Is anyone out there suffering from Depression?

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I usually sign in under a different user name but since I have shown pictures of my face and given out my address from swapping hair products, I decided to be incognito.

I'm having a hard time with my sadness and I don't really have anyone close to me who will listen. I moved away from all of my family and friends when I got married 4 years ago. He has some family close by but I don't really have anything in common with them. This is only my opinion but they are way too pretentious for me to be comfortable around. I'm more of a tom boy so I'd rather be hanging out in a barn cleaning stalls then going shopping for Louis Vuitton handbags. That's just me.

I've tried quite a few different medications but they all made me feel strange, so much so that I started having panic attacks thinking there was something really wrong with my heart and my mind.

Any professional I have talked to just wants to put me on medication. I feel it's more of a band-aid than a cure, no? Does anyone have any advice besides medication to help me with my depression?

This isn't Seasonal Defective Disorder either. I'm tired all of the time and I'm really tired of the lack of joy in my every day life. What has worked for you? Have any of you tried Cognitive Behavioral Therapy?

Please don't reply if you are angry or annoyed towards me, my self esteem is low enough.
Here's some advice - I hope it is helpful, but I know depression is very complicated and I am not a professional.

First, have you been checked out thoroughly to make sure there is no physical basis for your depression such as low iron or low thyroid?

Second, if there is a bookstore near you with a good selection of books on depression, skim through some of them. See if any of the therapies sound like they might be helpful for you.

Do you have a close friend you can really talk to?
If you are religious, have you considered talking to a religious advisor or praying?

Try keeping a little journal each day. Write about how you feel and why. You need to sort out what is making you so unhappy.

Some people find exercise helpful. I advocate exercise strongly for other reasons but it never helped me when I was depressed. Maybe it would help you.

Some people feel better if they have a pet. Do you think that might help you?

Some people feel better if they help other people. Have you ever volunteered to help others?

For me, what worked was finding someone I could really talk to but sometimes you can't find that someone. Another thing that helped me is a book called "Constructive Living." It is not pro psychiatry at all and the precepts are very difficult to follow but it helped me a lot.

{{{ChiaPet}}} I hope you feel better and here's a small ray of sunshine - Your screen name is very creative - have you thought of doing something artistic? Maybe you need a creative outlet like acting or painting. Please post back and let us know how you are doing. You are not alone!
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Same here.

Do you have a history of depression? I do. It al started when i was 13. It has been on and off. Took meds for it. After i had my baby, i improved a lot. But now she is 8 and i am in menopause. My depression is back. It does not help that i am unhappy in my relationship. Like you, my family and friends are away. I have 1 close friend nearby. Anither friend is moving aqay.

Sometimes i feel ungrateful because there are people with way more problems. My life is a blessimg compared to them. But, i still feel down, desperate. I just want to run away.

You are not the only one...
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Imbpanama, I give you credit for responding as you did. It helps us to know we are not alone.

I am not depressed now, but I have suffered terribly in the past and took meds and saw more than one psychiatrist. There have been multiple suicides in my family and I was considered at risk for that.

I hope very, very much that it gets better for everyone who is suffering now. Please post here if it helps. I know for certain that I am not the only one who is reading these posts and getting strength from our community.
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Last edited by curlypearl; 02-01-2013 at 05:01 PM.
I have depression, but take medication for it. It gets worse during the winter because I pretty much never see the light of day. I work in an office in a cubicle without any sunlight. I live in a basement apartment that is like a tomb.

During the winter months, I try to make sure and go out and get some sunlight. My doctor also suggested vitamin D3 to help. Apparently, I'm so fair skinned that even time in the sun to absorb vitamin D wouldn't be sufficient for my body needs. The husband of my best friend has bipolar disorder and takes Vitamin D as supplements to his meds and swears by it.

Another thing that helped me (I reached out to a cousin in CA when it was really bad) was getting a journal and writing down 10 things that made me happy or made me smile that day. That way, my mind wasn't on how depressed I was and I was always looking for things that I could write down that made me happy. My cousin also sent me a really sweet, cute care package that had a book that was called something like 15,000 things to be happy about. I skimmed through it, but that really wasn't doing much for me. What DID help was that she made me 2 cd's of "happy" music. One was music she likes that makes her happy and she thought I would like, too. The 2nd cd was classical music that makes her happy and she thought I would enjoy, too. I loved them. I made one for myself and whenever I'm feeling low, I'll pop them into my CD player in my car to rock out on the drive to or from work. Nothing makes me happier than jammin' in my car and people looking at me like I'm completely nuts.

