In need of some advice

Hello fellow curlies (: Just need some advice.. anything would be great, THANKS <3

I am currently a freshman in college at a university thats about 3 hours away from home. I've been very homesick. I was always a "home-body" and miss living like that. For the first semester I was going pretty often.. almost seeing family every weekend. Now the new semester is starting up soon and i need to decide what im doing next asap. I've been really thinking about going back home and taking community classes for the winter semester. Thoughts? Anyone else go anything simular? Also, I was being bullied by my last roommate, which really effected my experience here.

Here's my pros for staying at the university... Theres definitely a "college experience" when living here. I would miss out on meeting new people and being around my friends all the time. It would also be academicly better for me to stay here. I would also feel very acomplished if i stayed. Knowing i could overcome this
cons of staying.. being so far away from home, of course. and the food. Its a lot more expensive living on campus. i also may become sad a lot knowing all the things im missing out on at home
pros of going home.. i would be home. i could see my friends whenever i wanted, but i might be happier as a person. i could also work
cons of going home.. telling people is definitely something im very scared about. i have friends that might not understand why id go home and i would feel upset with myself that everyone else is fine yet i cant do it. also i wouldnt get the classes id get at the university.


Sorry this is so long!! ive been just having a hard time deciding. i think deep down i know staying is the best option for me.. but i just dont want to.. i keep waiting for someone to tell me to stay home ); really just looking for some guideness!!
My first semester at college I spent many weekends at home. We had just moved stateside from England (dad was military), I was attending a.school where I knew no one in a state I'd never lived in so my circumstances were different (when I went home there were no friends to hang out with, it was in a new town where I didn't know anyone).

But, second semester I didn't go home as often and I ended up loving it. My grades also went up. The part I most regret about the way I spent my time in college was that I didn't try more "new" things, I was a bit too introverted to be overly social and wish I would have learned to spread my wings a bit more (and I probably would not have learned to spread them at all if I had not stayed on campus).

Weigh all of your options, they are called hard decisions for a.reason

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My 1st semester of school I went home every other weekend. But the 2nd semester it started slowly becoming less. The way I saw it the more you stay there and activities you attend the more you meet people and make lasting relationships. If you were having problems with your roommate I would talk to the housing people about getting a different room. At my school they had a day specifically for that called the big move day lol. And people could switch rooms if wanted or needed. My advice would be to stay 2nd semester atleast and branch out some. We had a commons area in our dorm for every1 to hang out and socialize. I didnt know anybody when I went to school, almost all of my friends went to our rival lol. But I decided to do the sorority rush, it is a great way to meet new people, freshman and upper classes, and alot of fun! 1 of my best Friends to this day is a girl I met during rush. And if you do stay you can always say u gave it the try

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I was miserable my first semester at college - sooooo homesick that it still, 29 years later, makes my stomach clench thinking about it. My folks took the tough love approach second semester and told me to try to stay at school 'til spring break. And as always, my parents were right. Hard as it was the first few weeks I finally got in a groove at school and was fine staying until spring break.

It helped knowing that Mom and Dad would come get me for a weekend if I wanted them to. And they came down to visit once before break. And I talked to them on the phone every week.

I'd try to stick it out one more semester if I were you. The college experience was really important in my maturation process and I think everyone who is able to do so should have that, if possible.

Try staying for a weekend. Make plans, both fun stuff and homework, so you don't have time to be homesick. Find a couple friends who are staying and make plans to go to the cafeteria with them and stuff.

Good luck. I know it's tough!
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I remember being homesick when I went away to college but I was forced to stay put because it was a 600 mile drive over 4 mountain passes to get home. I think the best way to get past it is to stick it out and resign yourself to not going home. Tell yourself you'll stay on campus until spring break and stick to it. If you have friends back home, maybe they'll go visit you.
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I think the first semester away from home is hard. I know I was homesick and went home on the weekends several times. Having a difficult roommate makes it worse.

My advice is to change roommates if you can, and give it one more semester. Then you'll know you really gave the school a chance. If you still aren't happy, then go ahead and go back home. It's not something to be ashamed of. No campus is a good fit for every student.
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I guess what you have to figure out is if you chose the wrong school or you just aren't ready to leave home.

