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-   -   Why is this such a big deal (http://www.naturallycurly.com/curltalk/non-hair-discussion/152330-why-such-big-deal.html)

Strictlylilbit 11-26-2012 12:40 PM

Why is this such a big deal
 
I feel like I'm surrounded by people arguing about light skin vs dark skin when at the end of the day it's all black. I'm tired of people asking "what are you?" or "is you mother white?". I never had this problem before but since moving to Mississippi. It's been an everyday thing. I'm Black first and creole second but regardless of what other people think I see creole as more of my culture than anything. I'm not okay with being called that mixed girl but that's something most girl at my school would love. Most females at my school wish they were lighter or avoid the beach just because they fear getting darker. The guys walk around talking about how much better "light skin" girls are. People insist that Prettiest girl in our school would be better if she was light skin. If you pretty your pretty regardless of your skin color. People try to explain to be that I'm "red" therefore i can't be black. People will spend 10 minutes debating why my hair's curly and not "nappy". I'm tired of this. I wish people were just as about their education as they are race. I wish race exist but it does. People should stop wasting time trying to divid us.

The New Black 11-26-2012 12:53 PM

Colorism, internalized racism...nothing new. It's here on nc.com too.

Strictlylilbit 11-26-2012 12:59 PM

I know it's nothing new but it still annoys me.

coilynapp 11-27-2012 12:05 AM

I'm sorry you have to go through this on a daily basis. But unfortunately, the white idea of race and superiority has done a wealth of damage to colored folks all over the world. And it is worse among uneducated or less educated people.

Light skin is coveted, dark skin is despised. It makes me sad to see this among black people. I too wish that people would stay hard on their education as they do what shade of brown they are. It is such a cancer within black communities.

I don't know when it will end. I don't know if it will end. :(

Hugs to you.

LadyV69 11-27-2012 07:40 AM

Sorry you're going through this. Colorism dates back to slavery, when slaveowners pitted light skinned blacks against darker skinned ones and tended to give fairer ones jobs in the house and the darker ones jobs in the field. Also, those with fairer skin were given more positive attributes-they were smarter, prettier, etc. This crap has no place in the 21st century but unfortunately, some of us still cling to it. Personally, I don't see it disappearing completely until systemic racism ends in general and we know when that'll be:roll:

Josephine 11-27-2012 07:52 AM

Just wanted to add I believe colorism is like racism..it's unfortunately natural to most humans. Personally I don't think it'll completely end. It's human nature and I don't believe all humans evolve or will evolve past it. Certain societies/communities can systematically be less tolerant of it though.

Colorism also exists where my parents are from, Bangladesh. The lighter skinned/fairer women/girls are automatically more attractive even if they are ugly as ****. My family (parents generation) are very much into skin color.

Lotsawaves 11-27-2012 09:12 AM

Are men also judged by how light or dark they are or is this mainly happening to the women?

Josephine 11-27-2012 09:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lotsawaves (Post 2076853)
Are men also judged by how light or dark they are or is this mainly happening to the women?

Mainly women of course.

Lotsawaves 11-27-2012 10:09 AM

I should have known.

Honeycurls 11-27-2012 11:36 AM

I've (and others) been criticized for sharing my experiences as a light-skinned black female--even here on nc.com. I believe the term I saw once used here to label it was "tragic mulatto." I'm just learning now that my son was bullied and criticized all through school by darker-skinned blacks as well, which broke my heart because I raised him in this area hoping to avoid that very thing.

My personal experience has been that many darker-skinned black women think that we light-skinned black women/girls actually believe that we are superior to them, when the exact opposite is actually the case much of the time. We are often so ostracized by both sides that we feel inferior to everyone--at least that was my own experience. I grew up in a different time, though, and in a small town.

That's not to say that some light-skinned black women/girls don't exhibit signs of superiority complexes, but, as always, one shouldn't assume or generalize. It might just be a retaliatory or compensatory behavior, as many aberrant behaviors are.

Honeycurls 11-29-2012 08:33 AM

In talking to one of my professors yesterday who is just a couple of years older than me and whose ethnic makeup is black and Korean, we discovered that our childhood experiences as light-skinned blacks mirrored each other, even though as a military kid, she lived all over the country, nowhere near where I grew up. She is a likable, intelligent, well-traveled, accomplished woman with a PhD, who doesn't carry an obvious chip on her shoulder.

One incident I thought was particularly inappropriate. While still a child, her father remarried, this time to a "real" black woman, and during one of her initial encounters with my prof, the woman laughed and said, "We used to beat up girls like you." I'd like to tell you this kind of attitude is an isolated incident, but it's not. I've heard the same stories too many times over the years. She was never able to become close to her stepmother because of the divisive tone her stepmother established early in the relationship with that comment. She says she also remembers very vividly the first time someone notified her that she "wasn't a 'real' black person"...when she was 5 years old. Even as a na´ve 5 year old, having someone say that to her resonated so profoundly that it left a permanent, palpable scar on her psyche.

What I've also observed/experienced is that it's not just about skin color and features, but it's about how "black" you "act."

Yeah, life is soooo much easier for us light-skinned black females. I agree that colorism and racism aren't going away. Ever.


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