Have you ever just not wanted to hang out with strangers?

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Friday I made plans with my BFF's wife to watch the Superbowl at their house. Then my bestie called Sat to say that they may move the venue their friends (j &M) house, she would let me know. I was kinda "meh" on the idea but decided to just wait and see what happened.

So today she txt me J&M's address and all the deets. I bowed out as honestly as I could. I'm just not in the mood to go to a strangers house. I was looking forward to just chilling in my sweats and crocheting and hanging out. But to go to J&M's, who I've met once and they are very nice women, I'd have to be dressed and on my company behavior...it just seemd like a lot of work.

My BFF insisted that I could be a bummy as I wanted and now was the perfect time to get to know J&M but it just didn't feel right.

I can't be the only one that has moments like this, right?
curlyarca and wavyblonde like this.
Happens to me all the time. I have to be in the mood to be with strangers. And I am easily annoyed when people change plans so I wouldn't have gone either.
Jaynee, curlyarca, SCG and 6 others like this.
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I often feel this way, and echoing jeepy above, changes in plans make me annoyed, too

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claudine19 likes this.
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I'm glad I'm not the only one.

I love my BFF dearly, but there have been other times that she made plans with me then made plans with someone else and she figures she'll just combine the plans and it'll work and everyone will be happy.

Sometimes it's fine but other times all it does is give a feeling of: Damn, now I have to shower. Bogus.
nynaeve77 likes this.
I have to be in the mood to go to a get together with people I don't know as well. Sometimes you just want to hang out with close friends and have a comfortable evening in.
Josephine likes this.


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I agree with Jeep 100%. I'd rather spend the day cuddling with my dog or DH than to go hang out with strangers. Just the idea of hanging out at a strangers house, even if I *kind of* know them, is exhausting to me. I can thank my inner introvert for that.
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Didn't anyone tell you to never talk to strangers?

For most of my life going hanging out with mutual acquaintances did not bother me at all. I loved meeting new people. Now I am not so thrilled about it, but I will if the mood hits to potentially have fun.
spring1onu likes this.
When I hear terms like "hipster" I think, who told cliques they could leave high school??

Only the opposite question would make sense to me. I never want to hang out with strangers! I'm good with people and all, but when I'm making plans to just chill with friends, I'm not looking to make it stressful, and having to interact with strangers is definitely stressful for an introvert like me. It sounds like your friend's really extroverted and clueless about the fact that not everyone gets energized by interacting with a bunch of random people. Have you mentioned that you'd rather she not change your plans like that, or is it fine for you enough of the time that you don't feel the need? It doesn't have to be a big deal if you do bring it up. If she does this often, I'd definitely say something. Knowing she has a habit of doing this would make me wary of making plans with her.
SCG likes this.
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What jeep said.




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If I knew some of the ppl there, it wouldn't bother me, personally. But I can understand how it might be a hassle for some ppl.
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I agree with Jeep 100%. I'd rather spend the day cuddling with my dog or DH than to go hang out with strangers. Just the idea of hanging out at a strangers house, even if I *kind of* know them, is exhausting to me. I can thank my inner introvert for that.
Originally Posted by Lucky Charm
This is me.
I sometimes just really dislike having to make an effort.
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Nope. Not the only one.
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Sometimes it's fine but other times all it does is give a feeling of: Damn, now I have to shower. Bogus.
Originally Posted by cailin
Me.

I agree with Jeep 100%. I'd rather spend the day cuddling with my dog or DH than to go hang out with strangers. Just the idea of hanging out at a strangers house, even if I *kind of* know them, is exhausting to me. I can thank my inner introvert for that.
Originally Posted by Lucky Charm
This is me.
I sometimes just really dislike having to make an effort.
Originally Posted by Starmie
Me.

Sometimes I think very sociable people just don't understand the emotional effort involved for introverts to get ourselves out and about. It's not that I think they're wrong for trying to be inclusive, but I'm just not comfortable going to A's condo for a Superbowl game or elsewhere for a family dinner in which I will feel like an orphan hoping for more gruel.

For the most part, I think it's just me, but if they know this (and they do), why press me to join in? It's draining.

My point is, I'm with you, cailin, aka "Lady Boss."
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Sometimes I think very sociable people just don't understand the emotional effort involved for introverts to get ourselves out and about. It's not that I think they're wrong for trying to be inclusive, but I'm just not comfortable going to A's condo for a Superbowl game or elsewhere for a family dinner in which I will feel like an orphan hoping for more gruel.

For the most part, I think it's just me, but if they know this (and they do), why press me to join in? It's draining.

My point is, I'm with you, cailin, aka "Lady Boss."
Originally Posted by claudine19
HA!

I think it's the going to someone's house that really gets me. If we were all going to meet at a bar or something, fine. But there's something about the driving to a place I've never been, with strange parking rules (park on the street behind the house. Then what? tromp through the backyard, walk around? WHAT DO I DO???!!!) sit in someone's house I barely know and be afraid I'm going to break something.

It's all very exhausting.
jeepcurlygurl likes this.
Makes me anxious just thinking about it. Should I be early? Late? Which door? Does their doorbell work? Do people leave their shoes on? What do I bring? What do I wear? What about food??!!
And the whole smiling, being polite, no cursing, asking of dull questions.
Really, I'm tired out just writing that. Me and New Petie would rather just sit here watching tv and eating crackers.
In Western PA
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Hair texture-medium/fine, porosity-normal except for the ends which are porous, elasticity-normal.
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http://public.fotki.com/jeepcurlygurl/ password jeepy **updated Aug 2014**

I think the better question for me is "Have you ever wanted to hang out with strangers?" In which case, my answer would be 'No. Never.'

Jeepy, your post is spot on! Seriously, I didn't know anyone else worried about stuff like that!
jeepcurlygurl likes this.

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Every time I say yes to doing something social (usually because I feel like I should stop being such a stick in the mud and just do something) I immediately start going over all those things in my mind and wondering why the hell I said yes.
goldencurly, SCG and jeepcurlygurl like this.




Byron,GA> Charleston, SC> Jacksonville, FL> Guilford, CT> Rohnert Park, CA! A southern drawl in sunny Cali! .
The amount of time from slipping on the peel and landing on the pavement is exactly one bananosecond.
I do have a secret yen for pink in unexpected places. ~ninja dog
I've decided that I'll never get down to my original weight, and I'm OK with that--After all, 8 pounds 2 oz. is just not realistic.

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