Lastly, in the care package, my cousin also included a little teeny-tiny book (I'm talking 3" x 3") and she recommended I write one thing that I like about myself and she started it for me, writing things that she thinks are awesome about me. I didn't necessarily write down things that made me awesome, but I do reference hers in there a lot and it makes me smile.

Meds can be very helpful, but you may simply be suffering from anxiety attacks and the doctor can prescribe a very low dose anxiety medication to take as needed (only when you feel the heart racing stuff coming on). A lot of depression can come from not knowing what is going on in your body and worrying that something is wrong. Trust me when I say that when I'm not feeling well and nothing seems to be getting fixed, my depression dips really, really low. It usually takes a while, but the problem for the illness for me is always found (so far) and once it's corrected, my mood gets better, decreasing the tiredness and hopelessness.

I know you don't want meds, but I also would recommend going to the doctor and having a full physical and blood workup. I went in to my doctor because I had been sick and wasn't getting better from a cold that bloomed into bronchitis, but had been sick for months and months before that. The bloodwork didn't show any infection, which was what they were looking for, but did find low thyroid levels. They got me on meds and I'm starting to feel better. And my depression and sense of self-worth is getting better as I feel better.

I feel for you. Depression is no fun.
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I bet you don't have depression. But since you are taking the depression pills it actually makes you depressed! The pills give you the actual depression. You should google it.
I bet you don't have depression. But since you are taking the depression pills it actually makes you depressed! The pills give you the actual depression. You should google it.
Originally Posted by lovydovy67

BULL!!!!!
I bet you don't have depression. But since you are taking the depression pills it actually makes you depressed! The pills give you the actual depression. You should google it.
Originally Posted by lovydovy67
Medications for depression have all kinds of nasty side effects but that doesn't mean the original poster should just dismiss her own determination that she is depressed.

chia - I have dealt with depression and anxiety on and off for many decades. The most important thing I learned is that it is an illness and you have to work to take care of yourself, all aspects of yourself, in order to try to be healthier.

Sleep affects depression. Set a schedule and go to bed at the same time every day, weekdays and weekends and get up at the same time.

Exercise outdoors if at all possible. Go for a brisk walk every day for at least 10 minutes. If you are tomboyish (I am too) you may be missing the connection with nature.

Download uplifting or mood improving meditation guides. Learning to control the negative thoughts and put them aside is so hard for me to do, but I try to meditate at least 3 days a week. Every day would be better, but I think exercise can be a form of meditation too.

Eat healthy for the most part. Every once in awhile, give in and have some seriously yummy comfort food: mine is pasta!! I struggle with my weight too and I try to seperate my weight issue from my depression. They are 2 seperate things but they do affect each other.

There are natural remedies for depression that have less side effects than prescription medications. I take Amazon.com: THORNE RESEARCH - Deproloft-HF - 120 caps [Health and Beauty]: Health & Personal Care because it is one product that combines quite a few different natural substances that individually are believed to help depression. I can really tell a difference with it. I sleep better and when I sleep better, everything improves! I can also tell that my mood has improved: I no longer have that constant overwhelming feeling of dispair.

Every time I feel my brain starting to cycle into negative thoughts, I try to rein it in and come up with something RIGHT THEN that I am grateful for. It can be big or little, it just has to be positive.

Don't beat yourself up and think that since you have so much to be thankful for you "shouldn't" be depressed. That's BS. Depression is a mental illness, not a reflection of your life. Yes, your life affects it; stress certainly has an impact on it.

If you pray, do so. I recommend the Lord's Prayer and the Serenity Prayer. If you are not religious and do not pray, read the Serenity Prayer as a poem and focus on learning to categorize things into what can you change, what do you have to "let go of".

Know that you can talk to us curlies about this too! Feel free to message me if you just want to talk, vent, or ask me anything about my treatments. I've seen a marriage counselor, a psychologist and a psychiatrist over the years. I've been on 2 different prescription medications at different times for depression but am not on either now. I did take each of them for a very long time when I was on them.

Hang in there! You will have bad days for no reason. You will have some good days too. Just know you are not alone!!!
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I usually sign in under a different user name but since I have shown pictures of my face and given out my address from swapping hair products, I decided to be incognito.

I'm having a hard time with my sadness and I don't really have anyone close to me who will listen. I moved away from all of my family and friends when I got married 4 years ago. He has some family close by but I don't really have anything in common with them. This is only my opinion but they are way too pretentious for me to be comfortable around. I'm more of a tom boy so I'd rather be hanging out in a barn cleaning stalls then going shopping for Louis Vuitton handbags. That's just me.

