"In a Relationship" with somebody you have never met in person...

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...am I a skeptic or is this common?

I am asking this not because I am being judgmental but because I'm really curious if this is something that happens often in the Internet world and becaues I'm concerned my friend is moving too fast. (Classic NC.com disclaimer!)

I recently reconnected with an old friend that I was never really close with to begin with, so there are obviously things I don't know about her. She does a lot of Match.com and OKCupid dating, which I honestly admire, because I'll talk to guys who seem great and chicken-out and never meet them. She meets a lot of guys who are traveling here on business, and at least two in the past couple of months had said they'd being willing to move here to be with her, and she had to convince one that he should stay in the same state as his children. (Thought that was weird. What kind of a man would need convincing about something like that?!)

One guy told her he had one child on their in-person date, and then she noticed on his profile it said 2. She was rationalizing it saying, "He was SO STARRY-EYED when he was talking to me...maybe he just said the wrong number?"

(I can't imagine a guy being opposite Angelina Jolie and forgetting how many children he has!)

She's been talking to a guy who is in the army and stationed out of the country. He's apparently flying-out to meet her on leave in a few weeks. They've been talking for a week-and-a-half.

She texted me last night with, "So I have a boyfriend."

He asked her to be his girlfriend, over text message, she accepted and asked if she could make it "Facebook official" (which she did) and went on to post a dozen status updates about how she's the luckiest girl in the world, finally found the right person, with his initials and hearts all over the place.

Am I being a skeptic or is she jumping-the-gun a bit????? I feel like she's setting herself up to be really disappointed.
Originally Posted by CanItBeChristine
I'm curious as to why you threw in the Angelina Jolie comment?
Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali













I think she's actually just very immature. She just posted celebrating that her mommy did her laundry for her...
Originally Posted by CanItBeChristine
I would totally celebrate my Mother doing my laundry!!!! I don't think she has done it since I was about 12, it would be a miracle!!!
I believe in manicures. I believe in overdressing. I believe in primping at leisure and wearing lipstick. I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.
Audrey Hepburn

Last edited by CurlyCanadian; 01-24-2013 at 07:18 PM.

I'm curious as to why you threw in the Angelina Jolie comment?
Originally Posted by Amneris
That no matter how struck you may be by someone, you don't forget how many children you have.
luvmylocs likes this.
I believe in manicures. I believe in overdressing. I believe in primping at leisure and wearing lipstick. I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.
Audrey Hepburn
I've seen many people being deceived online thinking they are dating someone who is not. I don't think online dating is good at all. It's so do easy to lie.

Just meet people in person normally for your own good people please.

I'm curious as to why you threw in the Angelina Jolie comment?
Originally Posted by Amneris
That no matter how struck you may be by someone, you don't forget how many children you have.
Originally Posted by CurlyCanadian
She was the first "hot" actress that came to mind. Nothing too deep. And, as CurlyCanadian said, no matter WHO you are sitting across from...a famous actress many men consider hot, the President, Oprah, Joe Namath, whoever...nobody ever forgets how many children they have, and this girl thought the guy said the wrong amount of children because he was so googly eyed around her.

Last edited by CanItBeChristine; 01-25-2013 at 12:04 AM.


I think she's actually just very immature. She just posted celebrating that her mommy did her laundry for her...
Originally Posted by CanItBeChristine
I would totally celebrate my Mother doing my laundry!!!! I don't think she has done it since I was about 12, it would be a miracle!!!
Originally Posted by CurlyCanadian
Laundry is the one "chore" my mom never minded. She hates to cook and clean. She hasn't made me a meal since I was in high school. But she did my laundry every time I was home from college, and even post college when I stayed at her house for a few days around the holidays. Heck, I literally don't think I've ever turned on the washing machine in my moms house (or our family house when I was a kid)! I mean, I've been doing my own laundry since I left for college at 18, except for the occasions where I would stay with her over holidays or breaks.

That being said, it's been a while since she did it, so I would totally post about my awesome mom doing my laundry if it happened now!
CurlyCanadian likes this.
"I don't know! I don't know why I did it, I don't know why I enjoyed it, and I don't know why I'll do it again!" -BART SIMPSON
My Mother is the most undomesticated Mother you'll ever meet

She throws killer parties, but she has an amazing cleaning lady and my Dad is a brilliant cook!

She does have a top of the line industrial size laundry set in the barn though, complete with warming racks lol
I believe in manicures. I believe in overdressing. I believe in primping at leisure and wearing lipstick. I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.
Audrey Hepburn
My Mother is the most undomesticated Mother you'll ever meet

She throws killer parties, but she has an amazing cleaning lady and my Dad is a brilliant cook!

She does have a top of the line industrial size laundry set in the barn though, complete with warming racks lol
Originally Posted by CurlyCanadian
I was going to say - I bet she's great at polo wraps and saddle pads!
The pews never miss a sermon but that doesn't get them one step closer to Heaven.
-Speckla

But at least the pews never attend yoga!
wow! you all are saying "relationship" not acquaintance, BFF in the virtual world, or anything.

you can be all you can be [sorry army] and then some, because you are a figment of someone's dreams and fantasies, as they are your's.

i think the longest i have gone without seeing someone is my hubby. almost 13 years ago, we talked for a few days before our big meetup...no relationship for a w h i l e. a few days, not too much time to make up a figment of his imagination or vice versa... LOL...
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Just meet people in person normally for your own good people please.
Originally Posted by Rumwolf
It's a pretty big assumption on your part what's good for people and what isn't. Many people meet future SOs and spouses online these days and are quite happier for it.
Just meet people in person normally for your own good people please.
Originally Posted by Rumwolf
It's a pretty big assumption on your part what's good for people and what isn't. Many people meet future SOs and spouses online these days and are quite happier for it.
Originally Posted by wild~hair
Truth. I met my current SO online. I mean, I only met him in person bc it turned out we lived on the same street and took the bus to the train in the morning at the same time, which is super cray in Chicago. Buuuuut w/e I really like him and we're pretty happy.
wild~hair likes this.
Last relaxer: 8.4.10
BC: 9.6.11

when will your favs?