They are two separate issues that call for different solutions.

Honestly, some of your pros and cons seem silly, like you haven't really wrapped your mind around what you are doing and why you are there...which wouldn't be unheard of for a college freshman...

The food and being embarrassed to tell people your decision??? And "I would be home" is not a pro of going home! LOL

What things are you missing at home? Like parties and high school activities? Or like the birth of neice/nephew or the being around for someone who is seriously ill? Why did you choose to go away to school in the first place instead of starting at the community college? Have you decided on a major? Are you enjoying the coursework and making good grades? Have you met any friends? Why can't you get a parttime job while away at this school? And who is paying for this?

Not trying to be mean...you asked for guidelines and I'm just asking some questions for you to gain some perspective.
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Last edited by spiderlashes5000; 11-26-2012 at 08:30 AM.
I guess what you have to figure out is if you chose the wrong school or you just aren't ready to leave home.

They are two separate issues that call for different solutions.

Honestly, some of your pros and cons seem silly, like you haven't really wrapped your mind around what you are doing and why you are there...which wouldn't be unheard of for a college freshman...

The food and being embarrassed to tell people your decision??? And "I would be home" is not a pro of going home! LOL

What things are you missing at home? Like parties and high school activities? Or like the birth of neice/nephew or the being around for someone who is seriously ill? Why did you choose to go away to school in the first place instead of starting at the community college? Have you decided on a major? Are you enjoying the coursework and making good grades? Have you met any friends? Why can't you get a parttime job while away at this school? And who is paying for this?

Not trying to be mean...you asked for guidelines and I'm just asking some questions for you to gain some perspective.
Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000
+1 to all this.
I would also add that I moved out at 18, and sometimes had a hard time with my choice. But I have never gone back and I am very glad for that. It's an adjustment and I think you need to give it a solid year before making a decision. Food is expensive, living is expensive. But it's an adjustment and you'll get into the swing of things. It's a bit of a shock to realize "crap, I have to buy my own shampoo, TP, cleaning supplies, etc." and now that I'm a student I feel that even more. Maybe have your parents send you a care package in the mail, or pack you one on Xmas break that you can take with you. Ask for gift cards etc to help with the costs.
I think you haven't given it enough of a chance. This experience won't break you and I truly believe I am a stronger more independent person for sticking it out!
"Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.Ē
I agree with the others and you should definitely NOT go home. Not only because you'll be missing out on a college experience and that you probably haven't had enough time to get acclimated but also..unless you plan on living with your parents forever(which is not realistic), you're going to have to move out at some point. Three hours is not that far if you are feeling really bad and need a visit home.
I understand that it can be hard to adjust to change and being away from your family for the first time, it is quite normal to feel like that but keep your eye on the prize, your education and your University degree will all be worth it in the end you just have to stay strong and know your family will be there when you go back.

I moved away from home for my last two years of University, I had never been away from home or lived alone and it was a bit daunting at first. I had just gotten engaged and I wasn't going to get married until I finished my Psychology degree and my minor in biology so I had to plan a wedding for hundreds of people long distance and still get good grades. It was hard and there were times when it would have been nice to have my family there but I knew they were supporting me from afar. I also had some issues with a room mate...I couldn't stand her but I called her out on her crap and made sure she didn't mess with me, I'm not one to sit quietly and put up with stuff. You have to stand up for yourself and if problems persist maybe it would help to find alternative living arrangements.

What helped me was going home every chance I got and when I couldn't go home I asked my family to visit me when ever they could. I also made sure I called home everyday especially my sister, chatting with her helped me feel less secluded. After a while I made a lot of friends and I use to go out when I wasn't busy with school. It helps to just take some time off from all the studying and go out to dinner or a movie with some friends. I also took up some hobbies that I enjoyed, check to see if there are any clubs you are interested in at your school, it is a good way to keep busy and meet people. I also started going to the gym every day which made me feel great.

After a while you will adjust and meet new people just stick with it, not many things worth having in life come very easy.

Last edited by Ericachristina; 11-26-2012 at 04:50 PM.

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