I've tried quite a few different medications but they all made me feel strange, so much so that I started having panic attacks thinking there was something really wrong with my heart and my mind.

Any professional I have talked to just wants to put me on medication. I feel it's more of a band-aid than a cure, no? Does anyone have any advice besides medication to help me with my depression?

This isn't Seasonal Defective Disorder either. I'm tired all of the time and I'm really tired of the lack of joy in my every day life. What has worked for you? Have any of you tried Cognitive Behavioral Therapy?

Please don't reply if you are angry or annoyed towards me, my self esteem is low enough.
Originally Posted by ChiaPet
I've been depressed since I was 13. I'm now 22 and 7 medications later I'm still suffering. I refuse to try anymore meds. So, I'm in CBT right now. I just started this week, and I'm hoping it will help me. I'm leaving for graduate school (law school) in August and have never been more scared in my life. I have no friends as it is, I have never had a bf, so I'm going to be completely alone when I go. I'm terrified and to make it worse I won't have a soul to talk to. I've always been independent but I don't want to be alone. I've never been so lonely in my life. That's why I'm hoping CBT will help me before I leave. So, even though I don't ever see myself getting married (another worry of mine due to no one ever liking me), I understand ur frustration. They do try to put everyone on meds as a quick fix in my opinion. They keep asking me if I want to try again, but every time I say NO. 7 meds and nothing worked. Only side effects. Well no thanks, I don't really feeling comfortable taking meds that will mess with my brain chemistry and screw me up even more. And now they say how about electro shock therapy.... Basically inducing mini seizures in the brain.... Ummmm, HELL NO!
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Last edited by sKorpio1190; 02-02-2013 at 09:02 AM.
sKorpio, I hope CBT works for you. I know it works for many. Good luck.
2/c and some 3A. Modified CG.
Protein sensitive
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Best 1st day method: Super Soaker
Conditioners: Curl Junkie Beauticurls Strengthening Conditioner,
Deep condish: Curl Junkie Curl Rehab
Stylers: Mix Curls in a Bottle into everything for shine. Terrible pj
Sometimes try roller sets - classic glamor but I prefer my curls.
Every day is a gift
sKorpio, I hope CBT works for you. I know it works for many. Good luck.
Originally Posted by curlypearl
Thanks curlypearl. I appreciate that
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I am actually Bipolar. I have periods of depression.

U just have to take it one day at a time. I know what its like when u wanna be happy, but nothing makes u happy.

Im going thru a depressive episode now. Its not the lowest I've ever been, but it sucks.

I find i have to do things to keep me upbeat, i listen to happy music, watch happy tv shows, read happy books.. everything has to be cheerful or i fall deeper into depression. Its not something u can just pray away. Sometimes i cry when i pray bc my illness makes me feel worthless and i feel like God doesn't like me. Its hard. But i still pray.

It doesn't help that i also have voices in my head constantly belittling me.

U have to stay as positive as possible.

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Well, you definitely aren't alone!

I've struggled with depression and low self esteem since I was about 12 (I'm 25 now). When I was around 16 I started getting suicidal.

I went on meds, and even though they worked for me, I knew that the feeling was entirely due to the medication and went off of it, I wanted to feel happy on my own, not through a chemical reaction (although I will admit that it took the clear head from being on the meds for me to come to that conclusion).

Exercise did nothing for me, I got maybe a 5 min high from it when I was done. But I recommend it because it does help a lot of people (and it helps me more now then it did when I was younger).

The suggestion to write in a journal 10 things every day that make you happy is a good one! I never wrote them down but I made myself remember 10 things every day - it was really hard at first but got easier.

If you can find some nature, you may want to get back to it (I don't know if you live anywhere near nature but sometimes going for a hike in the woods is the most calming thing). The meditation idea is a good one too.

If you can find someone to talk to, do it. It's much harder to deal with on your own - this can be a close friend, family member, religious leader, whoever, as long as you trust them to not discriminate.

If you don't have a pet, try volunteering at a (no-kill) animal shelter, sometimes being around the animals and making them so happy by interacting with them can really lift your spirits!

