Kids with Natural Hair - Teasing

Like Tree45Likes

I went through this as a kid. I spent ages 8-11 with my hair tucked up into a cap (and then sometimes got teased for looking like a boy).
I offer no advice, only empathy. I hope with you encouragement she gains confidence about her hair and also her ethnicity.
"Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.
My son went through this when he was about 11/12. I had to pick him up from school one day with a "headache", he came home and just cried and cried, didn't have a headache at all, he'd been teased about his hair, it was heartbreaking to see. I told his teachers the next day and it was dealt with immediately, I don't know what was said but the teasing stopped. His hair wasn't even long at the time (I couldn't deal with it!) but it is red so he had the double whammy of colour and texture that are both the subject of teasing.
He has since grown his hair out - it's big and very curly and he likes it that way and tells people so.
I would mention it to her teacher, as lotsa said - she can keep an eye on the situation and deal with it if it continues.
I feel for you, it's a horrible feeling.
3b in South Australia.
Is it just one little boy? I dont know if anyone has mentioned this, but if so is it possible he likes your daughter. I know little boys can say some pretty stupid things when they like a little girl. if thats not the case I agree with everything spider said. And the t-shirt idea is awesome! I have been meaning to get my sister and myself one. good luck with your beautiful curly daughter!
I didn't mean to imply, we (me and my kids) have it all figured out. My daughter still prefers White dolls despite my most valient efforts to sway her elsewhere.

But in terms of her own hair, she's OK. The issue for her is that she gets mad that I don't let her wear it loose to school. She's not so much worried about the texture but more that she can't wear the loose styles like her classmates (who are more than half White). And she wishes her hair was longer, too, like theirs. But she actually likes the curls...now. After deliberately forcing images of the biggest, kinkiest, most in your face afros and natural styles on her and exclaiming how wonderful they are and how beautiful the women who wear them are, too. I sometimes clip them out of magazines to show her.

When I was a kid, my family subscribed to National Geographic mag, so I got to see very photogenic ppl of various ethnicities all the time. And I liked in Bklyn, so that helped. My parents would often point out people we saw out and say how great her hair looked or how regal his face was or whatever. But seconded it all to intelligence.

It's a shame we have to do this but such is life for many of us.

She really is adorable, munchy!
Josephine and Amneris like this.
3b (with 3c tendencies) on modified CG

It's two little boys. One seems to keep teasing her, but she did say there was no other discussion about her hair yesterday.

It doesn't help that her brother and sister tease her at dad's house, but the odd thing is that her dad always complains that her hair isn't picked out enough and she comes back to mine with soft "cotton candy" hair.

These are the shirts I'm looking at



For reference, this is what she looks like with her hair out, though it has grown so much longer and is quite a bit bigger this that now.

sariroo, gemini and curlyarca like this.

I really feel for your daughter. While I went to an all white school, I was the only one with curly hair (actually huge frizzy hair as my mom didn't know how to care for it) until I entered high school and I got a lot of grief for it. I think those kids need some serious teaching. I would try to talk to the parents and if that is not an option, the teacher would be the next stop.

I didn't witness this, my husband did, but my daughter (probably 3 at that point) was talking to a girl who had natural hair. Both girls were waiting for their fathers to get their haircut. My daughter said to the little girl, "Your hair is weird!". My husband was mortified and just laughed it off with the dad which was was really pissed about as my husband should have adressed it at the time. When my husband told me this, I made sure to sit down with her and explain that the two girls have different hair, not better or worse or weird, just different and that is okay. And then we discussed how everyone in our house has different hair than each other and that is okay too and that is how it is with everyone in the world and that we should compliment people instead of pointing out differences. This has led my child to now tell everyone, "I like your hair!" when she talks to them.

I was really shocked that my daughter said that to the girl because we live in a very diverse community and for at least a year, my daughter was the only white child in her daycare class and one of her very good friends has much different hair than her although she wears it in braids.

I hope your daughter can learn to love her hair and not be scarred at such a young age.
My 15 year old white daughter has hair issues too. She has 2C/3A hair, like me, and it gets a bit big/puffy sometimes. I think it's glorious. Apparently, the white girls in school think only the flattest-of-flat straight hair is acceptable and that anything else is "frizzy". I told her to tell them to shut-up-and-stop-being-jealous. She feels too intimidated to do that though. Instead, she washes and irons it every night and frets about whether she's frizzy or not.
Originally Posted by RedCatWaves
That sucks. I was complaining one day because my hair was frizzy and my friend(who did not mean any harm) said so casually and seriously that my hair is always frizzy. I guess curls mean frizz. I was in seventh grade. There were no flat irons back in the day. One girl in class had hair like mine and she would straighten it once in a while with a clothes iron.