Just meet people in person normally for your own good people please.
Originally Posted by Rumwolf
It's a pretty big assumption on your part what's good for people and what isn't. Many people meet future SOs and spouses online these days and are quite happier for it.
Originally Posted by wild~hair
When you meet them for coffee after connecting on the internet is this not real life?

Pretty sure I'm in real life too now also. Riiight now. Or now? Is it real life yet?
gekko422 likes this.
My best friend is in a 7 year marriage from a man she met online. I know several people who are involved in relationships with men/women they have met online. Like "in the real world" you have to be cautious and recognize red flags when they are waving. There are toads online and in real life. I met a man thru a church group who was a player. Most of the men I have met have been thru friends and some of these men were real lulu's. You can have a long distance relationship, but I feel you need to have least met in person and began a relationship.
She should watch Catfish!
Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000
I watched this movie for the first time yesterday, it was really interesting but unfortunately not surprising.
Just meet people in person normally for your own good people please.
Originally Posted by Rumwolf
It's a pretty big assumption on your part what's good for people and what isn't. Many people meet future SOs and spouses online these days and are quite happier for it.
Originally Posted by wild~hair
i live in a very big city and the guy i'm seeing now (who i'm totally feeling) and the previous i met online. i probably wouldn't have run into either in my daily life and i'm out and about. both (and me too) were not in the club/bar/happy hour scene. they both lived in differnet neighborhoods, current guy much further than last guy so i wouldn't bump into them in the coffee shop, grocery store or anything. they both work out like me but at completely different gyms. both work in different industries than me so no meeting at work or through work events. both are not originally from my city, last guy had only been here a couple of years when we met and the other has been here around 15+ years so neither has deep roots here and a chance i'd meet them through family members. both go to church again like me but different churches.

for me the biggest positive of "online" is meeting someone right in your "backyard" that you might not have otherwise met. i insist on meeting in person soon if they don't bring it up first and if they are unwilling or unable or whatever i usually cut off all communication about 3 weeks in, that's plenty of time to meet someone in your own city.

btw, i met a guy in a club right around thanksgiving a few years ago. dude lied about his marital status (he was clearly separated but not legally divorced which i asked from the very beginning). he was my one experience with a narcissist and it was t.e.r.r.i.b.l.e.!!! so meeting in person doesn't mean greater compatibility at all. online opens your options but you still need to use good sense.
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i change lives...through fitness
i'm more relaxed being natural

Last edited by luvmylocs; 01-29-2013 at 01:33 PM.
Met my husband on match.com nine years ago; we've been married for 6 of that. But he was not my "significant other" until we'd been on about 7 dates.

luvmylocs likes this.
dude that played the joke is sick. what did he think would happen? he'd reveal himself and teo would be like...ok let's ride off into the sunset and enjoy life together. it's gross that he rationalizes that he "gave so much" and "got nothing in return" for his involvement with teo...uh dude you got a fantasy land boyfriend and some kind of sick romance with the object of your affections.
a dreamy pisces
please recycle, it matters...
i change lives...through fitness
i'm more relaxed being natural
dude that played the joke is sick. what did he think would happen? he'd reveal himself and teo would be like...ok let's ride off into the sunset and enjoy life together. it's gross that he rationalizes that he "gave so much" and "got nothing in return" for his involvement with teo...uh dude you got a fantasy land boyfriend and some kind of sick romance with the object of your affections.
Originally Posted by luvmylocs
I still don't see how he couldn't have known! There is more to this story...
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dude that played the joke is sick. what did he think would happen? he'd reveal himself and teo would be like...ok let's ride off into the sunset and enjoy life together. it's gross that he rationalizes that he "gave so much" and "got nothing in return" for his involvement with teo...uh dude you got a fantasy land boyfriend and some kind of sick romance with the object of your affections.
Originally Posted by luvmylocs
I still don't see how he couldn't have known! There is more to this story...
Originally Posted by mad scientist
he being teo? i'm just baffled...even the other guy is saying he didn't know. at this point why would he say that if teo was in on it? unless they both were getting something out of this sick "relationship"
a dreamy pisces
please recycle, it matters...
i change lives...through fitness
i'm more relaxed being natural

Last edited by luvmylocs; 01-31-2013 at 04:04 PM.
dude that played the joke is sick. what did he think would happen? he'd reveal himself and teo would be like...ok let's ride off into the sunset and enjoy life together. it's gross that he rationalizes that he "gave so much" and "got nothing in return" for his involvement with teo...uh dude you got a fantasy land boyfriend and some kind of sick romance with the object of your affections.
Originally Posted by luvmylocs
I still don't see how he couldn't have known! There is more to this story...
Originally Posted by mad scientist
There is no way Teo isn't lying his ass off right now. If he truly was the victim of a hoax, he discovered it very early on and kept up the charade.
Eres o te haces?

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