If you go to your doctor, insist on a work-up to rule out anything else, and then ask for non-medicated solutions to your issues. See if he can recommend a therapist, or local group that helps out with depression. Specify you don't like how you feel on medication and insist on not taking a prescription. If the doctor doesn't listen, you need to find a new doctor.
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This isn't directed at the OP, it's just a common misconception I want to address:

Antidepressants are not happy pills. They just don't affect your brain that way. In fact, you actually cannot get high on them, it's like trying to get high on aspirin. So what do they do? Let's say you have a chemical imbalance that's messing up your brain and making you depressed. Well, the right antidepressant will correct that imbalance. Then your brain can work properly, and you'll feel less depressed and closer to normal. Not happy, not high. Just normal, with a normal ability to feel happy, sad, scared, motivated, or anything else.
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Any professional I have talked to just wants to put me on medication. I feel it's more of a band-aid than a cure, no?
Originally Posted by ChiaPet
It depends on what's causing the depression. If low serotonin levels contribute to your depression, you need an SSRI. But if serotonin isn't an issue for you, then (to my understanding) an SSRI probably won't help beyond placebo, which I guess could be called the band-aid function.

Anyway, if I were you I'd keep trying with other professionals. It can take a while to find a psychologist who's a good fit, but it's totally worth it. And I agree with what others have said about sleep, exercise, meditation, writing things down, and definitely getting a physical exam. And beta blockers are great for anxiety. They're normally prescribed for high blood pressure, but they also prevent or end panic attacks by keeping your blood pressure normal. And unlike valium, they don't affect your sobriety. You can take a beta blocker and still go about your day like normal. (Of course, like any drug or supplement, there may be side effects or interactions.)
Any professional I have talked to just wants to put me on medication. I feel it's more of a band-aid than a cure, no?
Originally Posted by ChiaPet
It depends on what's causing the depression. If low serotonin levels contribute to your depression, you need an SSRI. But if serotonin isn't an issue for you, then (to my understanding) an SSRI probably won't help beyond placebo, which I guess could be called the band-aid function.

Anyway, if I were you I'd keep trying with other professionals. It can take a while to find a psychologist who's a good fit, but it's totally worth it. And I agree with what others have said about sleep, exercise, meditation, writing things down, and definitely getting a physical exam. And beta blockers are great for anxiety. They're normally prescribed for high blood pressure, but they also prevent or end panic attacks by keeping your blood pressure normal. And unlike valium, they don't affect your sobriety. You can take a beta blocker and still go about your day like normal. (Of course, like any drug or supplement, there may be side effects or interactions.)
Originally Posted by Eilonwy

I think she means that they are quick to write a prescription for people who are depressed, rather than trying to figure out what's going on psychologically that could be causing the depression, rather than imbalanced brain chemistry. I just graduated with a BA in psych, so I get what ur saying. It's frustrating having a degree in psych when u can't even fix urself :-/ I think even if u have a chemical imbalance u should still receive therapy to make sure the roots dont go deeper than just chemistry. Also, if you don't have a lack or serotonin, it doesn't necessarily mean that the pills for it will just act as a placebo. I have tried SSRI's, SNRI's, etc. and they did not improve my depression, however, they DID have bad side effects. One made me damn near suicidal and another gave me horrible withdrawal, and another one gave me anxiety. So, while it may be a placebo in that it doesn't help the depression, don't just think that it won't have any bad side effects with it.
Wow, I am so thankful for this community. I am grateful for all of your kind words and advice. Thank you all for taking the time to reply. I want to thank everyone individually but that will be easier when I can get to a computer so I can see everyone's names while I'm typing.

There is a history of depression in my family. My Mom was diagnosed years ago with clinical depression and hasn't had any luck with medication either. My father is on a medication for anxiety and depression and I tried it hoping it would work as well for me but it just didn't help.

I was diagnosed with a low thyroid, hmmm, about 5 years ago? I take levothyroxine daily on an empty stomach and have my blood tested 3 times a year.

I work out 45-60 min daily on an elliptical trainer and lift weights 3-4 times a week. I'd love to get rid of 5 mushy pounds so my jeans fit better and I don't knock someone out with my jiggly bat-winged upper arms when I wave!

We are not able to have a dog where we currently live and shortly after I moved in with my husband, I had to find my 2 kitties good homes because my husband ended up in the ER because he couldn't breath from a severe cat allergy.

Then in the up and coming months I sold my horse because I was catching grief about how much it costed a month to board her. Then I sold my car to my mom because she needed my help at the time and I thought we would save money going down to one vehicle.

So there's nothing really left of who I was before I moved in. I'm living in his house, driving his truck and I'm not doing anything I used to enjoy doing. I can't just call up my mom and say, "Hey! Wanna do something?" She's 1200 miles away gosh darnit.

I am grateful for my health and for all of my limbs and for the faraway family I do have so please don't think I'm not. I just feel so isolated. The friends that I did have are all moving on, having kids etc, I live too far from everyone to care.

Keeping a journal is a great idea, I would just be afraid of someone getting ahold of it. I love the idea of volunteering with animals! What I would also love to do is start horseback riding again which was a huge passion of mine.

