Would you date...? Would you marry...? - Page 2

Amneris · 12-19-2012, 02:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lotsawaves

OBB, I took it as you could do porn, but you would have to be here legally.

A lot of porn stars are illegal, since it is an exploitative industry.

Lotsawaves · 12-19-2012, 02:36 PM

I didn't know that.....interesting.

jeepcurlygurl · 12-19-2012, 02:40 PM

OBB, sorry but you can't be both. I have my scruples. : )

WurlyLox · 12-19-2012, 02:47 PM

Never say never, but I don't think so - it's just asking for trouble. If madly, deeply in love, who knows, though?

Lotsawaves · 12-19-2012, 02:47 PM

Jeep, you crack me up!

spiderlashes5000 · 12-19-2012, 02:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Josephine

Quote:

Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000

Quote:

Originally Posted by Josephine

Well of course, that doesn't make sense. No one wants to stay here illegaly? You're at risk. Why would anyone not want to??

Not that they don't want to get a green card...but they will never be permitted to get one.

I am not that familiar with the laws but in the U.S. why would one not be able to after marriage unless they are a criminal and not allowed to stay? In that case, no it would be very hard. You are always worrying about deportation on some level and hiding. I guess you'd have to be mad crazy in love and be willing to move out of country if the love was that strong. I never say never..(looking at my situation now lol).

I guess it's at the discretion of the INS, but if you once had a legal visa, you have a much better chance of being given amnesty. But if you just came over w/o ever any documentation, you have less of a chance. And if you came here illegally before, were caught and deported and then came back illegally again, you have basically no chance.

OBB · 12-19-2012, 02:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jeepcurlygurl

OBB, sorry but you can't be both. I have my scruples. : )

ShrekLover · 12-19-2012, 03:06 PM

I did, we were madly in love. He had already been married to an American and had not applied for a green card, because he wasn't really interested. That should have warned me because we divorced after 15 years because he felt he needed to be home and I didn't want to go. By then though even though we still loved each other we realized we weren't getting along that well, there was nothing in common and love is not enough. I knew going over there would result in divorce anyway, so why go someplace I didn't want to go with a man I spent more time fighting with anymore than loving.

He did get a green card and citizenship during our marriage.

SunshineGrrl · 12-19-2012, 03:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000

Quote:

Originally Posted by Josephine

Quote:

Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000

Not that they don't want to get a green card...but they will never be permitted to get one.

I am not that familiar with the laws but in the U.S. why would one not be able to after marriage unless they are a criminal and not allowed to stay? In that case, no it would be very hard. You are always worrying about deportation on some level and hiding. I guess you'd have to be mad crazy in love and be willing to move out of country if the love was that strong. I never say never..(looking at my situation now lol).

I guess it's at the discretion of the INS, but if you once had a legal visa, you have a much better chance of being given amnesty. But if you just came over w/o ever any documentation, you have less of a chance. And if you came here illegally before, were caught and deported and then came back illegally again, you have basically no chance.

It might be different now, but my sister-in-law's entire family was here illegally. She's from Mexico and her dad came first. Once there was enough money, they were transported over the border in trunks of cars. Three of them got caught an sent back, then they were transported over again and made it. The story is awful to hear. I believe at least 1 if not 2 of her siblings almost suffocated in the trunk.

My brother married my sister-in-law when she was illegal and to get her legal they had some pretty hefty fines or legal fees. Something to the tune of $3500. She worked off fake SSN's until she got married, which was at 25. Her entire family is legal now and all her siblings are citizens. Her mother died in a car accident after they had been married for like 5 years and her father doesn't speak enough English to apply for the citizenship test.

I don't know if their story is rare or not, but I guess they demonstrate that if you do get caught and sent back and come over illegally again, it's still possible to get either a green card or citizenship.

For me? That would be an extremely hard decision. Obviously we've experienced it as a family, so I doubt it would be much of an issue there. I really cannot afford to pay those kinds of fines and if he is unable to work until he gets his green card, then it's a hosed situation.

If I decided it was something I could handle, then to me it wouldn't matter whether or not they came in completely illegally or was legal once and the Visa expired. As long as they're a hard worker and willing to work. I'm not going to support somebody for the rest of my life. The previous 2 sentences would really apply to anybody I married, though, doesn't have anything to do with the fact they might be here illegally.

CurlyCanadian · 12-19-2012, 03:47 PM

Living in Canada, I would work through it for the right person. Living in the US though, the system is too messed up to go through that.

