Would you date...? Would you marry...?

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A person who was living in the US illegally, if you were a legal US citizen?

Not a slam on any particular country or on undocumented immigrants in general.

Limiting it to the US bc I know have an understanding of the laws (e.g., if you get married, they may be able to apply for citizenship, depending on the circumstances of the expired visa...if there ever was one, etc. And if the marriage is deemed fraudulent, the person can be deported. And if children are born, they are citizens, et., etc.
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Unless it was life or death, no.
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If I was in love, yes.

Just to help with citizenship? No.

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Oops, I should have clarified: you have genuine romantic feelings for this person. Not trying to "help" the person.
3b (with 3c tendencies) on modified CG

Nope.
No MAS.

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If he was here illegally....no. No matter my feelings about him romantically, I don't think I would trust him. That's just me.
In my early 20s I fell for a person who had immigration issues. He was a Russian who had left the USSR, and was denied residency here. He had lived here for quite a few years though, I guess, through appeals. But at some point the govt put it's foot down and said no more appeals, it's time for you to go back to your country of origin. I went there and lived with him and his family for 3 months. But in the end, the long distance relationship just didn't work out for us.

He was very upfront about his immigration problems. I think he honestly did care about/love me, but I do wonder if he was trying to snag a green card. There was a proposal, but I felt it was genuine at the time.

23 year old Sigi = gullible



^^ "Say you, say me, say it for always, that's the way it should be.."
3b (with 3c tendencies) on modified CG

My daughter did. He was brought here when he was 7 by his parents and they overstayed their visa and never left. She met him in middle school and started dating him in 9th grade and they got married just after she got out of college.

When they went to immigration last year so he could apply for a green card she said it was just like the movies and kind of scary. She had pictures of them from their sophomore formal, junior and senior prom and the woman looked at them and then said, "That's a nice story." But she said it like it was a story, not the truth.
He said he was a bartender and she asked him his date of birth and a bunch of stuff then out of nowhere said, "what's in a Manhattan?"

But they were approved and now he has a green card.

They married for love, obv.
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A person who was living in the US illegally, if you were a legal US citizen?

Not a slam on any particular country or on undocumented immigrants in general.

Limiting it to the US bc I know have an understanding of the laws (e.g., if you get married, they may be able to apply for citizenship, depending on the circumstances of the expired visa...if there ever was one, etc. And if the marriage is deemed fraudulent, the person can be deported. And if children are born, they are citizens, et., etc.
Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000
Yes I have, both. Really not an issue to me except that most likely it would be no because usually when you dont have your papers you have a sucky job and that's not going to cut it for me anymore. Obviously once you get married you can start filing right away and at least get the work visa(at least that's how it was back around 99).

Last edited by Josephine; 12-19-2012 at 01:32 PM.
Theoretically, no.

Could it happen in a situation somehow? Possibly. Because I deal with technology and import/export laws constantly I'm less likely to even want to date someone who isn't a US citizen because it means I wouldn't ever be able to have work out around that person and be a pain to deal with. But, for example, I knew a Canadian citizen who was a physicist working here, and was very attracted to him. I'm not sure why we didn't date, but I definitely didn't think of not wanting to date him because he was foreign in that time and situation. With all the various immigration laws something easily could have happened to make his presence here no longer legal, and if we'd already been dating I suspect I would have kept dating him.


In high school I knew a guy who found out our senior year he wasn't actually in the US legally. His parents hadn't explained expired visas or whatever their situation was to him before that, and he was turning 18. His then girlfriend was 18 and they were definitely in love, and she offered to marry him. I believe he was able to gain legal status and stick around, and don't know if they ended up married eventually or not.
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Last edited by NetG; 12-19-2012 at 01:33 PM.
Would it matter if the person's staus was such that even after you married him/her, the person would never get a green card or citizenship?
3b (with 3c tendencies) on modified CG

Would it matter if the person's staus was such that even after you married him/her, the person would never get a green card or citizenship?
Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000

Well of course, that doesn't make sense. No one wants to stay here illegaly? You're at risk. Why would anyone not want to??
Would it matter if the person's staus was such that even after you married him/her, the person would never get a green card or citizenship?
Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000

Well of course, that doesn't make sense. No one wants to stay here illegaly? You're at risk. Why would anyone not want to??
Originally Posted by Josephine
Not that they don't want to get a green card...but they will never be permitted to get one.
3b (with 3c tendencies) on modified CG

It would depend on the issues behind it. I know people who are here illegally AFTER they have been here legally (problems with work visas, etc, that were not of their doing). This I might be able to live with as long as they are trying to right that wrong.

But in general I guess I would have less of a problem with someone who did porn (as discussed in another thread) than with someone here illegally who has no intention of becoming a citizen or legal member of society here.
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so jeepy would you marry me if i was here illegally and doing porn?
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Would it matter if the person's staus was such that even after you married him/her, the person would never get a green card or citizenship?
Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000

To your original question, absolutely yes I would if I loved the person and who they were and was certain they weren't using me for citizenship. People are illegal for many reasons. Some, like springcurl's son in law, are brought by their parents and have little control. Others are fleeing for their lives or fleeing extreme poverty. If someone could come from those circumstances and become a person I'd be interested in with the appropriate attributes/credentials etc. they would be a remarkable and interesting person. Some of my ancestors were illegal immigrants - I don't like how immigration is restricted and illegals are stigmatized today when we look at the facts of how the new world was built.

If they would never get citizenship, I am not sure I would marry them, because this would leave our family life at constant threat of disruption if they could be deported or denied certain rights. I would not want to have children in such circumstances and I would not get married without knowing children were an option.
Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali











OBB, I took it as you could do porn, but you would have to be here legally.
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Would it matter if the person's staus was such that even after you married him/her, the person would never get a green card or citizenship?
Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000

Well of course, that doesn't make sense. No one wants to stay here illegaly? You're at risk. Why would anyone not want to??
Originally Posted by Josephine
Not that they don't want to get a green card...but they will never be permitted to get one.
Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000
I am not that familiar with the laws but in the U.S. why would one not be able to after marriage unless they are a criminal and not allowed to stay? In that case, no it would be very hard. You are always worrying about deportation on some level and hiding. I guess you'd have to be mad crazy in love and be willing to move out of country if the love was that strong. I never say never..(looking at my situation now lol).

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