That constant stream of negativity is endless: "you're not good enough", "you don't deserve to be happy", you'll make a fool of yourself", "you'll just cause an argument". I can't even go to the grocery store without wondering what people are thinking of me. To me, people must think, "wow, she looks tired", or "ugh, look what she's wearing", or "wow, she needs her roots done badly and look at how frizzy her hair is". How do you turn that off??? I just want to be hypnotized. I want it all erased from my brain. I just want to look forward to doing anything again.

I used to be very musically inclined, piano, violin, guitar, but I hated playing in front of anyone so I thought "what's the point of practicing?" I have 4 guitars, 2 keyboards and a violin that sitting in a closet. I just never feel like playing

So I'm sorry for going on and on and I hope I didn't bring your mood down either. I have to stop being afraid of asking for or doing what I want to be doing. It's easy to blame my husband for my fears but I know it's my low self esteem and lack of confidence that is making me feel like a prison in my own body. I do have a few books on the shelf to look into again. I guess this is something that is going to take a lot of work and practice to get better.

Thanks again for all of your support, it means a lot to me
I can relate to the negative thoughts. They constantly play in my head. It doesn't matter what I'm doing. It can be just while I'm watching tv, or at work, or in a store, or even driving. They too tell me I'm fat, ugly, unloveable, and that I will never find anyone who can tolerate me. Why want me when there's so many pretty, attractive, great girls out there. Now that I have no friends anymore and will be alone in grad school, the negative thoughts just have validation to feed off of. These thoughts hold me back from doing a lot of things too. I don't want to go out or be around anyone. I psych myself out and always compare myself to everyone else, and of course I always think they are better than me. Now that I've gained weight too I have become even more isolated and depressed, so the negative voices are louder now. I hope things get better for u too
I think you need something for yourself. It sounds like everything that is "you" has somehow been eradicated from your life. I am musically inclined also and also sing, play the piano and the violin. I wish I could play the guitar, but my hands are too small and my brain doesn't comprehend the chords on a guitar like it does other music. Anywho...if you feel like you're not good enough, do it for you. Because you enjoy it. Nobody is going to make you go play at Carnegie Hall. Nobody is going to make you even play in front of them if you don't want to. You have power. I imagine your husband and you are away from each other from time to time alone in the house. When he's not home...play, sing, write, read, paint, whatever you like that is "you" that you can take back into your life.

You can write a journal if you want. Sometimes the act of writing it is enough and I never went back to any of my journals. There was a time period for me when I was really frustrated and had a lot of angst. My cousin (same cousin as before) gave me a notebook. A small, cheap notebook. She told me to write out whatever I wanted. If it was stuff that made me angry (at the time I had just had a huge argument with my grandma about a "woman's duty" and I was pissed), then I could write down what made me angry. If it was something that made me sad, then I could write it down. It kind of gave me a license to be able to own feelings I didn't think I should have. Anger, sorrow, sadness, fear. I never wanted to own up to being anything buy normal and happy and strong. I'm so not.

So this journal my cousin gave me. She sat with me (this was before she moved to CA) while I wrote and wrote and wrote in this notebook she had given me. When I was all finished writing, she asked if I wanted to keep it or chuck it. I chose chuck it because of the same fears of the OP...what if someone finds it and reads it? So we took a metal bucket out into the driveway, ripped the pages out of the book and burnt them. And it felt so good to burn them! It felt like the feelings went with them.

So if you're afraid to keep a journal, you can type it daily and delete it. Write it and burn it. Whatever would make you the most comfortable.

And I do want to remind you of one thing. Just because people live far away? It doesn't mean they can't help you. I never received better help than from people I reached out to for help and they live(d) 800+ miles away. E-mails, text, phone calls, cry calls.

I know it's hard to watch friends moving on and up. I see it all the time and kind of backed off and didn't find out until later that these friends really wanted me in their life, they just didn't know how to reach me anymore. I had closed myself off so much, nobody could breach the wall. Please, please, please don't become like me. It took me a lot to let a lot of what you're describing go. I finally decided I was doing it for me and nobody else and things are falling into place.

I can't guarantee a happy ending, but you do have people who care about you all over. Reach out and grab someone. We're here to help.
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This area is under construction as my hair type changed and nothing works well for me. I shampoo, I condition and pretty much have done nothing but chuck my hair in a messy bun for the past oh...year? Yeah, I'm that lazy.

No...going no-poo or CG does not work for me. It leaves me overconditioned and oily in a second no matter what I use, so that's not what's not working.
what if u don't have any friends u can talk to? or anyone for that matter?

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