saria has it exactly right. There's only so much 'stupid' we can take.
I'm a happy contented person but I LOVE being cranky. Sometimes the old days WERE better. Young people today sometimes ARE dumb and spoiled and lazy. Sometimes of the people running the world really DO make horrible decisions. And sometimes people DO just suck. So after putting up with it for so many years we get the right to whine about it.

And I don't think cranky means the same thing as miserable or toxic or mean. To me cranky means grumbling and tsk tsking the goings on of the world.
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