Josephine · 12-19-2012, 03:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SunshineGrrl

Quote:

Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000

Quote:

Originally Posted by Josephine

I am not that familiar with the laws but in the U.S. why would one not be able to after marriage unless they are a criminal and not allowed to stay? In that case, no it would be very hard. You are always worrying about deportation on some level and hiding. I guess you'd have to be mad crazy in love and be willing to move out of country if the love was that strong. I never say never..(looking at my situation now lol).

I guess it's at the discretion of the INS, but if you once had a legal visa, you have a much better chance of being given amnesty. But if you just came over w/o ever any documentation, you have less of a chance. And if you came here illegally before, were caught and deported and then came back illegally again, you have basically no chance.

It might be different now, but my sister-in-law's entire family was here illegally. She's from Mexico and her dad came first. Once there was enough money, they were transported over the border in trunks of cars. Three of them got caught an sent back, then they were transported over again and made it. The story is awful to hear. I believe at least 1 if not 2 of her siblings almost suffocated in the trunk.

My brother married my sister-in-law when she was illegal and to get her legal they had some pretty hefty fines or legal fees. Something to the tune of $3500. She worked off fake SSN's until she got married, which was at 25. Her entire family is legal now and all her siblings are citizens. Her mother died in a car accident after they had been married for like 5 years and her father doesn't speak enough English to apply for the citizenship test.

I don't know if their story is rare or not, but I guess they demonstrate that if you do get caught and sent back and come over illegally again, it's still possible to get either a green card or citizenship.

For me? That would be an extremely hard decision. Obviously we've experienced it as a family, so I doubt it would be much of an issue there. I really cannot afford to pay those kinds of fines and if he is unable to work until he gets his green card, then it's a hosed situation.

If I decided it was something I could handle, then to me it wouldn't matter whether or not they came in completely illegally or was legal once and the Visa expired. As long as they're a hard worker and willing to work. I'm not going to support somebody for the rest of my life. The previous 2 sentences would really apply to anybody I married, though, doesn't have anything to do with the fact they might be here illegally.

I know of one case where a girl was deported but came back. It didn't take as long expected, less than a couple years or even within one year. 3500 is not bad actually.

SunshineGrrl · 12-19-2012, 03:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CurlyCanadian

Living in Canada, I would work through it for the right person. Living in the US though, the system is too messed up to go through that.

Is the process a lot easier in Canada? Maybe I should be looking for a Canadian husband. All the US ones have gone down the chute...why not? I could handle living up there. Except maybe the Northern Territories.

SunshineGrrl · 12-19-2012, 03:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Josephine

Quote:

Originally Posted by SunshineGrrl

Quote:

Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000

I guess it's at the discretion of the INS, but if you once had a legal visa, you have a much better chance of being given amnesty. But if you just came over w/o ever any documentation, you have less of a chance. And if you came here illegally before, were caught and deported and then came back illegally again, you have basically no chance.

It might be different now, but my sister-in-law's entire family was here illegally. She's from Mexico and her dad came first. Once there was enough money, they were transported over the border in trunks of cars. Three of them got caught an sent back, then they were transported over again and made it. The story is awful to hear. I believe at least 1 if not 2 of her siblings almost suffocated in the trunk.

My brother married my sister-in-law when she was illegal and to get her legal they had some pretty hefty fines or legal fees. Something to the tune of $3500. She worked off fake SSN's until she got married, which was at 25. Her entire family is legal now and all her siblings are citizens. Her mother died in a car accident after they had been married for like 5 years and her father doesn't speak enough English to apply for the citizenship test.

I don't know if their story is rare or not, but I guess they demonstrate that if you do get caught and sent back and come over illegally again, it's still possible to get either a green card or citizenship.

For me? That would be an extremely hard decision. Obviously we've experienced it as a family, so I doubt it would be much of an issue there. I really cannot afford to pay those kinds of fines and if he is unable to work until he gets his green card, then it's a hosed situation.

If I decided it was something I could handle, then to me it wouldn't matter whether or not they came in completely illegally or was legal once and the Visa expired. As long as they're a hard worker and willing to work. I'm not going to support somebody for the rest of my life. The previous 2 sentences would really apply to anybody I married, though, doesn't have anything to do with the fact they might be here illegally.

I know of one case where a girl was deported but came back. It didn't take as long expected, less than a couple years or even within one year. 3500 is not bad actually.

