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Old 12-21-2012, 03:12 PM   #1
 
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Default My Mom Regifted Me for Christmas!

I am so irritated right now. My mom is passive-aggressive, and things have been a bit rocky since I moved to another state (we don't actually fight, because she doesn't do confrontations... she just ignores me if she's upset.) Well, I got a Christmas package from her today, and my husband's gift was the $25 Fandango gift card I gave my dad for Father's Day this year! I know it's the same card because of the picture on it, and my mom NEVER sends Fandango cards... always Amazon or iTunes, which she knows my husband likes. The Fandango card I sent my dad was the first, because he is almost 80 and never wants a present for anything, and he and my mom go to the movies a lot (I figured that was a happy compromise.) I kept asking my parents if they had used the card yet because I wanted to make sure it worked in their theater, and my mom kept saying it was in the drawer and they always "forgot" it when they went to the movies. I know this is the same card.

Even though she has never said anything, I know my mom is resentful that I moved far away so my husband could go to grad school. And now that he has his degree, we are thinking about moving back closer to home, but still a four hour drive from my folks (we will be closer to his family.) I think this regifting of the card is passive-aggressive, and it really irks me. I never expect Christmas presents from anybody, and a part of me feels like I should just be thankful. But it makes me angry that she would do that to my sweet husband who is so very good to me... it is a slap in my face.

I guess I'm wondering if I should confront her about it? My instinct is telling me not to... DH was happy that we can now see the Hobbit for free, but this really got to me. He knows my mom is resentful of him but he says he doesn't care. Last year my folks didn't send us anything.

What do you guys think?
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Old 12-21-2012, 03:21 PM   #2
 
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I can't think of a way to tactfully address it with her. Maybe the best way to stick it to her, if that's what you want to do, is to act like it doesn't bother you at all.
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Old 12-21-2012, 03:33 PM   #3
 
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I agree with TNB, don't let her know it bothered you. That was her intention, don't give her the satisfaction.

I would just be honest that your husband is really happy that you can see The Hobbit. I'd maybe even kick it up a notch and and say your husband was thrilled, just to stick it to her.
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Old 12-21-2012, 03:35 PM   #4
 
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Quote:
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I agree with TNB, don't let her know it bothered you. That was her intention, don't give her the satisfaction.

I would just be honest that your husband is really happy that you can see The Hobbit. I'd maybe even kick it up a notch and and say your husband was thrilled, just to stick it to her.
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Old 12-21-2012, 04:06 PM   #5
 
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Thank you, ladies!! I feel like a big weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Of course this is what I should do. It just hurts sometimes, especially when I think things are getting better and I let my guard down. I feel empowered by your responses.

Thank you again so much!
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Old 12-21-2012, 04:10 PM   #6
 
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How long is the gift card good for? Save it and send it back to them for the next gifting occasion.
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Old 12-21-2012, 04:36 PM   #7
 
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I was on Team Rise Above It but I also kind of Luke Team Regift It Right Back. It's so not the right thing to do but the pot stirrer in me likes it.
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Old 12-21-2012, 10:18 PM   #8
 
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Quote:
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How long is the gift card good for? Save it and send it back to them for the next gifting occasion.
I was thinking to use it all and then regift it. lol
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Old 12-22-2012, 04:45 AM   #9
 
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I would tell her you tried to use the card and there was nothing on it. She should check with the store where she bought it and see whats up!
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Old 12-23-2012, 05:29 PM   #10
 
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You guys are too funny!!!

I would just ask. I'm really guileless and naive and I always assume other people are, too. Like, "not that it matters, but didn't I send that card to dad last Father's Day?"

Also, is it possible they are going senile?

Either way, plz don't stay ticked off for too long.
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Old 12-23-2012, 05:53 PM   #11
 
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First, your husband sounds like a great guy.

Second, if he can be ok with it, then you can be too. So, let it go. I completely understand how you're feeling though - I'd feel the same.
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Old 12-25-2012, 02:01 PM   #12
 
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I would go to the movies and enjoy it.

***when I first saw this thread I thought your mom had given you away
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Old 12-26-2012, 06:23 AM   #13
 
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Quote:
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I would go to the movies and enjoy it.

***when I first saw this thread I thought your mom had given you away
Twice!
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Old 12-27-2012, 05:42 PM   #14
 
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Update: I emailed a big thank you and then called the next day... she kind of danced around it and then didn't thank me for the gift I sent my parents (my dad did when I spoke to him next.) Thanks for the help and the laughs, ladies... it meant a lot!
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