My little cousins also have curly hair and they always straighten. I thought they'd grow out of it (they are 21/22 now) but doesn't look like it.
Munchy, i love all of the shirts. I think you are doing the best thing by making sure your daughter knows her hair is beautiful. My niece has beautiful curly hair and a couple kids said her hair was big. not even in a teasing way (they were her friends and they apologized and her hair was big because her mom brushed it out when it was dry), but it made my niece cry, so her mom straighten it for her. she is now a 10 year old with a frizzy mess of hair who hates it curly. it doesnt help that her mom has curly hair and does anything to keep it straight and says how ugly curly hair is in front of her daughter.

Spider, I agree with you. I have friends who daughters are natural and it seems they have to make an effort to show them beauty isnt one color or texture. I grew up surrounded by diverse ethnicities, but still had to deal with the remarks about my hair. it can be horrible for a little child to constantly hear negative remarks about their hair. or to only see "beauty" in one image and that image looks nothing like them.
I love the t-shirt in the middle.

It's sad how kids pick on each other.

I wore my hair in a bun for most of youth. My mother was of little help because she had thin straight har. When I was 11, she dragged me to a salon and had them force a mullet on me (it was the 90s, the style was completely out of date). Inevitably a school colleague laughed at me and even though the other kids were niceand told me not to pay her any attention, it really got to me.
I love the t-shirt in the middle.
Originally Posted by Dedachan
I can't find it for kids anywhere, and I wanted us to get them matching. There is this one that she may like too:

I like the Hello Kitty one so much more. There's something just...IDK, not-so-reaffirming about looking like a Sesame Street muppet. LOL
curlyarca and Amneris like this.
3b (with 3c tendencies) on modified CG

It's two little boys. One seems to keep teasing her, but she did say there was no other discussion about her hair yesterday.

It doesn't help that her brother and sister tease her at dad's house, but the odd thing is that her dad always complains that her hair isn't picked out enough and she comes back to mine with soft "cotton candy" hair.

These are the shirts I'm looking at



For reference, this is what she looks like with her hair out, though it has grown so much longer and is quite a bit bigger this that now.

Originally Posted by Munchy
Your daughter and her hair are beautiful!
Munchy and curlyarca like this.
3B corkscrews with scatterings of 3A & 3C.
Thank you for starting this thread. I dread having to explain this hair stuff more than having the sex talk with my kids.
Amneris likes this.
hello.world.
It seems like my minimal days of exposure are paying off already. She actually THANKED me for letting her wear her hair out this morning. I even let her use a beautiful leopard scarf that I use as a headband.

This is even after this same child told her yesterday that he "can't see over her big afro" so she told the teacher and the child was taken outside to be reprimanded.

We watched the Sesame Street video this morning and she wanted to watch it again and again. I also have a friend who she loves that did the big chop this past week, so I told her we can look at her pics later (she lives out of town).

I'm so excited to be able to show her the many faces of beauty. Nothing makes me happier than being able to see an actual change in her demeanor toward herself. She seems proud now. I hope my blowout on Friday doesn't weird her out...

It seems like my minimal days of exposure are paying off already. She actually THANKED me for letting her wear her hair out this morning. I even let her use a beautiful leopard scarf that I use as a headband.

This is even after this same child told her yesterday that he "can't see over her big afro" so she told the teacher and the child was taken outside to be reprimanded.

We watched the Sesame Street video this morning and she wanted to watch it again and again. I also have a friend who she loves that did the big chop this past week, so I told her we can look at her pics later (she lives out of town).

I'm so excited to be able to show her the many faces of beauty. Nothing makes me happier than being able to see an actual change in her demeanor toward herself. She seems proud now. I hope my blowout on Friday doesn't weird her out...
Originally Posted by Munchy
I got my hair pressed a couple of weeks ago, and JJ asked why my hair was "down" and "long" and said he liked it better before. My lion

I'm glad she is feeling better. She's such a cutie! From her picture, she doesn't even HAVE what I would call a "big afro." I'd show her a picture of a REAL big afro... and tell her how beautiful it is. Stupid kids.
Munchy, curlyarca and thelio like this.
Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali











Trending Topics


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -6. The time now is 02:36 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright 2011 NaturallyCurly.com