Nowadays it's not so bad because we've become more successful as we've aged. We're so lucky to have that be the situation, but back in 1998 it was a huge amount for any of us (meaning my family).

Speckla · 12-19-2012, 03:59 PM

no

CurlyCanadian · 12-19-2012, 04:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SunshineGrrl

Quote:

Originally Posted by CurlyCanadian

Living in Canada, I would work through it for the right person. Living in the US though, the system is too messed up to go through that.

Is the process a lot easier in Canada? Maybe I should be looking for a Canadian husband. All the US ones have gone down the chute...why not? I could handle living up there. Except maybe the Northern Territories.

I don't know that it's easier, but definitely faster. I know a few couples (one married an American, the other a Jamaican) and things seemed to come together rather easily.

We have very good friends in the States that have just been going through a nightmare of a time trying to get the husband legalized (not sure if that's the right term!)

This is all just from an outsider looking in though, so actually doing it may be another issue!

SunshineGrrl · 12-19-2012, 05:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CurlyCanadian

Quote:

Originally Posted by SunshineGrrl

Quote:

Originally Posted by CurlyCanadian

Living in Canada, I would work through it for the right person. Living in the US though, the system is too messed up to go through that.

Is the process a lot easier in Canada? Maybe I should be looking for a Canadian husband. All the US ones have gone down the chute...why not? I could handle living up there. Except maybe the Northern Territories.

I don't know that it's easier, but definitely faster. I know a few couples (one married an American, the other a Jamaican) and things seemed to come together rather easily.

We have very good friends in the States that have just been going through a nightmare of a time trying to get the husband legalized (not sure if that's the right term!)

This is all just from an outsider looking in though, so actually doing it may be another issue!

No, I believe it. Especially now. When my sister-in-law applied it was before 9-11 and all the upheaval we have with the patriot act, shootings, etc.

Layali · 12-19-2012, 05:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amneris

To your original question, absolutely yes I would if I loved the person and who they were and was certain they weren't using me for citizenship. People are illegal for many reasons. Some, like springcurl's son in law, are brought by their parents and have little control. Others are fleeing for their lives or fleeing extreme poverty. If someone could come from those circumstances and become a person I'd be interested in with the appropriate attributes/credentials etc. they would be a remarkable and interesting person. Some of my ancestors were illegal immigrants - I don't like how immigration is restricted and illegals are stigmatized today when we look at the facts of how the new world was built.

If they would never get citizenship, I am not sure I would marry them, because this would leave our family life at constant threat of disruption if they could be deported or denied certain rights. I would not want to have children in such circumstances and I would not get married without knowing children were an option.

I totally agree with all of this!

Curlyminx · 12-19-2012, 05:53 PM

My last boyfriend was from Mexico. He asked me to marry him and I even went to an attorney to see about making him legal. It would have cost me over $5000 to get him here legally. I wanted him to come illegally and that we work out his legality after he got here.

We didn't marry. I realized that I was making a terrible mistake.

I had illegal family members here. They all paid taxes and worked hard. They have all been legalized over the years.

I'm still trying to figure out how anyone can say absolutely no so easily. And the reasons I'm coming up with don't sit well with me. Then again, I am very sensitive to the subject.

legends · 12-19-2012, 06:48 PM

The laws have changed over the past several years so marriage isn't always a guarantee of a green card. In some situations, you and your spouse would actually have to go to his country for a while before he could apply for a green card. I have a friend who had planned to marry her boyfriend, and the lawyer said not to because in his situation marriage would hurt him and he had a good chance of getting deported.

I'd be more inclined to do it to help someone out (not that I really would, because I'd be terrified of getting caught) rather than out of love, because I have trust issues, and I know way too many people who've been burned that way.

Saria · 12-19-2012, 07:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Curlyminx

My last boyfriend was from Mexico. He asked me to marry him and I even went to an attorney to see about making him legal. It would have cost me over $5000 to get him here legally. I wanted him to come illegally and that we work out his legality after he got here.

We didn't marry. I realized that I was making a terrible mistake.

I had illegal family members here. They all paid taxes and worked hard. They have all been legalized over the years.

I'm still trying to figure out how anyone can say absolutely no so easily. And the reasons I'm coming up with don't sit well with me. Then again, I am very sensitive to the subject.

I thought I was the only one who kind of winced once or twice reading this thread.